To think that working is impossible for another 12 months at least?

[Marmaladedandelions]

I am pregnant and have a 1 year old. I have no husband or support. I won't earn enough to cover childcare costs.

I'm not being unreasonable, am I? This is one of the few times when I really wish I was!

So you're not with your husband? When did you split?

I dont understand why you are considering working when you (will) have three children and none of them are in school, you will be a single parent, you haven't worked for some time, don't know what you want to do, you would struggle with childcare, you have had severe depression.

Give yourself a break! Enjoy your babies. Sort out your little boy (don't know what the issues are there,) Take time off for a good year and then consider what you should do.

Thanks joker, that is a really nice post. Split February. It's hard. I want to be changing my life but don't know how.

Why couldn't you work if you always wanted to?

My husband wouldn't let me.

I wanted to but he just kept sabotaging any attempts I made.

I do know how you feel. I am desperate to work. I know it would be good for me. I rack my brains about what I could do. But I am a lone parent and full time carer at the moment.

But sometimes we have to accept our lot and make changes when the time is right. As the children get older, things should be easier.

I hope so. Thank you :)

'I can drive I just didn't have a car.'

Buy a car. Sell something, buy a car and move house. You have many options, but continually post threads and poo poo peoples' sound advice and attempts to help you.

I have a car now. I was explaining why historically things were difficult. And I don't 'poo poo' advice, I've taken a lot.

And this is why I name change; when people are rude for no reason.

How is it rude to point out to you that you have a lot of options? You namechange and people suss it out immediately because, as pointed out, all the threads go the same way.

I don't understand this 'threads going the same way' comment AT ALL. No one is arguing on here. Some comments have been v supportive and nice.

I think you know the way you expressed yourself was brusque and curt. I'm not going to get into an argument where I'm the bad guy for pointing that out. But I don't know what I've done that's so awful as I have found many posts on mumsnet generally to be extremely supportive and helpful. Some are unworkable because obviously not all apply but that's life.

It sounds like self esteem is an issue. You've mentioned being bad at teaching and then that you'd probably be bad at anything else. You've no reason to think that.

Get yourself out amd about to groups, speak to other parents, take a brave step and suggest meeting upat parks or your hohouse.

If you want to work there's nothing physically stopping you.

Thanks. In fairness I do think the pregnancy is stopping me just now because I am very sick a lot of the time.

'I think you know the way you expressed yourself was brusque and curt. I'm not going to get into an argument where I'm the bad guy for pointing that out. '

That's your opinion. Nope, don't see where I have been brusque and curt, but you're entitled to your opinion. Give over with the 'I'm not going to be the bad guy' nonsense like you're some delicate flower who's been attacked or that people want to be bothered arguing with you.

You're the one who starts thread after thread like that.

I agree, Littlemonsters and YesIDid. Always goes the same way.

Meh.

Pregnancy isn't stopping you from going out. You are stopping you.

I think most people would find it difficult in your situation. You will have two very small children and are on your own. Don't put too much pressure on yourself at the moment when you are not feeling well. But I can see if money is an issue why you are worrying about getting back to work.

Ok but I am being sick a LOT. Plus employment is difficult

Expat, I really, really don't want to fall out so all I'll say is I'm sorry if I've put your back up in some way and accept you weren't being curt or rude.

Money isn't an issue for the OP, she owns multiple properties, is mortgage free and is in receipt of maintenance.

And I am grateful for it. I'd rather have not married a knob though :)

I think that depression is at the root of a lot of OP's problems. She sounds very down to me and, if you don't like the thread, perhaps it would be kinder to just move on to another thread without making unhelpful comments?

OP, I've read another of your threads and am not sure what pp mean by it always goes the same way. I am, in some ways, in a very similar position to you and I am finding it extremely hard, so from me to you. I hope you can find some direction in your life very soon.

Thanks professor that's lovely of you.

I think I am depressed, probably still PND from DD. Don't know when it stops being PND and just becomes regular depression though!

It sounds as though confidence is a big issue for you OP

I can understand that, Marmalade. Whatever it is though, it's the absolute pits to go through, isn't it? Really hope you can find some way forward soon and begin to feel more part of the world. Try to balance pushing yourself and being kind to yourself, which is probably one of the hardest things in life to master!

I think a pp suggestion of volunteering at a playgroup sounds a good idea - as she said you could take your little ones with you and you would meet some other mothers? And, as it's volunteering, if you find it's not for you, it won't be the end of the world if you decide to find something else. Good luck!

We have a flexible nanny arrangement for our three . Works out about £100 a day, but if you were teaching near to home it might be less. It's £10 an hour ish anyway, which works out cheaper than nursery x1 and after school x2 for us. And the kids prefer it.

It would be very hard thats for sure. You are growing a baby and mothering at present.

It is hard and it is the pits at times. Thanks for understanding. I want to change things but it's so hard.