To think that working is impossible for another 12 months at least?

[Marmaladedandelions]

I am pregnant and have a 1 year old. I have no husband or support. I won't earn enough to cover childcare costs.

I'm not being unreasonable, am I? This is one of the few times when I really wish I was!

Yes, it's not so much the money as feeling I'm doing something useful/productive

Impossible? No, not at all. But if you want to make it impossible for yourself, I suppose you can.

I worked with someone with 3 children around 2 years apart from each other who returned to work full time after each child was around 3-6 months old. It can be done.

If you want to work, you could easily find a nursery and do supply teaching. An upto date reference will be great for applying for positions after the baby. Given you won't get any maternity pay, the sooner you get back into the workplace the better.

Do you have cash assets as a cushion or is it all tied up?

For example could you book 2 half days of childcare per week for a year initially and cover that cost while you volunteered at something? Or does it need to be more self-financing than that?

You've posted before haven't you? I have an inkling about rental houses.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself initially.

You don't need permission from MN to decide working is not right for you at the moment, I don't think it would be impossible but undeniably challenging. However you shouldn't feel guilty for taking timeout and there's lots of other ways to meet people. Maybe keeping your hand in with educational issues by volunteering at the school or taking a governor's role? I was wondering if you have cash and housing assets though will you be able to claim benefits or can you love off savings and ex's payments? Will your ex share custody of the children, if so tutoring when he has them could utilise your skills and bring in some extra money.

YABU. You certainly could work. If you don't want to, that's one thing. But it isn't impossible.

So looking after a newborn isn't useful or productive?

It might not be everyone's idea of fun, but it's certainly useful and productive.

If you're pregnant and due in July, surely you can just take a maternity year legitimately and don't need to ask anyone whether you're being unreasonable or not? If you don't work currently, then obviously you won't get smp, but either you use your savings or you can claim some support on the basis you have have 2 (3) small children and are a single parent. If you want to meet people, join some antenatal groups/playgroups/ or even set up your own (that way you can have your kids there too?)- or put yourself on the supply register for your local authority and you can always say no if they offer you work. tbh it sounds like you've got a lot of options available to you, which makes you pretty fortunate- it would be far worse if you were having to go back to a job you hate because you can't afford not to.

Thank you and it's very true about not going back to a job I hate! And yes, it is me with rental properties.

No the problem with supply teaching, apart from having NO confidence, is it obviously isn't guaranteed. If I had to pay for a nursery place for 2 babies and didn't get work then that's a lot of money; even with a day's work I wouldn't actually make a profit.

Having a baby is productive. I just never get to talk to anyone.

If you don't want to work that is you to decide of course, with money coming in from ex partner, rental properties and savings you could fund not working.

Hillingdon - the difficulty is that whatever job I get, I am currently pregnant and in fairness I don't think working when DD2 is under 3 months is right, apart from anything else I doubt I could get a nursery or childminder to take her. So that takes me to the very end of October, assuming she arrives on time, being the first time I can work. Does that make sense?

then, childcare costs are an issue. Yes, I have money coming in from my husband and yes I have two rental properties, however, even teaching, which is well paid, would only break even insofar as nursery costs for two are concerned.

It's frustrating in a lot of ways as I wanted to work when I was with DH, and he wouldn't let me, and now he's gone and I still can't work and it's harder with three children not two. My friend quite sensibly said if I started now I'd probably just find it too difficult, being pregnant and tired and sick and that would make me less likely to go back after DD2. But I just want to feel I am doing something productive, like I said, I suppose feeling a part of the world, if that makes sense.

Are you the poster with the little boy who is really struggling at the moment and you were unsure about sending him back to school?
If so then YABU not to work. He needs some stability and routine for a few months before the new baby arrives. Concentrate on getting him settled first before looking for work if you can afford to stay at home.

Thanks, fairgame, he is a little calmer now :) I think we are all just sort of finding our feet a bit?

YANBU that should have said. I do that every time

I work. And am considering jacking it in.

I'd be better off not working. What a joke!

I get £140 a week ctc now - my nursery bill is £180 a week.

If I stopped work, I'd still get £105 a week - no childcare costs.

Go figure that one.

I knew what you meant fair :)

That's crazy Blazing but I can sympathise: nursery for two babies plus after school for DS would be £100 a day at least.

Blazing - some on MN won't believe you but the system is broken if it doesn't make sense to work..

And why would you work if it was better financially if you didn't...

I've been in and out of work over the past few years since DS was diagnosed with a disability. I work at the moment but i'm only a little bit better off and 100 times more stressed. I will be stopping working again later in the year as we are moving to another county and it will cost too much petrol to get to work, plus i need to get DS settled.
The jobcentre are never bothered whether or not i work as DS gets DLA, the only reason i do go to work is for the social aspect and to lose the stigma of being a 'scrounger' (thanks daily mail!). Whenver i go back to work though DS becomes more unsettled at school. He is in a specialist school and they track behavioural incidents, there has been a stark increase since i went back to work. Sometimes i think its just not worth it and im torn about whether to carry on or not. I want to do the right thing for DS which would be to stay at home but i hate being labelled as a scrounger.

it's awful you feel the pressure in that way.

I think I might know what I want to do long term and I'm keen to get relevant work experience. I just wish I wasn't pregnant.

I think it's perfectly legitimate not to work or a year if you can support yourself. And potentially even if you can't support yourself.

Realistically though, what changes after a year? Won't you still need to be paying 3 lots of childcare? (inc after school care).

I am in a similar position, I want to work in some way or another but it's barely worth it after childcare.

Are your concerns around your longterm or shortterm future?

I think, although I'd still come against the childcare issues, I will be hopefully healthier, as pregnancy really does make me very sick and I had PND with both DS and DD so I'm fairly resigned to round3; joy :( but I guess I just don't want to be stuck at home for the foreseeable, I need to meet people and I need to think long term, definitely, I was a rubbish teacher so what else could I do?

You shouldn't feel guilty about putting your children first, and there are lots of ways for you to rebuild a social life without going back to work, but you do need a plan to support yourself for the longer term, even if your plan is not to work until the new baby starts school.
There are lots of other things you can do with a teaching qualification, if you don't want to go back to fulltime teaching. Go and see a careers adviser.

Where are they? I don't exactly want to use my teaching qualification. I think I'd need something else completely.

There are lots of things you can do education related which doesn't have to involve teaching. Have you considered education administration/management or even university tutoring. You will have a lot of useful transfers skills that many employers would be interested in so don't despair but don't hurry into a job that may not be right for you. Take time to research options thoroughly, retrain if necessary (lots of online courses available) & apply when you are ready.

I've linked to a few jobs to give you an idea of possibilities but it depends on your location and skills base. Take time out to think about what you want from your life, think sideways and enjoy your children.

www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=cGFnZWFjdGlvbj1zZWFyY2hieWNvbnRleHRpZCZ1c2Vyc2VhcmNoY29udGV4dD0yMTQzNjQzJnBhZ2VjbGFzcz1Kb2JzJmtleT1mYWlyJnJlcXNpZz0xNDI4NjE4Njk0LTc3OWY3NjBkNDgzM2VjMzBhMTQ5NmNhMGUwNTc5Y2E2MGI0MDI5MDY=

atsv7.wcn.co.uk/search_engine/jobs.cgi

No, I really don't want anything linked to education. Thanks, though.

I think I might know what I might want to do, it's the logistics of it. I am worried that because of the children it'll be impossible.