To think that working is impossible for another 12 months at least?

[Marmaladedandelions]

I am pregnant and have a 1 year old. I have no husband or support. I won't earn enough to cover childcare costs.

I'm not being unreasonable, am I? This is one of the few times when I really wish I was!

what is it?

Tematively considering social work, although I'd probably be rubbish.

Think very carefully before going into social work. It's a 3 year uni course for a start and the work/life balance is terrible. DM is a social worker she usually leaves the house at 7.30am and doesn't get home til 6pm most days. She often stays late or goes in on her holidays and days off and is often up late at night writing reports. The work is physically and emotionally draining and she is often stressed. She has only been qualified for 3 years and really regrets it. The pay is shit for the amount of work, she earns about 22k i think.

op, are you asking permission here to not work?

you sound as if you certainly dont need the money and you dont want to work anyway, so are you just wanting everyone to say "oh dont work then"??

I think that if you can afford to, it is fine to stay at home with your new baby and your 1 year old. It doesn't make you lazy or work shy. It is OK.

Could you be an exam marker or write exams/textbooks? This is generally done from home with meetings every now and then.

Fairgame yes it's probably a silly thought

ssd - in some ways, the exact opposite.

How to explain this - I'll probably make a right mess of trying to explain. I got married towards the end of my PGCE year, in 2004, so I was very very young and I had been with my husband for years prior to that.

I was really excited to start my first teaching job. I'd done really well on my PGCE and it seemed like everyone was full of praise for me. In hindsight, I got a job in the 'wrong' sort of school (for me, although I now realise in fairness most NQTs would have struggled.) But, that job did bring me two friends who stayed with me for years afterwards, through house moves and babies and family turmoil.

Unfortunately, a severe case of post natal depression or post natal psychosis might be more accurate in all honesty put paid to that and my teaching was never really the same afterwards. I finally left in summer 2011. That was also when my dad died (in the September actually) - and I think my husband manipulated the situation a bit, although I couldn't see that at the time of course.

Since then I have lived in a lovely house in the middle of nowhere. I read a bit. I see the ponies, chickens, sheep, i tend to my daughter, I pick my son up from school. I do little else. I frequently feel as if I'm not fully part of the world.

I've tried to do things with the children, and this was difficult as for a long time I didn't drive, but inevitably because of a combination of grief and depression and needing to be a bit cagey I haven't made strong links or bonds with people and it's led to me being extremely isolated. That's so hard.

I just want to feel I am doing something, going somewhere, rather than getting to the end of every day and being pleased but then just having to start it all again tomorrow. In short, I'm bored, I'm lonely and I'm sad.

I don't think social work will be right for you if you couldn't handle teaching. It takes a special kind of person to be a social worker due to the work involve.

Why don't you temp? You get to see a lot of places, meet new people, boost your cv and can apply for something permanent if you find a place you like.

I don't think I'd be any good at it. Probably not at anything. I don't know if I couldnt 'hack it' teaching either but maybe I couldn't. Don't know.

Hi Marmalade- I'm an advisory teacher for Looked After Children. It's a job which involves working very closely with social workers, but is distinct from social work IYSWIM. Feel free to PM me if you feel it might be an area you'd like to get into

Op, can I ask a question? I've asked before on various threads but you've never answered.

Why do you name change when you put exactly the same "identifying" detailed info in each thread?

I genuinely can't work out why you do this.

I've also said that you would probably get more accurate responses if you put all this identifying info in your OPs but you seem to enjoy the circularity of your threads. You just seem to "drip feed" info and your threads always develop along the same lines.

OP , sounds very tough.

You don't have to work right now, you sound like you have got enough on your plate tbh.

Do you drive now? Could you go to a gym with a crèche and do a yoga class or go for a swim? Anything without pressure.

Pregnant with a 1 year old and a school aged child is more than enough for now, yes, do try to get out and meet people, but if you can survive financially then don't pressure yourself.

Volunteer at a toddler group perhaps? Something where you can take your children with you.

Exam marking or maybe a distance learning tutor?

Be kind to yourself, I think most of us would struggle to cope with two children and a baby on the way on our own.

How about applying to do some exam marking? It might be a bit late now but the I know that Edexcel were still recruiting for KS2 SATs marking up until May of last year for last year's test. Worth a try?

Habit I suppose? anyway I'm using this name for the foreseeable; indid have an account I couldn't log in under for some reason so not a name change as such.

If you don't like me or my posts why reply? I mean that genuinely too.

Thanks tethersand I'll do that.

I'm replying, I suppose, to draw posters attention to the fact you are a name changer with form for these kind of threads. I just think that posters take time to reply to you and then you always drip feed info in and your threads invariably kick off.

This is why I think name changing is negative, as well as positive, as your style is very distinctive but you present as though you are a new poster who hasn't had all this advice before.

I have never pretended to be a new poster. If I was doing that I'd change info. I am appreciative of all advice. I have had masses of support from here.

Well your OP is very different from your actual circumstances, isn't it? Almost misleading, certainly disingenuous. It's as though you present yourself at the beginning of threads in a certain way and then add additional info to make it look as though posters have been unreasonable.

Anyway. I'm not going to get into it with you as I know how it will go. I just wanted to say if you want genuinely useful, specific, support, it would probably be more useful not name changing and putting all the relevant info at the start of the thread.

I don't think specific support is what you're after though. Either way, RL support is what you actually need, IMHO.

Im not trying to fall out with you but how is it different? I haven't gone into my whole life story but other than that?

Anyway I can assure you I haven't tried to be misleading and apologise if I hve.

From your other threads, you don't actually want to work as have been very used to not doing so. If you truly do then stop posting and throw your energy into job seeking rather than starting multiple threads that are always the same theme in the end.

Given your ex has limited contact at your discretion, you are their only role model. That alone should be enough to guide you if you are actually coming around to the idea of working.

Learn to drive. You have the money to. Learn on an automatic.

No, it's just the opposite. I always wanted to work but couldn't.

I can drive I just didn't have a car.

Op, I think the core of your situation is that you are feeling lonely and isolated, which is a horrible feeling specially with young children. How about moving house closer to a town?

I guess but I don't know - big upheaval!