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Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
FloatIsRechargedNow · 08/04/2015 20:32

OP - thanks for the info and, funnily enough it is beginning to make a bit more sense to me (I think). The point you raise about leaving children with family for years being more usual in Ghana is true I think.

Nice to hear about her helping the orphanages - it helps to soften this 'demonic', 'scammer', 'negligent parent' image that we have in our minds.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 20:33

We don't have his name, his mother's name or his father's name OP. You do. You have to be the one to make the call.

You know that you can't believe a words she says. How can you reconcile this with your conscience?

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 20:34

I really don't have it on my conscience.

OP posts:
madreloco · 08/04/2015 20:35

you don't appear to have much of a conscience.

Nettymaniaa · 08/04/2015 20:38

There isn't really any need for name calling. Why are we suddenly Nutters. I am not. You have posted a very erratic thread about an unstable situation and we showed concern.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 20:39

float she told me how FF left her kid in Ghana from age 3-15. She said the girl is now 20, unruly and ungrateful (now in the uk) and can't understand it. I said because she feels abandoned. Her mother was not around in her formative years. She could not understand my way of thinking. She said the child should be grateful as her money was sending regular money for her upkeep and sacrificed so much to support her. We just couldn't understand each other's point of view.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 20:40

netty I called HG and ff nutters, I don't know how you thought I meant YOU or anyone else on here!

OP posts:
Icimoi · 08/04/2015 20:42

Hi, Social Services, I'm a bit concerned about a young boy. Yes, he's with his mother. Yes, they have somewhere to live., it's just that they had to move quickly after I said they couldn't stay at mine any more. She's got Italian citizenship. Yes, she's got a ticket back home. Yes, the boy's father agreed to his son travelling. Yes, she seems to have access to money, he's fully clothed and fed. Sorry, I have no idea where he is. No, he's not in school, but then it is the school holidays and for all I know she's going to enrol him, or travel back to Switzerland or Italy.

What exactly are SS going to do with that?

FloatIsRechargedNow · 08/04/2015 20:44

OP has loads of conscience - typical MN - bite the hand that feeds you, this is a great thread which OP has diligently kept up. It's so bizarre it can only be true. The child right now has a roof over his head and appears happy and well fed. HG and FF may well be 'nutters' there's plenty out there raising children after all - it really isn't a SS issue.

OP quite rightly is not getting involved because she also fears what it might bring to her door - she's an LP with an 8 mth old who wants a quiet (ish) life. She is also literate, intelligent and well-travelled and bloody well knows best what she and her baby needs to do or not do.

madreloco · 08/04/2015 20:48

Not calling SS because you're worried about what it might bring to your door is not an ok reason to ignore the situation another child is in. Especially when OP brought the trouble herself, not just to her door but right into her house.
Not sure why we are arguing though since none of it is true.

skinoncustard · 08/04/2015 20:51

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Lucy61 · 08/04/2015 20:53

If hg gives birth in the U.K. Would her child be a British citizen? Would she and her dcs get housing and other benefits as a homeless mother of a British child?

Nettymaniaa · 08/04/2015 20:54

But that's not the whole story is it Icimoi. The child has been removed from school in last country. The mother has stated she is not returning. Does the father know his whereabouts. If you know that then you know more than us. Am I wrong or have we been told several times that the child was removed from school in Switzerland and the mother seems to have left due to a dispute. Sorry Lilylonglegs my bad but the thread though.

As for children being sent to Ghana it is common place. My nephews went. Stayed with their grandma. Went to school there and are doing really well at university. The family is wider and more extended which seems to be missing here. Family members may also come here but have to have a sponsor to do it legitimately. We have done that too. But it's always in my experience about family. The dads always know to the last dot where the child is in my experience.

FloatIsRechargedNow · 08/04/2015 20:55

I really do think that someone like OP would call SS if she truly believed a child was in danger of harm, and I will defend her if she's being needlessly attacked. And honestly most of the time I wouldn't bother.

And tbh - even if this thread isn't true - it's really good.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 21:04

HG 'refused the social services' option at some point over the last few days, looking back up thread. I assume that the hospital involved SS?

If she was in a position to 'refuse' SS intervention and it wasn't forced on her, sounds like they've already made a judgement about the situation.

Maybe right, maybe wrong, but it's now their responsibility, not Lily's, surely?

Yellowbird54321 · 08/04/2015 21:08

Well done Lily - I've only skim read the 2nd thread but can see you have managed to offload HGFH Grin Her life sounds as full of intrigue as ever but that's not your problem - sit down, have a drink and relax in your own home - eat bread where you want and stroke your baby's hair - you don't need to do anything else Smile
(P.S. Just curious did mediator ever get her shoes back?)

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 21:10

12.38.59 - HG declined SS option, if anyone's trawling for it.

SanityClause · 08/04/2015 21:16

If hg gives birth in the U.K. Would her child be a British citizen? Would she and her dcs get housing and other benefits as a homeless mother of a British child?

I am not British, and my DC would not be British if I was not married to their British father, even though they were all born here.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 21:17

She was given the Social Services option and declined so they know the situation.

That statement explains nothing. Firstly, how does OP know this. Is it another tale from HG?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 08/04/2015 21:22

Yy fairenuff

Rivercam · 08/04/2015 21:25

Lily - I've followed this thread. Well done on getting it resolved.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 21:37

Who knows if it's another tale from HG? Who knows what's true, aside from Lily has seen with her own eyes that the child is well fed and not obviously ill.

Lily is of the understanding that SS have been in contact with HG and HG has been in hospital so under NHS care for a few days.

At what point are people going to think Lily's done what she can with a shitty situation and let her get on her her own life as a LP with a baby?

LotusLight · 08/04/2015 21:39

You really really have done the right thing. Keep well out of this and forget it all. Don't get used again. Well done you.

Fairenuff · 08/04/2015 21:41

I think this thread shows up those trained in safeguarding and those not.

Not a criticism, just an observation.

christinarossetti · 08/04/2015 21:44

I can only speak for myself, but if you're assuming that I'm not trained in safeguarding, you're wrong fairenuff.

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