AIBU to think that if an adult breaks something they replace it?

[worridmum]

Sorry its long one with a tiny bit of a rant

AIBU to think that my "D"sis should replace my DH computer that she broke when warned not to do something. My sister thinks I am and says she will replace with vastly cheaper item that is not a a suitable replacement or we should suck up the £500 excuss on our home insurence and she thinks I am being tight in insisting she replaces like for like. since if we claim it will push our premiums up so in effect paying double for her grave laspe in judgement.

basically the story is we have just finished renivating our new house so decided to host a family get together to celibrate the hard work we had put in and to finally have resolution for a problem from work (in my prevous thread)

And so we hold the get together have some well desvered wine (children at camp et) and basically hold a mini tour of our house with the expection of my DH study as this is his primairly work space so has important documents and his custom built computer (needed partly for his job as a software engineer and partly his hobbies which had cost just under £3000) and everyone was told this room was offlimits. (its up a flight of stairs that leads onto its own floor and so doesnt have a door)

So my sister takes expection to not being shown this room goes up by herself with a large glass of wine about an hour after we had shown everyone around and somehow procceds to fall and not only manages to smash one of the monitors by landing on it she also manages to spill her wine down the back of the mainframe of the computer (which was turned on due to complining some software) which causes the computer to short circuit and basically ruined the entire computer (which was only bought a month ago)

Before I start the ranting section Dsis was completely fine

And so my DH and a couple of other people run upstairs to see what happened where then my sister says shes "darn goofed" and shes had a little accident and tries to down play everything as after we made sure she was fine DH was frantically trying to damage control the sistatuion etc

Which too my Dsis is very very funny and proceeds to laugh and joke about the entrie sistuation which just wond up DH even more and said quite loudly DH should take a chill pill as its only a computer. Which understandable was not taken well by DH whole sadly got really angry and shouted at my sister and ranted about how is it funny that a months long project has possibly gone up in smoke (computer was actully smoking at this point as he could not turn off internal power source in time) and that is has cost us alot of money and read her the riot act and asked her to leave the house.

(I am not excusing my DH but he was not abusive to her per say as in was not swearing / abusing her was just shouting, this is totally out of charater for him hes normally so calm and passive but he most likely shouldnt of reacted like that)

We leave it a couple of days to see just how much was damaged etc (thankfully back ups werent effected so only lost the compling time so project wasnt effect) but the computer, monitor and mainframe were total right offs.

And my sister contacts me to see how everything is and to apoligize to me about what happend and asked is there anything she can do to sort out the mess she made, which i replied she could replace what she damaged and apoligize to my DH. So she said fine I will replace the computer but I will not apoligize to DH as he was totally out of order etc and I comment that she still should apoligize as she was out of order etc and she hangs up.

So my DH sends a invoce for the computer parts (he can get the computer parts direct from manifactur etc so cheapest possible price ) which was £2600 which understandalbe is a quite a large number replys that she will buy a computer from PC world as she has seen one for £300 and that we should be greatful to even get that and I reply thats not a suitable replacement etc

(she has the money to replace it as she is in a well paid job and last week told me /boosted she had saved up £24,000 for her next years around the world holiday).

Sorry its really long but I thought I needed to include everything so not to accidently dripfeed later on

So AIBU for insisting she replaces the item she destoryed or I am being tight in expecting us not to be even further out of pocket for her totally avoidable mistake.

Ps sorry for spelling and grammer posting on a tablet (because the computer is out of action at the moment) without spell checker and I am dyslexic.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

That's true, Bogey, but it does sort out the immediate problem and the immediate loss of cash. As the sister sounds like a complete arse who is likely to refuse to pay anything over what she considers reasonable, getting at least £500 out of her has to be better than nothing.

[MarthaMonkeynuts]

I'd take her to small claims too

[worridmum]

how much does a insurence premium go up after you claim ? is it in the contrct / policy signed or is there a pretty standard amount?

I am just lucky that we are covered if it happend a few weeks ago we wouldnt be covered (just moved house and getting insurence in post codes where large scale flooding has occured is a PITA so for the first 3 months we had no insrunce because no one would insure us even tho the property did not flood)

So luckly for us with have the posibilty of another option if she wont pay up (dont the insurences go after the people at fault? like car insurence? sorry I dont know much about home insurence

[VexiLexi303]

YADNBU! Your sister was told not to go into that room along with the other guests. This isn't a case of you taking her up there with he wine in hand which would have been silly. No, she took it upon herself to go up and spill it over the laptop.

Which is why I don't think YABU to ask for the full amount. You can't use your insurance and why exactly should you when this fully grown (albeit drunk) woman invades your DH's work space and potentially ruins his project as well.

She's an adult and needs to take responsibility for her actions, drunk or not no one made her go into the work room.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

www.moneysupermarket.com/c/news/how-will-a-home-insurance-claim-hit-my-premium/0031441/

[Box5883284322679964228]

She should pay 2500. The minimum she should pay is the excess and the difference in future insurance costs.

[Crossfitmyarse]

I think the fairest and most reasonable thing to do would be to claim on your insurance. She should pay the £500 excess plus any difference in your premium for the next couple of years or so. Would you be demanding that she pays up front in cash for the whole thing if you hadn't recently heard her 'boast' that she'd saved 24k?

I am a bit that you didn't just show your family the this very special secret room in the first place - it's not like you have MI6 up there, is it? You must have made it sound like you did for her to want to go snooping around behind your backs like that. Most odd.

[worridmum]

thank you thumbwitch 10-15% hike in preimuniums might actully cost us the same amount (or there abouts factoring in the excess cost) for the whole system if the hike lasts for 5 year

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Then tell her that and get her to pay for the new system instead. :(

Small claims court costs money too, and they can make stupid awards like "pay it back in instalments of £10 a week"

[worridmum]

I didnt show them the "secret special" room because DH asked me not as he was running work projects and its nothing really special just a desk with a high end desk top mainframe and a planning table (and it was in a bit of a mess and DH is a bit prescous with people seeing he is messy while doing programing/work).

And the view from the window is excatly the same as the room below and and above just that its at a different hight

Its most likely my fault I should of been gaurding the stairs more

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Oh no, don't start blaming yourself! Your sister had absolutely no business going where she'd been told she shouldn't, no one else felt the need to, did they? She was just being a PITA and now she has to pay for her drunken arrogance and stupidity.

[base9]

Doesn't sound like an accident at all to me. Sounds very deliberate - she went to a room she was asked to avoid, destroyed important equipment, and then laughed when you were upset.

Yes, she should pay, and you should have a think about why you still see her. I would cut all contact with someone who behaved like this.

[Bogeyface]

I dont know about house insurance but when I was driven off the road by a lorry driver who's employers and insurers admitted liability straight away, my car insurance went up from £330 a year to almost £1000 on the basis that I had made a claim. The fact that my insurers didnt have to pay a penny, that all of the pay out was made by the other side and that he ended up with a conviction for dangerous driving was neither here not there.

Its only now, just before Xmas, that my insurance has dropped because its been 5 years since the accident that wasnt in any way my fault. Pissed off doesnt begin to cover it.......

One thing though, if I had known how it would affect my premiums I would have insisted on my lawyer claiming, and actually going to court, for the cost of that increase when she threatened court for my uninsured losses. It would have created a precedent that would have stopped ins co's getting back their payouts to other people by clawing it back from their customers through increased premiums.

[Crossfitmyarse]

No don't blame yourself, it was entirely her choice to go snooping.

[ShadowStone]

No, it's completely her fault, you shouldn't have had to guard the stairs. She's an adult who should be capable of understanding and complying with a request to not go in your DH's study, not a toddler.

And YANBU to expect her to pay up if she has the money to hand. Try explaining to her how much claiming on your insurance is likely to cost you in increased premiums over the next few years to see if that makes her see sense. She's not even offering you enough to cover the excess on your insurance at the minute.

[KatieKaye]

DSis sounds like hard work.
She drunkenly caused a lot of damage and does not want to pay the actual cost.
Why should you pay higher insurance because she deliberately went into a room you'd explained was an office and off limits? You have every right to keep some rooms in your house private.
She caused the damage, she has the money - she should pay.

[ZenNudist]

Just claim on insurance and ask her for excess.

[Hissy]

She has the money, she should pay.

[Hissy]

jilted don't be such an arse, op said she's dyslexic!

[fulltothebrim]

bogey- that sounds strange. A no fault accident should not affect your premiums. I have had two no fault accidents in the past 6 years and my premiums haven#t gone up by a penny.

[Stillyummy]

If you wrote off her car (a big one that fitted all the people she needed into it) and replaced it with a smaller and shit but new car, would she be happy? It is the same thing. Yanbu.

[PeachyPants]

She's behaved horrendously, if this had been a genuine accident (if the computer wasn't in a room she's been told to keep out of) or didn't have the money then I'd say let her just pay the excess. She should absolutely pay the full amount, whether she will is another matter, what do your parents think?

[waithorse]

You sound lovely Jilted.

YANBU OP, she should pay.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

I think it depends how old the computer is - not reasonable to expect her to pay the full cost of repairing if it wasn't that new. Also I think it would be much kinder to put it in your insurance and get her to pay the excess - that's what if do. And to be honest although she has clearly done something wrong, she has owned up to it and offered to make amends. I think that you should have been gracious and accepted this rather than insisting on an apology to the dh (who had badly crossed a line and definitely owed her an apology) and behaving coldly towards her (invoicing her! Wtf!). I think that if you had accepted her offer of amends in the spirit it was offered and if your husband had come forward and apologised first for his bad behaviour, you wouldn't be having this fight now.