AIBU to think that if an adult breaks something they replace it?

[worridmum]

Sorry its long one with a tiny bit of a rant

AIBU to think that my "D"sis should replace my DH computer that she broke when warned not to do something. My sister thinks I am and says she will replace with vastly cheaper item that is not a a suitable replacement or we should suck up the £500 excuss on our home insurence and she thinks I am being tight in insisting she replaces like for like. since if we claim it will push our premiums up so in effect paying double for her grave laspe in judgement.

basically the story is we have just finished renivating our new house so decided to host a family get together to celibrate the hard work we had put in and to finally have resolution for a problem from work (in my prevous thread)

And so we hold the get together have some well desvered wine (children at camp et) and basically hold a mini tour of our house with the expection of my DH study as this is his primairly work space so has important documents and his custom built computer (needed partly for his job as a software engineer and partly his hobbies which had cost just under £3000) and everyone was told this room was offlimits. (its up a flight of stairs that leads onto its own floor and so doesnt have a door)

So my sister takes expection to not being shown this room goes up by herself with a large glass of wine about an hour after we had shown everyone around and somehow procceds to fall and not only manages to smash one of the monitors by landing on it she also manages to spill her wine down the back of the mainframe of the computer (which was turned on due to complining some software) which causes the computer to short circuit and basically ruined the entire computer (which was only bought a month ago)

Before I start the ranting section Dsis was completely fine

And so my DH and a couple of other people run upstairs to see what happened where then my sister says shes "darn goofed" and shes had a little accident and tries to down play everything as after we made sure she was fine DH was frantically trying to damage control the sistatuion etc

Which too my Dsis is very very funny and proceeds to laugh and joke about the entrie sistuation which just wond up DH even more and said quite loudly DH should take a chill pill as its only a computer. Which understandable was not taken well by DH whole sadly got really angry and shouted at my sister and ranted about how is it funny that a months long project has possibly gone up in smoke (computer was actully smoking at this point as he could not turn off internal power source in time) and that is has cost us alot of money and read her the riot act and asked her to leave the house.

(I am not excusing my DH but he was not abusive to her per say as in was not swearing / abusing her was just shouting, this is totally out of charater for him hes normally so calm and passive but he most likely shouldnt of reacted like that)

We leave it a couple of days to see just how much was damaged etc (thankfully back ups werent effected so only lost the compling time so project wasnt effect) but the computer, monitor and mainframe were total right offs.

And my sister contacts me to see how everything is and to apoligize to me about what happend and asked is there anything she can do to sort out the mess she made, which i replied she could replace what she damaged and apoligize to my DH. So she said fine I will replace the computer but I will not apoligize to DH as he was totally out of order etc and I comment that she still should apoligize as she was out of order etc and she hangs up.

So my DH sends a invoce for the computer parts (he can get the computer parts direct from manifactur etc so cheapest possible price ) which was £2600 which understandalbe is a quite a large number replys that she will buy a computer from PC world as she has seen one for £300 and that we should be greatful to even get that and I reply thats not a suitable replacement etc

(she has the money to replace it as she is in a well paid job and last week told me /boosted she had saved up £24,000 for her next years around the world holiday).

Sorry its really long but I thought I needed to include everything so not to accidently dripfeed later on

So AIBU for insisting she replaces the item she destoryed or I am being tight in expecting us not to be even further out of pocket for her totally avoidable mistake.

Ps sorry for spelling and grammer posting on a tablet (because the computer is out of action at the moment) without spell checker and I am dyslexic.

Yes - 40 of them.....

That's not "just" anything. That's significant trauma.

Can we get over the derailment now and start being supportive????

Ok, I've said what I wanted so I'll stop now as it is clearly derailing the thread.

I'd be a bit concerned about any police officer suggesting she might be charged with assault with a deadly weapon, since that's not actually an offence. It is in the US, but not here in the UK.

I'd be querying that.

I would expect them to be looking at a S.20 wounding.

They'd probably charge a S.18 in the hope that the less serious S.20 would be seen as an attractive enough alternative for a guilty plea to be offered to that.

Hello everyone - we've no reason to believe the OP here isn't genuine, so please do make sure you report any concerns to us and please do not troll hunt on the thread.

Thank you all.

Thank you Becca I really dont know why people thought I wasnt genurine

kungfupanda you caught my dirty secert my husband is in fact a American so could be the reason for the mix up with the names of the crime he explained that the step up from GBH if using a weapon was assult with a deadly weapon or something similear though we live in the UK at the minute.

Would 'assault with a deadly weapon' might translate to attempted murder in the UK?

No, we just don't have it all.

S.20 GBH - without intent
S.18 GBH - with intent

Murder and att murder have to have the intent to kill.

Weapons are just aggravating features of the main assault categories.

S.18 GBH is as serious as this is going to get, and I'd expect the prosecution to accept a plea to S.20 eventually, if it does go down that road.

When my son was burnt to 13% of his body and spent 10 days in a specialist hospital, they said his burns were superficial. Didn't bloody look superficial to me..

Superficial in everyday speech is very different to the true meaning of the word in medical terms.

I hope worrid you are feeling less beleaguered and more supported by your family.

thank you for the clear up kungfupanda

Sorry for this last question I know possibly you wont be able to answer as it is up to the judge to decide it but is it likely my sister is going to go to prison?

I doubt it tbh worrid, there's a long way to go before it gets to that point. This is all out of your hands now, it will be up to the CPS to decide if it's going forward.

Remember that none of this was anyone's fault except your sister's. As a family you need to stand together and support your husband. Your mother needs to come to the understanding that she loves all her children, but that your sister has behaved unacceptably. Then she can support all of her children as needed, and not take sides.

Just read this thread.

I think you'll have to decide if there's a custodial sentence before deciding if there's contact in future.

I used to have an awful temper turned out it was a thyroid problem causing terrible mood swings. So I'd suggest your DSis is tested for that and other possibly hormonal problems. Mine was discovered late 2 years ago at 41 and I used to flare up (but not like your sister!).

But your sister regardless needs anger management and therapy.

So sorry for you Op.

OMG - I'm only seeing the update from the 2nd June now. Wow. Just wow.
Have some unMumsnetty hugs while I'm at it.

How is your DH doing now? Is is ok? How are you doing and coping after that? Hope you're both doing ok.