AIBU to think that if an adult breaks something they replace it?

[worridmum]

Sorry its long one with a tiny bit of a rant

AIBU to think that my "D"sis should replace my DH computer that she broke when warned not to do something. My sister thinks I am and says she will replace with vastly cheaper item that is not a a suitable replacement or we should suck up the £500 excuss on our home insurence and she thinks I am being tight in insisting she replaces like for like. since if we claim it will push our premiums up so in effect paying double for her grave laspe in judgement.

basically the story is we have just finished renivating our new house so decided to host a family get together to celibrate the hard work we had put in and to finally have resolution for a problem from work (in my prevous thread)

And so we hold the get together have some well desvered wine (children at camp et) and basically hold a mini tour of our house with the expection of my DH study as this is his primairly work space so has important documents and his custom built computer (needed partly for his job as a software engineer and partly his hobbies which had cost just under £3000) and everyone was told this room was offlimits. (its up a flight of stairs that leads onto its own floor and so doesnt have a door)

So my sister takes expection to not being shown this room goes up by herself with a large glass of wine about an hour after we had shown everyone around and somehow procceds to fall and not only manages to smash one of the monitors by landing on it she also manages to spill her wine down the back of the mainframe of the computer (which was turned on due to complining some software) which causes the computer to short circuit and basically ruined the entire computer (which was only bought a month ago)

Before I start the ranting section Dsis was completely fine

And so my DH and a couple of other people run upstairs to see what happened where then my sister says shes "darn goofed" and shes had a little accident and tries to down play everything as after we made sure she was fine DH was frantically trying to damage control the sistatuion etc

Which too my Dsis is very very funny and proceeds to laugh and joke about the entrie sistuation which just wond up DH even more and said quite loudly DH should take a chill pill as its only a computer. Which understandable was not taken well by DH whole sadly got really angry and shouted at my sister and ranted about how is it funny that a months long project has possibly gone up in smoke (computer was actully smoking at this point as he could not turn off internal power source in time) and that is has cost us alot of money and read her the riot act and asked her to leave the house.

(I am not excusing my DH but he was not abusive to her per say as in was not swearing / abusing her was just shouting, this is totally out of charater for him hes normally so calm and passive but he most likely shouldnt of reacted like that)

We leave it a couple of days to see just how much was damaged etc (thankfully back ups werent effected so only lost the compling time so project wasnt effect) but the computer, monitor and mainframe were total right offs.

And my sister contacts me to see how everything is and to apoligize to me about what happend and asked is there anything she can do to sort out the mess she made, which i replied she could replace what she damaged and apoligize to my DH. So she said fine I will replace the computer but I will not apoligize to DH as he was totally out of order etc and I comment that she still should apoligize as she was out of order etc and she hangs up.

So my DH sends a invoce for the computer parts (he can get the computer parts direct from manifactur etc so cheapest possible price ) which was £2600 which understandalbe is a quite a large number replys that she will buy a computer from PC world as she has seen one for £300 and that we should be greatful to even get that and I reply thats not a suitable replacement etc

(she has the money to replace it as she is in a well paid job and last week told me /boosted she had saved up £24,000 for her next years around the world holiday).

Sorry its really long but I thought I needed to include everything so not to accidently dripfeed later on

So AIBU for insisting she replaces the item she destoryed or I am being tight in expecting us not to be even further out of pocket for her totally avoidable mistake.

Ps sorry for spelling and grammer posting on a tablet (because the computer is out of action at the moment) without spell checker and I am dyslexic.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Obviously she should be prosecuted and you should never see her again.

If your parents aren't supportive then that's dreadful - it's GBH, covering up or making excuses for such a serious crime is probably why your sister is such an utter fucker.

I can't believe how dreadful your parents are.

[WhatIActuallySaid]

If you had a wine bottle thrown at you and had cuts, I can't see how they would be 'minor cuts and scatches'. Glass injuries are not like that. Perhaps that's why the OP later says 'they were pretty big cuts' and that 'he was losing a lot of blood'.

Strange thing to get confused about though

[RattusRattus]

Crikey 32 stitches! I'm sorry OP - when I said I would try and get your DH to drop the charges I had no idea he was so badly hurt. Definitely don't follow my advice!

What a terribly sad situation. I think the OP and her DH have behaved with great dignity in the face of extreme provocation. Hats off to both of you.

[LurkingHusband]

Just to put things into perspective, maximum sentence for GBH is 14 years.

[ememem84]

I thought Gbh was worse than assault?

Cousin got done for Gbh because he head butted a guy who spat in his girlfriends face. (He was lucky and only got a suspended sentence and community service) apparently if he'd punched the guy it would have been assault and no suspended sentence? Though may be to do with circumstances.

Either way he was planning on moving to Australia. This has seriously affected his chances.

[worridmum]

hello everyone sorry about the confusion I should of said none life treating wounds rather than minor because looking back that was the totally wrong word to use.

And the bottle was thrown it hit his shoulder and somehow half of the bottle or so fly/ bounced upwards cutting his neck and some of his lower portion of his face (I am sorry its really really hard to describe)

And I thought GBH was worse than assult ? because assult can be anything from spitting / slapping to punching etc were has GBH involes possible serous injury / perment injury etc but I might be mistaken.

Sorry about the lateness of clearing this up (mornings are a mad house getting the children ready for school then work etc frist free moment all day so far)

[WhatIActuallySaid]

So did the bottle smash?

[worridmum]

God I actully really wish I was actully lying and I do not know if it was smashed on something else first as I did not actully witness the bottle being thrown as I had already left the room as she had actully upset me and I had left to comprose myself to then come back in to see my husband on the floor covered in blood and only seeing the aftermath of the event.

I am sorry that I did not interrorgate my husband for a more in depth account of the story and I am actully really upset that you would even think I would lie about something so horrid, would you actully want me to post the injury photos to prove my story?

I came here to get some support and possible practically help for my situation and now to have people think I would actully lie about this whole thing.

What sort of person do you think I am?

Thank you everyone that gave me sympothy and support but I dont know if I am actully going to come back because this has actully upset me I am many things but I am not a lair.

[hedwig2001]

Well I believe you Worrid. I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.

[Orange6358]

I Believe you. It's a horrible situation OP

[Catsize]

To correct a pp, GBH has a maximum sentence of life imprisonment if done with intent, 5yrs if not. In England and Wales at least. Suspect this will fall into the 'not' category.
OP, ignore the doubters!

[WhatIActuallySaid]

Worrid I didn't call you a liar - it's just that you have contradicted yourself a lot. You said the injuries were 'minor cuts and scrapes' and then the complete opposite and now , having 'described' exactly how the bottle hit your DH, you say you were not even in the room. They are odd details to be confused over.

Might you get called as a witness or have you had to give a witness statement to the police? If so I hope your story is clear.

[The5DayChicken]

It's an impressive throw if she's managed to chuck it with such force that not only has it hit his shoulder and smashed, but the shards were thrown off it with enough force to cut shoulder, face and neck. Was there a firework in the bottle or something?

[worridmum]

I did not give a witness statement because I was not in fact a witness and the events I described are how my husband attempted to describe the event to me because like i said I only saw the athermath

[KeepOnTryingTilYouRunOutOfCake]

Right instead of outright accusing the OP when she is in a vunerable place already, speak direct to MNHQ instead of trying to trip her up with your questioning!?

[2spooky4me]

I've been following your thread for a while now, Worrid. De-lurking to say I believe you.

[ttc2015]

I agree with KeepOnTryingTilYouRunOutOfCake. You may have doubts but imagine that you definitely are saying such a thing to someone that's been through the trauma and upset, knowing she could have lost her husband given a few inches, and realising her sister hates her- how do you think the questioning will make her feel after all that plus guilting from her mum?


Seeing as the OP only saw the aftermath, she'd only be called in as witness to that.

[WhatIActuallySaid]

I'm not accusing the OP of trolling but I think the details are very relevant. She is worried about hating her sister and has explained her distress over her mother not wanting to take sides.

A scuffle resulting in 'minor cuts and scapes' paints a very different picture to someone being bottled and taken away by ambulance while the perpetrator is carted off by the police and charged with GBH.

In one senerio I might advice some understanding or leniency but in the other I would be suggesting going NC permanently and being extremely pissed off if my Mother didn't fully support me.


I know posters can change details for privacy but I can't imagine there were too many weddings fitting this description in the last few weeks.

[clareabouts]

The OP has already explained that she used the word "minor" ill-advisedly to make it clear that the injuries were not life-threatening. Given that she's also explained that the suspicious probing some posters are subjecting her to has upset her to the extent that she may stop posting here even though she's upset and traumatised and looking for support in a horrible situation, I'm not sure what continuing to do so is likely to achieve, other than removing that source of support for someone having a really difficult time.

OP, I've been following the thead too and I have to say I think you've behaved impeccably and thoughtfully throughout what's been an increasing nightmare. I'm so glad you have other family who are supportive, and I really hope things settle down for you.

[slithytove]

I believe you, I've seen you on other threads, know that you have been here a while same as me, and don't see why you would lie.

Why don't doubters take it up with mnhq?

[WhatIActuallySaid]

I know the OP is a long standing poster but that doesn't mean she it's a good idea for her to post such contradictory information.

I change details in posts so that I don't get recognised by people I know in real life but that doesn't seem to be the reason that the OP has done it.

Of course it's not surprising if someone uses the wrong word from time to time but describing her DHs injuries as minor cuts and bruises is odd especially when she goes on to say that he was losing a lot of blood and that the bottle cut his neck very badly seem an odd mistake to make.

As I mentioned before I think it is important because it effects the advise given to the OP on what she should do and it might have effected the advice on what the OPs sister is going to be charged with etc.

I think it's relevant.

[WhatIActuallySaid]

Sorry for all the typos and spelling mistakes - small phone

[Orange6358]

I suspect A&E staff would consider them superficial cuts though. And we know medical staff
were vocal about the injuries potentially being much more serious/life threatening. The injury does not compare to a serious car crash injury. In the big scheme of things, all DH needed was stitches!