To ask for advice on how I should tell my manager about this?

[IAmNotAToy]

I've name changed for this as I've posted quite a lot about where I work before and I think this might out me.

There is a man at work who I don't really like much. There's never been any particular reason why, but maybe it's because he is quite loud and brash whereas I'm more reserved. He also has a habit of being very touchy feely but I always put that down to him not being English. He is well liked by everyone else and all the managers love him too.

Yesterday we were both at work and about halfway through my shift he walked up to me from behind and started groping my arse. I told him to stop it which he did.

About half an hour later he again approached me from behind and started groping me again and just like before I told him to stop it. He then sniggered and asked me why I didn't like it and if I'd not ever had boyfriends before. I then stupidly told him, that yes I had, to which he then asked if I'd not had sex with my boyfriends before because if I had this shouldn't bother me .

I decided that I would try to avoid him for the rest of my shift as he was creeping me out. He obviously had other plans as later on he followed me somewhere else and again he grabbed my arse only this time he then moved his hand away from there and onto my crotch and he proceeded to grope that .

This is going to sound stupid but I was in shock and didn't do anything. He's never done anything like that before.

I tried to stick with my other colleagues as best as I could but there were times when I couldn't avoid being away from them and any time this happened he would again follow me and feel my arse and crotch and at one point tried to kiss me.

At the end of my shift I made a point of hanging back for a bit to make sure he had left too so he couldn't follow me home. Sounds paranoid but he had been asking me questions all day about where I lived. He also kept asking me to come to the back room with him because he wanted to show me something. Obviously I didn't go with him but it was kind of creepy how insistent he was being.

It sounds silly but now I don't want to go back to work. Luckily I've got four days off anyway but I'm dreading going back.

I don't know if I should mention anything to my manager as like I said the manager does really like him as does everyone else. Also everyone knows I don't like him so I'm worried in case people will think I'm making it up just to cause trouble.

And I have no idea how to phrase something like that...how would you phrase something like that? I'm scared that I might just start crying .

OP - great news. I totally get how you feel as if you want to carry on acting normally.

Well done reporting.

thankyou for doing this. thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hope he's crapping himself, the bastard.

Phew!!!! Well done OP

Really good to hear your manager is supportive.

He has sexually assaulted you. You poor thing. Tell your Manager and your police. Asking where you live has nasty connotations re intentions of stalking to me. Also the fact that he tried to escalate to full sex while at work is bloody scary: he has no impulse control, no awareness of societal norms of behaviour and no idea of respect for women and no idea what is acceptable behaviour to women. Your work will very probably sack him as they have a duty of care to their employees health and safety and he has gone way beyond acceptable behaviour and is clearly not safe to have around women.

And do report it, most sexual predators start with behaviour like this then escalate to more violent attacks/full on rape. I was sexually assaulted and reported it, they believed me and told me its a common pattern to have a history of sexual assaults that get gradually worse/more violent/escalate.

Glad employer is behaving in the correct way.

You can bet this won't be the first time he has done this - maybe not at your work but somewhere. And in the future when someone else gets the courage to come forward then your report will help back them up too.

Sazzle and Giraffes - I am shocked especially Sazzle that people tend to escalate. The man who assaulted me many years ago was known for 'cuddling the girls' - I think he was having an affair with his PA too...

What's worse is I googled him - he's an eminent medical researcher/inventor with a listing in Debretts etc... I could have ruined him if I'd whistle-blown and he knew it... I sort of wish that I did something back then. His excuse was that 'he'd been jet lagged' when he groped me (bum, breasts etc). Bastard.