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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bad start with mew neighbour-

180 replies

mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:26

I live in agated complex that has a buzzer for the main gates. Yesterday we were all out until the early morning with the children at a family function. Obviously we all fell straight asleep until 8 am this morning when my enrtry phone keptbuzzing! I eventaully got out of bed and answered it and a woman very politely asked for the house if i could let her in. I said you have to buzz whoever it is you are visiting, you are waking us up, and put the phone down. I went back to bed only to be buzzed again at 8.15 (ignored) Then at 8.30. I got out of bed again. The same woman, apologetically said she couldn't get in as she didn't have a fob key yet and had tried all of the other houses and no one was answering. I got cross and said 'please stop buzzing me you are going to wake my children up' She stared speaking over me (something I hate) so I told her to stop interrupting me, and thanked her for waking me up multiple times. Eventually, begrudgingly, I let her in.
They are moving in next door.
Was I being unreasonable? Should I confess and make amends?? Or was she in the wrong?

OP posts:
PureMorning · 07/04/2015 13:49

Why not just let her in. You sound rather pompous.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:50

She must have buzzed everyone- there are only 8 of us altogether. Not a good start to neighbourly relations. Obv I was the only one that answered which is why she kept bothering me.

OP posts:
AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons · 07/04/2015 13:50

You aren't selling gated communities to me. Grin

WorraLiberty · 07/04/2015 13:51

Don't be so ridiculous ClumsyNinja

CaspianSea · 07/04/2015 13:51

You were mean and unhelpful. How do you think she felt, being stranded outside with you hanging up entry phone on her? Imagine you lost your fob and she did same to you! Wouldn't you feel a bit desperate?

It's not her fault you had a late night. She wasn't buzzing at 5am.

I suggest you pop a card under her door apologising for being so rude.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:52

To be honest, I would have expected an apology by now. It's been quite a while. She did apologise profusely on the intercom. Yes, I was grumpy but she was a little entitled wasn't she?

OP posts:
backinthebox · 07/04/2015 13:52

You sound really unpleasant and I wouldn't like to live next door to you. Here's hoping you never find yourself without your key fob, eh?

EmeraldThief · 07/04/2015 13:53

You were bloody rude, so yes I would seriously grovel and try to make amends. Or just hope that you never need a bit of neighbourly help or a favour on future.

8.30 am isn't early on a weekday ffs. Surely it was obvious that she was a new neighbour when she said she didn't have a key fob yet?

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:53

Silly clumsy Ninja. Don't believe all you read, come and experience the capital for yourself!

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 07/04/2015 13:53

What a silly thing to say, Ninja.

And I agree 8am on a weekday isn't unreasonable; it's reasonable to assume people would be up and about getting ready for work/school.

OnlyLovers · 07/04/2015 13:54

To be honest, I would have expected an apology by now.

Shock After YOU were rude and snippy?

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:54

Even during school holidays? Obviously if I was already up then no problem!

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 07/04/2015 13:54

I wouldn't want to live next door to you.

You've said she was polite to start with, you've clarified that she apologised profusely.

Not surprised she talked over you. You weren't really going to give her a chance to explain, were you?

Salmotrutta · 07/04/2015 13:55

So she apologised profusely but you think she should apologise again?

Am I interpreting that correctly?

Feminine · 07/04/2015 13:55

Woops! Just an easy over tired mistake.
Go and say sorry, with the premis of welcoming her.

Will she know for sure it was you?

madamG · 07/04/2015 13:55

In the interest of good neighbourly relationships why worry about who was 'wrong' and pop round to welcome her to the neighbourhood? Try to move on. FWIW I think YWBU and need to get over it.

TurnItIn · 07/04/2015 13:57
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 07/04/2015 13:57

Are you going to go round with 'welcome to the neighbourhood' flowers and try to smooth over buzzgate ?

AtomicDog · 07/04/2015 13:57

FWIW, I've always found Londoners extremely friendly and helpful including my dad.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 07/04/2015 13:58

I passed a new face in the courtyard earlier. I am assuming it was her. She gave me a genuine bright smile and i smiled back, despite sunglasses hiding blood shot eyes, so she doesn't know it was me. I could get way with it until she found out the number i live at!

OP posts:
TormundsMember · 07/04/2015 13:58

Is this reverse op? You're not coming across well. Yabu.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 07/04/2015 13:58

If she's moving in then she should have the right keys! Not the OP's fault she's disorganised, is it? I think a lot of the comments here must be from people who've never had the misfortune to live somewhere with buzzers like this, been woken up by the pizza delivery for X as they're not answering, the carer for Y as they're not answering and so on. Every situation is a one off but cumulatively, it's a real nuisance. I'd be annoyed in the same way if someone knocked on my door and they'd got the wrong house at early o'clock too. I think the onus is on the new neighbour who disturbed the OP to apologise for disturbing her and her children.

EmeraldThief · 07/04/2015 13:59

Unless she's got psychic powers how the hell is she supposed to know that you were having a lie in? Expecting an apology from her for not having magical powers and knowing that you were still in bed at a time when most people are in work is quite frankly ridiculous.

What exactly do you want OP? Most posters have told you that you were rude and that you were the one being unreasonable, but you don't seem to want to accept it?

LittleBairn · 07/04/2015 13:59

There is no point to having the added security of buzzers if you let strangers in so yanbu.
Not to mention it's rude to buzz at that time, she knew she didn't have a fob she shold have waited till a more reasonable time to start hassling neighbours.

SoupDragon · 07/04/2015 13:59

Surely it was obvious that she was a new neighbour when she said she didn't have a key fob yet

She only said that at 8:30 having first buzzed at 8am. If course, had she said "I'm your new neighbour blah blah blah" the first time, none of this would have happened.

8am is too early to buzz and to buzz repeatedly having been told the people are sleeping is exceptionally rude. If she has no fob key she should be contacting the estate agent not waking up the neighbours.