Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had to choose between being a single parent or

156 replies

spudholes · 04/04/2015 18:45

never having children, which would you choose? Would you rather never have children or would you go it alone?

OP posts:
RainbowFlutterby · 04/04/2015 18:47

Single parent.

ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 04/04/2015 18:47

Never having them and I say that has a single parent.

But I never wanted children in the first place.

I know a woman who has always wanted a child and was a single parent the minute she said she was a parent. She is brilliant and it really does suit her. She wouldn't have it any other way.

I guess it's personal

ilovepicnmix · 04/04/2015 18:48

Single parent every time. I have been one since DS was 9 months old. My family are great but live a 5 hour drive away. It's hard but totally worth it. If I hadn't become a mum it would have been a huge regret for me.

KaputKiss · 04/04/2015 18:51

Single parent

MrsDiesel · 04/04/2015 18:54

Single parent.

SaucyJack · 04/04/2015 18:54

Oh single parent, no question.

I was on my own with my older two for about five years until DP moved in.

Yes, it was far harder than parenting with a decent bloke- but nowhere remotely near being so bad I would rather not have had them.

YouPooPooBumBum · 04/04/2015 18:55

Single parent

misstiredbuthappy · 04/04/2015 18:55

Single parent. It's not that bad .. honest Wink

InQuiteAPickle · 04/04/2015 18:55

I'd rather be a single parent.

All I ever wanted was to be a mum. I'm not very good at it though Grin.

Ineedtimeoff · 04/04/2015 18:55

singe parent, no question

Flipchart · 04/04/2015 18:56

I would have gone without children.

oneowlgirl · 04/04/2015 18:56

Single parent (caveat is that I've never been one so can't comment on how difficult it is, but can't imagine anything that would take away from the amount of happiness & love my boys bring me ).

fourteen · 04/04/2015 18:57

I've always been a single parent. I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to have chosen it but I'm glad it happened.

sleeponeday · 04/04/2015 19:00

For me, single parent. For them, no kids. Because I am not someone who could do a good job alone - and DS is disabled. Other single parents are brilliant so it's not a criticism of the family unit. Just what I could personally handle well.

Twoplus3 · 04/04/2015 19:01

I cpuld never bring up children as a single parent, nor would I want to, so if I knew somehow that I'd end up this way then I'm afraid I'd probably chose not to have any chidkren in the first place.

HerrenaHarridan · 04/04/2015 19:01

Single parent, no question.

It's hard but I wouldn't wish it away

Kampeki · 04/04/2015 19:01

Single parent. I wouldn't not have dd for the world!

Pantygirdl · 04/04/2015 19:01

Single parent. Husband left when I was 8 weeks pregnant so very hard at the beginning dealing with grief from the end of our marriage and change in circumstances but wonderful now.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/04/2015 19:02

Em it's not a crime or bad to be a single parent you know.
We're living in 2015 not 1520.
I raised my dd as a single parent.
There's no stigma, now

NotNowBono · 04/04/2015 19:04

It's looking like I'll probably go for option B. For me, personally, the risks of going for A, and regretting it, or not being able to cope (no nearby support network, unstable self-employed job, age) are just too high. Fair enough to gamble with my own life, but not with another human being's.

I have great respect for those who choose A and make a success of it, but I don't think I could juggle the physical, practical, financial and emotional demands of bringing up a child on my own.

RedButtonhole · 04/04/2015 19:04

Single parent.

I never wanted children and DS was a big surprise, however having him has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Being responsible for him forced me to step up and I'm a better person for it, without a doubt.

jelliebelly · 04/04/2015 19:04

I'd have chosen no children. But then I wasn't ever bothered about having kids - DH and I were married for 10 years before we both decided we wanted them - if I hadn't had that relationship I don't think I'd have ever had them..

Bumply · 04/04/2015 19:04

Ended up as a single parent. Not sure I would have chosen to be a single parent in the absence of suitable partner - mine was at least around for those early years of PND and lack of sleep.
But I've had no regrets since becoming a single parent - it would have made for a quieter life without them, but also gave me a purpose.

Sweetpea01 · 04/04/2015 19:05

Single parent. I have been one for almost 4 years to two DC, in my personal circumstance it hasn't been difficult and I've actually really enjoyed it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/04/2015 19:05

Not had them. My DH was the one that really wanted to have DD. I wouldn't put her back now Grin she's grown on me!