Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had to choose between being a single parent or

156 replies

spudholes · 04/04/2015 18:45

never having children, which would you choose? Would you rather never have children or would you go it alone?

OP posts:
Preminstreltension · 04/04/2015 19:06

If you want children, it's much tougher to choose to be without children than to choose to be a single parent. I couldn't face no children so I chose to be a single parent and we are all happy.

OTheHugeManatee · 04/04/2015 19:06

It depends on the context.

Have a baby knowing from day 1 that the dad didn't want to be involved? I'd rather not have children. Others choose differently, but I wouldn't want that for me.

Have a baby, separate from the dad for some reason? Not much choice after that I suppose Smile

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 04/04/2015 19:09

A single parent but probably only to 1 ... being a single parent to several DC would be very hard, to one child not so hard I don't think.

StaceyAndTracey · 04/04/2015 19:10

Single Parent , absolutely

afreshstartplease · 04/04/2015 19:13

Single parent!

Would love another dc tbh but don't want a relationship!

BigFatFurryCatPuss · 04/04/2015 19:15

Single parent.

I've been one and while i wouldn't want to be one again i'd rather that than never have dc.

HormonalHeap · 04/04/2015 19:16

Single parent as you may well meet your soulmate in the future which will mean you share a lot of it, even if it isn't exactly he same. But if you don't have kids, that ship has sailed

Purplepoodle · 04/04/2015 19:16

I'd would have never have had children without my husband. I always thought I'd like to have children but as part of a package of husband, home ect. If I have stayed single then I'd be enjoying life as a single person not thinking of children. But things change as you get older so I don't know. Quote a few of my friends are 40s and decided not to have children

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 04/04/2015 19:17

Single parent. I love children and can't imagine not having them.

TheWhiteRoad · 04/04/2015 19:17

Single parent. I am one! I wouldn't be without my children.

Can I ask why you want to know? This is Mumsnet after all and very few single parents would wish their children away even if it's tough at times.

If you posted your question on a website for those who have chosen to be child free, I'm guessing you would get very different responses.

Romeyroo · 04/04/2015 19:17

Single parent (I am one to two DC)

annascorner · 04/04/2015 19:19

I'm a single parent but I'd have chosen to never have children. I probably would never have chosen to have children if it had been a completely free choice.

Ragwort · 04/04/2015 19:20

Neither - if that is an answer to your question Grin. I don't think having children is the be all and end all of my life. My DH was much, much keener to have DC than me.

FaFoutis · 04/04/2015 19:22

Single parent.

Fanfeckintastic · 04/04/2015 19:26

Single parent, without a shadow of a doubt.

museumum · 04/04/2015 19:28

Not having them/him.
I love my ds to bits but I can imagine a world where we didn't have him and we would have been ok and probably found other richness in our lives (I volunteered with teenagers and sports clubs before having ds, had to give that up).

Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 19:32

I find the question itself rather old fashioned Smile

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/04/2015 19:33

I'm not sure, in all honesty. Single parent, probably.

meglet · 04/04/2015 19:35

being a single parent has almost killed me off, but I think it's a million times better than not having dc's.

tilliebob · 04/04/2015 19:37

Single parent.

Squitten · 04/04/2015 19:37

I think I would chose single parent but I would only have one child. The idea of dealing with the 3 we have on my own is horrific!!

MadameJosephine · 04/04/2015 19:37

Single parent. I was on my own with DS for 7 years before meeting DP. If I'm honest I think that in some ways it was easier, although obviously I now have DP to share child care with DD etc I still do the majority of it and it can be difficult to have to take somebody else's opinion into account when making decisions when you are used to making all the decisions yourself

SilentTreatment · 04/04/2015 19:37

Never had children.

sleeponeday · 04/04/2015 19:38

I find the question itself rather old fashioned

I'm curious, Yellowbird - why? I mean, my Mum was a single parent and it is spectacularly hard work, and I don't think it's old-fashioned to acknowledge that, and consider whether the costs are worth the rewards. I know someone who chose to be, and had to move in with her mum the first year in order to cope. It's not lesser or invalid as a family structure, but it does take a huge toll on the parent as compared to being in a happy, functional co-parenting setup. It's twice the work. (Admittedly, it's less work than being in a shitty and dysfunctional co-parenting setup, but that's a whole other thread.)

Jengnr · 04/04/2015 19:43

Single parent. The thought of not having my son on my life is unbearable.

I love my husband very very much but I would push him off a cliff without hesitation to save our child and he would me. :D

Swipe left for the next trending thread