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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has gone and ruined our wedding planning with his petty strops

133 replies

Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 21:57

So, today was to be the day when we began our wedding planning. Now, DP has made no secret of the fact that this is nothing special to him as he's "been there and done that" but this is a HUGE deal to me, it means so much to me.

So tonight we had a meeting with a lovely venue, everything is PERFECT - cost, venue, arrangements - EVERYTHING.

I came back elated. DP too was supposedly over the moon. yet he began his evening of arsyness over Springwatch. He points out that Springwatch is being filmed locally and I ask "oh? how do you know?" this results in a load of "how do I know??? how do I know??? oh lets see, how do I know exactly??? hmmmmm how do I KNOW?????" Hmm. so he basically makes this into something it didn't need to be.

Later in the night we settle down with a bottle of red - something I'd been looking forward to all week to celebrate our wedding planning beginnings and he refuses to hug me saying he;s annoyed that I've picked my feet Hmm I say "what??" and he points out that I have picked a nail off my foot. I say "oh yes, I', going to throw it away in a minute" and he replies "no you wont" and goes and throws it away himself before snapping "Goodnight" at 9pm and buggering off to bed.

I'm livid. This was supposed to be a celebration of the beginnings of our wedding planning and he's manufactured an argument out of nothing and I'm sat here, alone as usual with a glass of red and the fucking internet. AIBU to wonder why the fuck I bother?

OP posts:
AlpacaLypse · 03/04/2015 21:59

Erm... if this is real it could be the beginning of one of the truly great Bridezilla threads...

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/04/2015 21:59

You don't sound very well matched. Sorry you've had a crap day.

RJnomore · 03/04/2015 22:01

Eh?

I'd be pretty raging if you were picking your nails and leaving them lying.

It might ruin MY day tbh.

You may need to take a step back and think about whether you are slightly over invested in th event re the wedding. He does sound like a bit of a twat re the spring watch thing. Perhaps you want to think about whether you actually want to marry him while you are at it?

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 22:01

He has done it all before he thinks it's a chore ....

What was all the Springwatch debarcle....

TrulyTurtles · 03/04/2015 22:01

Bridezilla and groomzilla. Think I'll have a glass of that red myself.

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 22:02

Why is this wedding a huge deal to you....you need to find a good match to marry first.

53Dragon · 03/04/2015 22:02

If you irritate each other so much then whyb are you getting married?

MrsFlannel · 03/04/2015 22:02

Perhaps he's feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know I would if my partner wanted to celebrate planning the wedding! The wedding is the part you celebrate!

itosh · 03/04/2015 22:02

If it makes you feel any better my DP wasn't really involved with much of the wedding plan as said he would rather I did it….

From friends I have heard this is fairly common. Don't expect your DP to be excited as you are .. sad but true in many cases!

NorbertDentressangle · 03/04/2015 22:02

OK, gut reaction here .....

a) do you think he actually wants to get married?
b) do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 22:03

The toenail things a little gross.... did he pop it in your wine?

ImABigOleBadLass · 03/04/2015 22:03

Thailandthailand, it sounds like you have a great weeding planned. Unfortunately I think your choice of groom is defective and could spoil the big day and the rest of your life.

Why not wait till you meet someone who is as excited about marrying you as you are about marrying them (and having a fab wedding), not this petty dog in a manger?

CrystalCove · 03/04/2015 22:03

I quite like the sound of being a winezilla mind you!

ImABigOleBadLass · 03/04/2015 22:04

Weeding? Wedding :)

Does sound like he couldn't care less, however.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2015 22:04

Did he plan his first wedding?

It sounds like he might have felt slowly wound up all day with it all.

Next time can you take a friend instead?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/04/2015 22:04

What's the spring watch row all about?

Is he usually a tit?

CliveCussler · 03/04/2015 22:05

Is the beginnings of planning a wedding an event in itself now?

Being arsey over Springwatch is also a concept I am having difficulty getting my head round.

KatieKaye · 03/04/2015 22:05

Is this a thing then?

Celebrating planning something? Confused

I actually get where your DP is coming from.
If you wanted everything to be so special and romantic why were you sitting picking your feet and then leaving the detritus around? that isn't exactly special or romantic.

BossWitch · 03/04/2015 22:06

The one thing that really stood out to me from your post was alone as usual. If your dp is frequently buggering off to bed early to get away from you/a row then perhaps getting married isn't the best of ideas.

Sorry that your day has been ruined. Do you maybe need to have another talk about the wedding - perhaps his perfect and your perfect are different and that's why he's in a foul mood?

Justmuddlingalong · 03/04/2015 22:06

How long have you been together, have you both been married before, when is the wedding?

Mrsstarlord · 03/04/2015 22:06

ThailandThailand

Is it also your post detailing how upset you are that DP doesn't take your career seriously? Two posts in one night about how awful your partner is, doesn't bode well when you aren't actually married yet unfortunately.

TheCowThatLaughs · 03/04/2015 22:06

He sounds a bit of an arse. Do you think he loves you? Why do you want to marry him?

Starlightbright1 · 03/04/2015 22:06

I am not sure how the events are connected?

do you normally get on?

TendonQueen · 03/04/2015 22:06

The 'alone as usual' bit of your post doesn't bode well. Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of Springwatch, the nail etc, is it really a good relationship? Would it be worth taking a step back from the wedding?

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 03/04/2015 22:06

You do sound a bit well, erm, a bit much to be honest, why would you celebrate the beginning of the wedding planning?
The nail thing is pretty scummy.