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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has gone and ruined our wedding planning with his petty strops

133 replies

Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 21:57

So, today was to be the day when we began our wedding planning. Now, DP has made no secret of the fact that this is nothing special to him as he's "been there and done that" but this is a HUGE deal to me, it means so much to me.

So tonight we had a meeting with a lovely venue, everything is PERFECT - cost, venue, arrangements - EVERYTHING.

I came back elated. DP too was supposedly over the moon. yet he began his evening of arsyness over Springwatch. He points out that Springwatch is being filmed locally and I ask "oh? how do you know?" this results in a load of "how do I know??? how do I know??? oh lets see, how do I know exactly??? hmmmmm how do I KNOW?????" Hmm. so he basically makes this into something it didn't need to be.

Later in the night we settle down with a bottle of red - something I'd been looking forward to all week to celebrate our wedding planning beginnings and he refuses to hug me saying he;s annoyed that I've picked my feet Hmm I say "what??" and he points out that I have picked a nail off my foot. I say "oh yes, I', going to throw it away in a minute" and he replies "no you wont" and goes and throws it away himself before snapping "Goodnight" at 9pm and buggering off to bed.

I'm livid. This was supposed to be a celebration of the beginnings of our wedding planning and he's manufactured an argument out of nothing and I'm sat here, alone as usual with a glass of red and the fucking internet. AIBU to wonder why the fuck I bother?

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 03/04/2015 22:09

Picking your nails is gross, and not really going to make someone feel romantically inclined.

ginslinger · 03/04/2015 22:09

He's a twat and your expectations are slightly skewed

Tizwailor · 03/04/2015 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 03/04/2015 22:10

He doesn't sound quite in the same place as you OP.

The rest all sounds a bit crackers if you ask me; Springwatch, toenails, wine. I'd need the wine though, I think.

BastardGoDarkly · 03/04/2015 22:11

I'm glad my dh didn't expect me to get so excited about the 'beginning of the wedding planning' I found it all a bit of a chore tbh.

You're really into it, he's not that interested, doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you.

Though why he stropped off to bed, after being a bit of a dick about spring watch,I dont know Easter Hmm

Nydj · 03/04/2015 22:12

Do you think, looking back on it, that planning to start planning something and then looking forward to wine to celebrate the actual start of the planning is a little odd and that others may find it a bit too much or at least not share your enthusiasm?

jelliebelly · 03/04/2015 22:12

Celebrating the beginnings of planning a wedding? - give me strength!

As for the rest of it I don't know why your bothering frankly.

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 22:14

You started two threads within minutes regarding how he upsets you. Maybe take a step back a while and think about how things are heading.

DragonsCanHop · 03/04/2015 22:14

You are doing his head in.

Ratfinkandbobo · 03/04/2015 22:16

Oh dear.

scarletforya · 03/04/2015 22:17

You picked your nail when you two were relaxing with wine and left it there?

That's disgusting. I'd be very irritated. Is this a reverse?

strictlyastrictlyfan · 03/04/2015 22:18

Ok, you both sound insane. I think you both have sexually transmitted insanity.

An argument over Springwatch / what the actual fuck?

And you have been looking forward to a bottle of wine all week to celebrate a meeting where you are deciding whether it not to pay for a thing in a place?

You are both awful and incompatible. Leave each other now.

Finola1step · 03/04/2015 22:20

Oh dear. Celebrating the beginning of wedding planning. I'm sorry OP but this has the potential to be MN gold.

Runningupthathill82 · 03/04/2015 22:20

Calm down with the wedding fervour, OP. If you seriously wanted to celebrate the beginning of wedding planning (?!) then you're going to be insufferable when it comes to buying a dress/shoes/rings.

The toenail thing is gross. And Springwatch is more interesting than "celebrating the start of planning."

Oh dear.

antumbra · 03/04/2015 22:20

You have been winding him up all day and now he has snapped.

Like all us girls the wedding is the highlight of our lives. Hmm It's something we all long for, play dress up for as children, that perfect day when fairytales come true and we can really be that princess.....

All we need to do is net some guy to stuff the suit and smile.

Op I would dump the guy and go ahead with the wedding anyway. Sounds like he was ancillary to your far more important plans.

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 22:22

Op

Are you Maaariel?

Isntitironic · 03/04/2015 22:23

Blatantly place marking.

KurriKurri · 03/04/2015 22:25

Beginning of Wedding Planning isn't really a thing is it? If it were a thing there would be cards for it on Moonpig, but there aren't.

I suspect that because the 'beginning of planning' day was so full on, he is worried he won't last the distance until the actual wedding day. He probably cares but doesn't want to peak too soon, because if visiting a possible venue involves wine, hugging and elation, then things like choosing flowers and trying on dresses may actually become dangerously ecstatic.

From your point for view I can see his Springwatch meltdown must have been disturbing, Springwatch is a complicated programe and nervousness is to be expected, but he sounds deranged.

I can't decided whether you are very badly matched, or incredibly well suited, but I wish you luck whichever is the case.

edwinbear · 03/04/2015 22:26

Celebrating the start of wedding planning? Isn't that kind of lumped in with celebrating getting engaged? Gosh - should I have celebrated the start of planning my new kitchen?

OP really, I am a veteran of wedding planning, I took 2 years over my own and trust me, please pick your battles.

annoyedofnorwich · 03/04/2015 22:27

So I'm dying to know... how did he know spring watch was local?!

StrangeLookingParasite · 03/04/2015 22:29

onlyonescoop, it's Myuuuuriel. 'You're terrible, Myuuuriel'

kewtogetin · 03/04/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TenerifeSea · 03/04/2015 22:29

I understand that you're excited and that this is special to you but your DP has already made it clear he does not feel the same way. I must admit that it feels very intense to me especially celebrating beginning wedding plans. You are embarking on a marriage, not just having a wedding. It helps to keep that in mind in the midst of the colour theme, food and venue madness.

kewtogetin · 03/04/2015 22:33

Between this and the other thread you've just started about how unsupportive he is of your career I'm wondering why the two of you are even together? He blatantly has no respect for you. What the hell are you doing marrying this guy?

IvyWall · 03/04/2015 22:33

Bin him and run away