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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP has gone and ruined our wedding planning with his petty strops

133 replies

Thailandthailand · 03/04/2015 21:57

So, today was to be the day when we began our wedding planning. Now, DP has made no secret of the fact that this is nothing special to him as he's "been there and done that" but this is a HUGE deal to me, it means so much to me.

So tonight we had a meeting with a lovely venue, everything is PERFECT - cost, venue, arrangements - EVERYTHING.

I came back elated. DP too was supposedly over the moon. yet he began his evening of arsyness over Springwatch. He points out that Springwatch is being filmed locally and I ask "oh? how do you know?" this results in a load of "how do I know??? how do I know??? oh lets see, how do I know exactly??? hmmmmm how do I KNOW?????" Hmm. so he basically makes this into something it didn't need to be.

Later in the night we settle down with a bottle of red - something I'd been looking forward to all week to celebrate our wedding planning beginnings and he refuses to hug me saying he;s annoyed that I've picked my feet Hmm I say "what??" and he points out that I have picked a nail off my foot. I say "oh yes, I', going to throw it away in a minute" and he replies "no you wont" and goes and throws it away himself before snapping "Goodnight" at 9pm and buggering off to bed.

I'm livid. This was supposed to be a celebration of the beginnings of our wedding planning and he's manufactured an argument out of nothing and I'm sat here, alone as usual with a glass of red and the fucking internet. AIBU to wonder why the fuck I bother?

OP posts:
SanityClause · 03/04/2015 22:34

Okay, the foot picking was gross. Seriously.

But that was after the bit about spring watch. What was that all about? Is it possible he had talked to you about it, but you weren't listening? In which case, neither of you seem to be interested in the things the other cares about. Or, was he just trying to pick a fight.

Wait until tomorrow, when you are calm, and discuss it with him. See if you can find what his issue is. Hopefully he will be receptive to your issues.

If neither of you really care about the other, what is the point of the relationship?

(I'm not saying you don't care about each other - I'm saying if that is the case.)

BastardGoDarkly · 03/04/2015 22:34

Oh come on, I don't think the op needs a good kicking from everyone Easter Confused

She got a bit over the top excited about something she's really into, no need to call her fucking mental is there?

ilovesooty · 03/04/2015 22:34

sexually transmitted insanity Grin

icelollycraving · 03/04/2015 22:36

Ok. The spring watch thing is comical,how did he know?
The looking forward to a bottle of wine = lovely, picking feet = not so much.
Sounds like you want a wedding & not a marraige tbh.

PterodactylTeaParty · 03/04/2015 22:39

I bloody loathed wedding planning, but I still managed to get through it without getting into a strop over Springwatch. Springwatch, of all things. OP, are you really sure you want to marry someone who deals with life like this?

ChoochiWhoo · 03/04/2015 22:42

Is he usually like this op?

Norland · 03/04/2015 22:43

Are you usually like this OP?

halfwayupthehill · 03/04/2015 22:49

I am laughing out loud at some of the responses..

Invizicat · 03/04/2015 22:50

Yes. Why the fuck do you bother?

SunshineAndShadows · 03/04/2015 22:51

He's not excited about the wedding cod he's 'been there, done that' Lets hope he doesn't put the same level of apathy into your marriage!
And you plan for a romantic celebration by picking your feet!
You sound well suited!

PerpendicularVincenzo · 03/04/2015 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming · 03/04/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minionsrule · 03/04/2015 22:59

Oh thank you - pure gold - there is nothing more to say really - except that I may not sleep tonight thinking about this thread - chuckling does not equate to sleep Smile

Eggynuff · 03/04/2015 23:01

How did he know? Did he ever tell you?

antumbra · 03/04/2015 23:03

Please tell me is wasn't a false toenail.

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 03/04/2015 23:03

Why is OP having such a hard time?

She wanted to have a glass of wine to celebrate booking their wedding. People do more when they book a holiday!
And then her partner manufactured an argument and had a strop.

Why is she in the wrong?

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 03/04/2015 23:04

Oh Sharon, Sharon, wherefore art thou Sharon? Shall I compare thee to an April T-rex?

26Point2Miles · 03/04/2015 23:05

Well op obviously isn't that bothered as she's not been back to either thread

ZenNudist · 03/04/2015 23:06

I think you need to be honest with yourself about if you want a wedding or a marriage with this man. It doesn't sound like a good relationship from either side. You're a bit over zealous about wedding planning , may have dubious foot hygiene, not the end of the world . He sounds nasty saying wedding not important to him. I don't even get the wtf about spring watch!?!? Overall you imply he's passive aggressive and unpleasant.

Don't let your desire for a fancy wedding override your instincts about your suitability as a lifetime match.

SanityClause · 03/04/2015 23:07

I don't think it's over the top to have a glass of wine, and clink and say "here's to our wedding" when you come home from choosing a wedding venue. Thailand wasn't having a party with all her friends and family to celebrate. I suspect she just wanted to sit down together with a cosy glass of wine.

(Incidentally, we eloped. So clearly, planning a big wedding is not my bag. But I appreciate it is important to many people. Which is fine.)

Thailand, can I just say, any mention of a wedding does tend to bring out a nasty judginess in some posters. Or maybe it brings out the nasty judgy posters. Please don't take some of the nastier posts to heart.

Justmuddlingalong · 03/04/2015 23:07

I bet she's busy composing the invite poem.

Marcipex · 03/04/2015 23:09

Open the wine, pull off your toenails. I'm glad romance isn't dead.

TRexingInAsda · 03/04/2015 23:10

You both sound really irritating. He is a complete knob about Springwatch (unless he presents the program and you haven't noticed), but you're a bit of a knob about the wedding planning. You don't sound like you love each other at all. I'd take this opportunity to reconsider.

Totality22 · 03/04/2015 23:11

It all sounds very tedious - rows about Springwatch and toenail picking

At least row about something worthwhile!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/04/2015 23:16

"Celebrating the beginning of wedding planning" has a Churchillian ring to it.

It is not the end,
It is not the beginning of the end
But it is the end of the beginning...
of saving 'Wedding Plans.xlsx'
and subscribing to Brides Magazine.