Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 38 39

Original poster

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:

PTAblues · 03/04/2015 18:25

I would worry about that poor boy. Can you find out the father's number from him and give him a call- maybe he can come over and get him. Otherwise she will drag him off god knows where. Personally I wouldn't be able to throw her out until I knew the child's other family knew what was going on- that's if they were involved in his life. Horrible situation for you.

CatsCantTwerk · 03/04/2015 18:25

The best thing you can do for this woman, her son and yourself is phone social services. Tell them you have a pregnant woman with a young son at your home and You need someone to come and see you asap.

Topseyt · 03/04/2015 18:29

The OP should not have to pay for anything more for this "guest", not even a hotel room.

Something doesn't add up. I'd be worried that all may not be as it seems here, and still say seek police advice now, especially because of the young boy. You really never know what might be going on, but there is almost certainly much more to it than you have been told.

She says she has gone to see some friend or another on the bus. Fingers crossed she may not come back, though I wouldn't hold your breath.

CatsCantTwerk · 03/04/2015 18:30

Is there no way yu can get hold of the boys dad?

Yellowbird54321 · 03/04/2015 18:31

I do think Topsy is right about striking whilst the iron is hot - maybe she will foist herself on find help from this other person she's going to see. Otherwise it's going to be very uncomfortable for you still having her there for the rest of the week - she doesn't sound very trustworthy. Does her son seem okay generally?

Ratfinkandbobo · 03/04/2015 18:32

My main concern is the 10 year old being dragged around Europe by his unstable mother. He is very vulnerable, ring children's services and speak to duty team, or nspcc for advice. Purely for the sake of this kid. Her problems are her own to sort, but the boy is a different matter. I'm so sorry you've been dragged into this crap and mad situation. I bet you'll never invite anyone to stay again.

bloodyteenagers · 03/04/2015 18:38

No way would I book a hotel for the drama queen tonight or any other night.

She has been rude from the moment she walked in the door. She has told op she doesn't even want to be there.. Fine, then she takes her drama elsewhere.

Eggynuff · 03/04/2015 18:52

She has probably gone out to arrange the next 'friend' to visit. Did she take her son with her?

Rainbunny · 03/04/2015 19:00

Hate to say it and I know this is going to be very hard to do OP but as others have suggested, just pack her things and have them ready and when she comes back don't let her in.

I feel a bit sorry for her, not because she seems like a decent person obviously she isn't but because I feel for anyone who is in dire straits. That's the problem, I'm sure you feel similar to me OP. You can't though, she is desperate and taking as much as she can from any person she can vaguely call a friend until she burns that bridge and moves on to the next. For the sake of her son there has to be an end to enabling her, even if means pushing her to a point where she has to stop wandering around and take a cold hard look at her situation and her options. Where is the father of her son in all this? Is he even an option for the son to stay with? This poor kid can't keep being dragged around Europe with her like this. Again though, you can't be the one to solve her obvious mental issues and life issues. I am hoping that there is some sort of family back in Sweden that her son can stay with, he needs stability desperately. What a mess!

FromMeToYou · 03/04/2015 19:05

You can't throw her out if her son is with her. Call Social Services or the police but please don't throw them out.

YouTheCat · 03/04/2015 19:05

So she's pregnant, already has a child and is having some kind of online thing with a bloke in Canada too? She just takes piss taking to a whole new level.

Don't let her stay. If she's getting money sent, I'd suggest to her she books into a b&b tonight and then gets herself tickets back to Sweden.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 03/04/2015 19:06

I don't think you can believe a word she says. Leave her stuff packed for her, outside. Her son is her responsibly (although it's a horrible situation for him).

FromMeToYou · 03/04/2015 19:11

I really can't believe people are saying a pregnant woman and 10 year old child should be presented with their bags on the doorstep on a rainy nearly dark cold April evening.

Or am I missing something?

The child is 10 years old.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/04/2015 19:16

FromMeToYou

"I really can't believe people are saying a pregnant woman and 10 year old child should be presented with their bags on the doorstep on a rainy nearly dark cold April evening."

I suspect that that is what she is banking on.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/04/2015 19:19

The fact she is pregnant and has another child with her doesn't make her a saint.

Far from it from the OP's description. She hardly knows the OP and is taking the piss totally. She is abusive.

OP, I really hope you can get someone to help you chuck this freeloading waste of space out. I would seriously consider asking the plod if she won't go.

Original poster

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 19:20

I don't think I would feel comfortable packing her bags, that would be taking it too far for me. The boy's father is in Sweden. He gave permission for them to be in Germany. The last woman she stayed with called the sons school who advised her he couldn't be removed. She made the woman sound like an interfering alcoholic but after this experience I suspect I'm not privy to the full story.

The online guy she was going to run off with earlier this year but then changed her mind after finding out she was pregnant. Now that she has decided to terminate she figures maybe she has a chance with him, but he has told her he has met someone and they are trying to make a go with it.

OP posts:

KatieKaye · 03/04/2015 19:21

It isn't raining here. It might not be raining where OP is either.
It isn't dark here either. Or even nearly dark
Touch of the dramatics?

From everything posted, this woman isn't short of money - so she can afford a hotel room. She certainly goes out enough.

I also think you would be well advised to pack her bags and present her with them on the doorstep. And change your locks once she is gone.

Balanced12 · 03/04/2015 19:21

Your child and the security of your home is your priority put her bags outside ask yourstraight talking friend to come and drink tea as morale support if you need to ignore knocks at the door. She sounds like a leech.

Original poster

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 19:22

She just called to say they are making their way home. My other friend is going to be here too so I'll update you later.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 03/04/2015 19:24

Frommetoyou, I would say you are missing the fact that this woman is massively taking the piss, and has clearly done the same to other people.

The welfare of the boy is why people are suggesting OP seeks police and social services advice NOW!

oddfodd · 03/04/2015 19:25

Have you decided what you're doing? Personally I'd tell her she has to go in the morning

KatieKaye · 03/04/2015 19:25

okay, so from that information you know she is lying to you and has probably removed her child from one country without the permission of his father and/or the school.

Doesn't that take it into a more serious league - like cross-border abduction? You need to get some advice on this - because it could have serious implications if criminal proceedings are brought and it is discovered that you knew the circumstances and did nothing. Plus, if she is as unstable and deceitful, the chances are the boys father only knows his son is missing and is frantic with worry.

FromMeToYou · 03/04/2015 19:28

I appreciate she's a walking disaster, cheeky, banking on other people putting her up etc etc etc.

But that doesn't change the fact she has a small child with her, small enough to be incredibly vulnerable yet old enough to understand the scary situation he could find himself in.

But I'm glad Lilylonglegs doesn't feel comfortable throwing them out.

Topseyt · 03/04/2015 19:28

OP, just a thought, but how do you know that the school in Germany have not reported the boy's absence to German police. Call 101 now, in case there is an alert out for him via Interpol.

FromMeToYou · 03/04/2015 19:31

I also suggested she contacts police or Social Services, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING THROW THEM OUT.

That is what I am objecting to!

And I have read the posts, she sounds like a complete piss taker etc etc.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 38 39