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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Hissy · 07/04/2015 14:15

definitely drop the cases to the friends house. wash your hands of this asap.

this 'holiday' business of the new victim is worrying me already

WellYesOfCourseYouAre · 07/04/2015 14:24

This is crazy. Take the case to the other friends now and have no more to do with her.

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 14:36

I believe the "holiday" story is a lie and also the clotting. I wish I had spoke about it in front of the nurse, as what a coincidence it would be that she has an illness that stops her from flying? What's sad is when I went to drop off the stuff the little boy shouted after me "auntie can I come with you" I'm guessing he was probably bored as he spent the whole evening pining for his mum and then when he was with her couldn't wait to leave.

OP posts:
Yellowbird54321 · 07/04/2015 14:37

"uh oh" indeed - OP this aint over yet!!

DrankSangriaInThePark · 07/04/2015 14:38

Has she said anything about schooling for the child in any country?

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 14:38

I can't take the caSe yet as I don't have the other frIends address. I'm sure when she is discharged and I'm nowhere to be found she will make her way there after which time I can take down the address.

OP posts:
Nettymaniaa · 07/04/2015 14:48

Take the case to the hospital and give it to the nurse alongside an explanation of why the case needs to be with the patient and withdraw. What if for some reason (unlikely) the hospital decide to ring social services. You do not want to be drawn in.

BaronessBomburst · 07/04/2015 14:49

I love Italy. I'd rather live there than in England.
Which part is she from, Lily ?

Nettymaniaa · 07/04/2015 14:50

They will try and discharge her to your address if that's what she tells them.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/04/2015 14:56

So today's drink is Lucozade.

forago · 07/04/2015 15:02

TAKE THE CASE TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!

HeyDuggee · 07/04/2015 15:08

But then there wouldn't be more drama! Stop telling the OP to be practical. Like you know, tell the Dr what she wrote on here when delivering the suitcase so the doctors might actually be warned she has a history of fibbing, may or may not be pregnant, etc

Lweji · 07/04/2015 15:13

She does not have a key and has never been in possession of a key.

That's what you think...

I bet she has made a copy when you weren't looking, using her child's playdough.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 07/04/2015 15:15

so if this is true and she is in hospital with a blood clot or whatever she is just encouraged to leave her there with her 10yr old son in a foreign country. Yes i have read the thread but really, if she is in hospital and this is what she has it's quite serious, the poor kids probably terrified at just being dumped again and especially at a hospital, sorry but i think that is horrible and i couldn't do it regardless of what i thought of the mother

Lilylonglegs · 07/04/2015 15:31

You are discharged but no one frogmarches you anywhere. Ive been kept in overnight and when I was discharged I took myself to the buss top and got on a bus home.

OP posts:
Lweji · 07/04/2015 15:35

It's not apparent that the visitor is that bad and she should arrange for a place for her son to stay with the hospital or SS.

The boy is a stranger to the OP as well (and vice versa) and I'm sure emergency foster care could be arranged if necessary.

I do feel sorry for the boy, in all of this, but it's not Lily's responsibility and she could end up with a lot more than she bargained for. Ultimately, she might have to hand in the boy to SS anyway.

merrymouse · 07/04/2015 15:42

I assume you are spending as much time discussing this with the close friend and/or her brother as on an anonymous forum?

Surely they would be in a better position to give you practical help and advice?

funnyface31 · 07/04/2015 16:27

I think it's all a load of bollocks, no way has she got a blood clot! That's just another excuse and the poor boy is yet again dumped!

This story swaps and changes from country to man/woman/illness . I've got a Masters and half way through a PHD and I'm confused of the shit OP has had.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 07/04/2015 16:54

Blimey, more shit. This story keeps on coming. Glad I'm not hung over.

Patapouf · 07/04/2015 16:55

This still isn't over! We'll need a second thread.

Mark my words, she'll try worming her way back.

Maryz · 07/04/2015 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skinoncustard · 07/04/2015 17:03

Sorry , I'm out
Getting kept in hospital with a nose bleed? Child ' dropped off ' at said hospital? A step tooooooooo far.
Getting more and more ridiculous ( if that's possible)

AspieAndNT · 07/04/2015 17:07

What a load of crap!! The hospital would not allow a child to stay on the ward.

Nettymaniaa · 07/04/2015 17:21

She may not get frogmarched but I think you know as well as we do that your doorstep is the destination. I wish you well. I'm out.

KatieKaye · 07/04/2015 17:24

Take the case to the hospital. Make it clear you are not a contact and that it is up to friend to make all her own arrangements.

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