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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Yarp · 07/04/2015 07:21

The OP does not strike me as very stressed.

She sounds pretty clued up, and more worried by her guests rudeness than the apparent welfare of her guests child

Chippednailvarnish · 07/04/2015 07:24

Akpeteshie is a homebrewed alcoholic spirit produced in Ghana and other West African nations by distilling palm wine or sugar cane juice.

There, you can all rest easy in the knowledge that there is a Ghanian drink to be consumed.

Loiner45 · 07/04/2015 07:56

Actually that last bit of detail makes the whole tale totally plausible IMO, I have some experience of the complexity of the lives of some members of the African diaspora. Country hopping within and beyond Europe is not as remarkable as some people on here seems to think. I have a lovely W African colleague whose family is easily as complicated as this.

Coconutty · 07/04/2015 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneEyedWilly · 07/04/2015 08:14

Shamelessly marking a place. I want to see how this turns out Easter Grin

BabyGanoush · 07/04/2015 08:14

A nosebleed?

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 07/04/2015 08:16

It's like a game of Consequences

pineappleshortbread · 07/04/2015 08:24

I have been lurking on this crazy thread and just wanted to stop to say that i work at a hospital and yes they do keep you overnight if you have visible chronic nosebleed. So if her nose was bleeding when she got to a and e they would have packed it and admitted especially if any of her observations (bp, heart rate, resp rate, temp ect) were abnormal.

I know it does seem crazy to keep people in with a nosebleed but it does happen you would be surprised how easy it is to get admitted.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/04/2015 08:35

I think the OP is playing a game of bingo of her own here...

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/04/2015 08:42

Chipped - Do keep up Chipped - I mentioned Akpeteshie several (hundred!) posts ago! We now, however, have Nigeria and Kenya to consider... Grin

Andanotherthing123 · 07/04/2015 08:59

I did post early doors on this thread and have been following it since but can someone remind me when OP is thinking chuck out day will be? Is it Thurs? I only ask as it's taking quite some effort to follow this thread and I'm really meant to parenting the DC.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 07/04/2015 09:13

You don't just get Italian citizenship because you marry an Italian.

Icimoi · 07/04/2015 09:17

DrankSangria, OP hasn't suggested that that is how the guest acquired Italian citizenship.

But I still don't understand why she has to pay for an abortion as she is an EU citizen.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 07/04/2015 09:19

She hadn't lived in Italy long enough to obtain it through naturalisation in her own right, which means living in Italy for at least 10 years, being selfsupporting financially and paying taxes.

NotNowBono · 07/04/2015 09:21

The marrieds boyfriend is a boyfriend and not a woman.

What happened to this bit? I was waiting for a twist that hasn't come. Yet

I'm completely baffled about how much of this is true, but I can't help hoping there isn't a 10 year old boy involved in it somewhere.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 07/04/2015 09:22

If that's all you don't understand ici, you're doing better than most of us.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 07/04/2015 09:23

Blimey, I missed the bit about the girlfriend being a boyfriend! Thai or Brazilian? 50/50 or phone a friend?

coconutpie · 07/04/2015 09:30

WTF. This thread just keeps on giving. Is she definitely in hospital? An X-ray when pregnant is serious.

LammilyDoll · 07/04/2015 09:38

On the subject of nosebleeds . . .
I got lots of nosebleeds when pregnant
My brother (not pregnant) has been admitted to hospital several times with severe nosebleeds

I hope that helps to clarify the matter Grin

Eggrique · 07/04/2015 09:46

I started on this thread, gave up, but have come back when it was still going for so long.
I missed the bit about shaving the baby's head. Would the HG think it culturally appropriate for the OP'S baby?

PrincessFiorimonde · 07/04/2015 09:51

No, I think she meant 'the married boyfriend is a boyfriend, not a woman'.

Bettercallsaul1 · 07/04/2015 09:57

ordinary - I think the OP got a lot of sympathy (and helpful suggestions) in the first part of this thread before it evolved into fantasy.

Thurlow · 07/04/2015 10:00

When's the book out?

glasgowlass · 07/04/2015 10:10

My head hurts trying to follow this. That's the problem with drip feeding, threads get messy & them become unrealistic/fantastical. I can understand wanting to change a few details but FFS If you change this many facts it merely becomes a tale of fiction.
OP, you're only option is to pack up & move house whilst she is hospitalised.

forago · 07/04/2015 10:13

So, let me get this straight, she has 3 men in her life:

Original Italian husband, who she met in Ghana, who is father of the 10y old. She moved with him to Italy Where is he now? Is she still married to him? Does he support the son?

Boyfriend who is Nigerian but living in Italy, has a wife not keen on the girlfriend. Is he completely out of the picture now?

Some other Canadian boyfriend, of Ghanaian heritage, who is in Canada. He is the father of the baby? Or is the Nigerian boyfriend?

How do you know her again?