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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 06/04/2015 14:44

Sometimes, both at once!

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/04/2015 14:46

Besides, Baby, we've already established that you're the OP's sock puppet! Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 06/04/2015 14:49

I'm grateful to this thread, its kept the kinky politician dreams at bay.

Lweji · 06/04/2015 14:52

Not that I have the strength to read the full thread, but it has to be a case of KTB, kick the bitch. She can then try to sort out her own life.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 06/04/2015 14:52

Is she trying to do a round the world trip on the cheap? At least you know she'll bugger off somewhere else in a few months.

Poor kid though, imagine being uprooted all the time Sad

HeyDuggee · 06/04/2015 14:58

I've had some friends from Ghana and they are overly polite and hospitable to friends. They can come across as rude and criticizing within their own family, but so can most families.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 06/04/2015 14:58

I think that boy is just way of getting money, the new baby will just be an atm too.

lertgush · 06/04/2015 15:13

If she is Ghanaian she will have had to get a visa to come to UK and will have had to prove she can support herself while here. So you don't need to worry whether she's got enough money and don't need to worry about lending her any

Or she might be a naturalised citizen of an EU country in which case she can live anywhere in the EU without having to prove anything...

BabyGanoush · 06/04/2015 15:17

Oh yes, forgot I wasa sockpuppet!

Duh Grin

DidoTheDodo · 06/04/2015 15:23

Anyone got Poland yet?

Andrewofgg · 06/04/2015 15:29

All right Lily - On Thursday evening tell her that you are going to help her pack her and the boy's bags. Don't take No for an answer. Tell her that she will be leaving the next day and you have to go out early, so she does too. Do not leave her room for argument. Ignore any waterworks.

mathanxiety · 06/04/2015 15:59

She is considering dumping the boy somewhere random? Not that you can just move to Canada...

Are there pools in Ghana? The kind you can have a pool party at, with Canadians and all?

mathanxiety · 06/04/2015 16:01

More to the point, is she one of the people trying to get me to add them to my contact list on Skype?

funnyface31 · 06/04/2015 16:07

Where did she live before Italy?

I thought I was on track then but, you threw me OP with 'she lived in Italy and Switzerland for 3 months'

LiegeAndLief · 06/04/2015 16:10

I'm not sure whether "are there pools in Ghana" was a serious question, but I used to live there as a child and even in the dark ages (1980s) miles from anywhere there was a pool. It would have been perfectly suitable for the occasional party.

As for the rest of the thread, I have nothing to offer.

KatieKaye · 06/04/2015 16:14

Does this woman do anything in the way of earning a living or does she just get men of many nationalities to pick up the tab in the country of the day/week/month? And when no man us available she just dumps herself on a handy female sucker friend?

Her lifestyle does not sound very stable for her son.
Has she stopped talking about an abortion?

Yellowbird54321 · 06/04/2015 16:23

Woah - I've only been away a couple of hours and have returned to this! Ghana / pool parties / dropped babies! Had actually forgotten about the potential abortion katie
What are your plans for the evening with her OP - is it to be another upstairs / downstairs scenario or has today's discussion cleared the air enough for you to spend some quality time with her? Smile

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 06/04/2015 16:31

This thread almost feels like an Ultimate MN bingo.

woolymum · 06/04/2015 16:35

i am a bit annoyed now.
if we had had some advance warning we could have got the country bingo cards (and drinks) sorted in andvance Hmm

mathanxiety · 06/04/2015 16:35

In the spirit of the thread (?) no, not a serious question. It seemed to me to be so strange a coincidence to have met a Canadian at a pool party in west Africa when her DS (the child of an Italian father?) was presumably about five and to have continued to skype him all these years through all the ups and downs of other relationships, etc.

Eggynuff · 06/04/2015 16:38

Lily you are starting to annoy me even more than your friend annoys you Grin

I feel like you are a guest in my house that has more than overstayed their welcome. It's so frustrating that she is still with you.

I did actually hide this thread but it came up in active convos and I succumbed to temptation to peek again. And there you still are, hanging around my laptop. Gah!! Wink

PringleLicker · 06/04/2015 16:38

Or she might be a naturalised citizen of an EU country in which case she can live anywhere in the EU without having to prove anything...

Ah yes of course. I was confused by the 'been in Italy and Switzerland for 3 months' but I've looked back and she was in Italy when 10 year old was two so you are right. I'll go back to my Southern Comfort Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 06/04/2015 16:53

Yes, the ibuprofen will have worn off now, time to make a serious dent in the Amaretto, now DD is away for the week.

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/04/2015 16:54

Yes, I was annoyed at the sudden appearance of Ghana, wooly - who was prepared for that, drinks-wise? I thought the OP was cheating a bit there.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 06/04/2015 16:57

She will have to have lived in Italy paying taxes for rather a long time to have become a naturalised Italian.

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