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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
crimsonh · 05/04/2015 03:43

Not sure if this has been mentioned here yet...

Let's imagine this baby is born here... what about the passport for the baby?Wouldn't it take months to get it sorted?
I would imagine this friend is aware of that.

Has she got her EHIC card with her (and her son's too!).

GettingEggyWithIt · 05/04/2015 03:48

She wants to have an abortion over here crimson.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 05/04/2015 05:40

I'm in Canada. Don't send her over here!

Loving the language lessons. Wondered how long it would be before the merde hit the fan. Still laughing at "trollen"

TheMaddHugger · 05/04/2015 05:58

Have got a headache just trying to sort this in my head Easter Confused

SouthWestmom · 05/04/2015 06:53

Je ne sais pas nothing about herrings. Quale parola e la same ? Wo ist Der friend all momento?

DrankSangriaInThePark · 05/04/2015 07:22

Do you now think she will definitely leave Lily? Or is she still talking about staying?

Fairy13 · 05/04/2015 07:59

Who wants to start a game of Europe bingo???

suzannecallmestan · 05/04/2015 08:39

she just sounds mad

suzannecallmestan · 05/04/2015 08:45

Seriously she sounds manic or psychotic, certainly more than merely flaky or eccentric

BabyGanoush · 05/04/2015 08:50

I think it is not at all unusual to have people like this stay, and having friends from lots of European countries etc. I have had my faur share of weirdo couch surfers in my 20s. And even some last year (a friend of an ex bf) who came and stayed with her son, they wanted to live in our house whilst we went on holiday. I said "no!"

Anyway, the things happening in the OP don't sound as farfetched to me as to some.

I think the woman sounds like she has mental health problems.

Butcan't think what you could do to help

Reddragon116 · 05/04/2015 08:53

Agree with Baby - I know a couple of ' flaky nomad ' types like this - one with a child who is ' home edded' and speaks 3/4 languages but not where he is sleeping that night morecoften than not.

suzannecallmestan · 05/04/2015 08:56

yes, I thought mental health problems as soon as I started reading the thread

feel really sorry for the sofa surfer but she sounds like a complete liability for anyone who gets lumbered with her :(

DieselSpillages · 05/04/2015 09:31

There's an idea show her this site and send her on her way ! www.couchsurfing.com/

woolymum · 05/04/2015 09:36

wow i found the end of the thread.

i have no idea what is going on.

is this a test run for an idea for a eurovision sitcom?

when do lordi show up?

Topseyt · 05/04/2015 09:52

I wondered if clarity might have dawned with a new day.

Alas, my optimism was unfounded. I await today's development with baited breath.

maliaki · 05/04/2015 10:22

OP you're a bit of a masochist; this woman is making you stressed and confused, you are counting down the days until she goes and in the meantime she is using you, trying to use possessions you've declined and-while dissing your house- ignoring all house rules regarding eating!

Why are you letting someone who is a liar and a user walk all over you and shit on your hospitality? Confused

Lilylonglegs · 05/04/2015 10:27

Today is d day people! I'll let u know how it goes. I already know not well.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 05/04/2015 10:29

With regards To being a masochist, at the same time she will be super nice and then use emotional blackmail. She called me mean yesterday when I wouldn't let her use my iPad.

OP posts:
maliaki · 05/04/2015 11:03

Lilly, look at what you've just written. Now imagine it's a DP you are talking about: one minute nice, the next being manipulative or rude, someone who lies and abuses your hospitality- is essentially a cockloger and a rude one at that. Would you put up with that behaviour?

Why would you let this woman act this way towards you? She's making your anxiety worse every moment she's here, so why aren't you tell her to leave? You're only hurting yourself...

scribblescrabble · 05/04/2015 11:07

I feel I've been all round Europe with you all but still haven't got a clue whats going on!!

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/04/2015 11:27

I still say poison the bread. None of us will tell on you.

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/04/2015 11:44

I can imagine the headlines now:

German/Swedish/Italian/Swiss woman found dead in dear friend's house.
May or may not have been pregnant.
Body discovered beside the breadbin.
POLICE BAFFLED

Anniegetyourgun · 05/04/2015 11:46

Sounds like Ms Couch-Surfer has been dotting all around Europe making friends "just in case" she needed somewhere to stay. And then abusing most of them!

All I can say is, lock up your iPad while she's there, make sure you know where it is at the time she leaves, and change the front door lock after she's gone. Oh, and change your phone number and email too if at all practicable! Don't bother moving house, you never know where she'll turn up next...

msgrinch · 05/04/2015 11:46

I'm completely sober now and still can't figure this out. Confused

eddielizzard · 05/04/2015 11:51

yes, i second hiding your valuables. shocking behaviour.

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