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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 04/04/2015 23:36

She sounds too nomadic to settle down to doing any work. She would have no time for it with all the international running around she does.

I'm glad I don't have to live this woman's life. I'm exhausted and dizzy just trying to get my head Easter Confused it from afar.

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 23:38

*Head around it from afar.

mathanxiety · 04/04/2015 23:39

OP how would you feel if it was your child who was being towed around Europe by his or her father, depending on the kindness (or whatever) of people whom he met while on holiday over the past few years for lodging, with the child away from school, living in a country where he/she didn't know how to call the police if some situation occurred that warranted police intervention, not in contact with any mandated reporters in case abuse were to occur (i.e. teachers in a school), relying on total strangers if the father's health was somehow to go tits up and he needed to go to hospital...

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 23:40

If this woman was my friend, I'd have told her quite plainly to, "Grow the fuck up"

You reap what you sow, it's time for her to start reaping.

mrsruffallo · 04/04/2015 23:42

math anxiety- I wouldn't call social services. She is moving the boy around a bit. Not ideal but it sounds like she is looking after him. Her life is a mess at the moment, but no need to inform the state.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:50

Mrs rufallo I too have met friends travelling who have stayed and it hasn't been a problem, even those I didn't know thaaaaat well, however this was before I had a child. My anxiety levels are through the roof I'm just getting stressed about the whole thing and the cheek of it all.

I have asked what time the flight is and talked about the route to the airport. She just told me how she got from the airport. I dont think it registered.

The boy was not in France. She met the lady she stayed with last night in France many years ago.

OP posts:
SouthWestmom · 04/04/2015 23:51

France? Mon Dieu!

mrsruffallo · 04/04/2015 23:53

Lily, if your anxiety is through the roof and it is affecting how you and your child are feeling that I agree with others on thids thread. Explain that you thought you were ready for visitors but it is too soon after the baby and she needs to leave tomorrow.

AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons · 04/04/2015 23:56

Drive her to a service station on the motorway the go to the loo. Except don't actually go to the loo. LEAVE. And enter the witness protection scheme.

Viviennemary · 04/04/2015 23:59

None of this is your problem. Refer her to a housing charity like Shelter. And they can sort her out with accommodation. I'd ask her to leave. She is doing nothing but complaining anyway.

catzpyjamas · 05/04/2015 00:00

So I posted back on page 7 last night and just tried to catch up. My head is now puggled Easter Confused
OP, I hope you get this rude woman on the next flight home.
Buona Notte a tutti.

mrsruffallo · 05/04/2015 00:02

PMSL Alpha

GettingEggyWithIt · 05/04/2015 00:05

noeuf Easter Grin
Maybe the OPs friend should come to France in time for Easter, she sounds like a flying bell end

MrsHooolie · 05/04/2015 00:10

So at the beginning of the thread you said you met her in 2009 and now you say you met her son when he was 2?Confused

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/04/2015 00:14

We've established that time travel is involved in this thread, Mrs Hooolie.

SouthWestmom · 05/04/2015 00:16

Oh now I want to post in lots of languages but I can't think of any.
Eggy, mais oui. C'est un bon plan. Je pense the Op deve comprare un biglietto fur Deutschland subbito. Or quelquechose.

Lilylonglegs · 05/04/2015 00:24

The boy was a toddler so must have been before 2009

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 05/04/2015 00:44

Tres bien, Noeuf! Mais, honnetement, est-ce-que vous penser que cette histoire est un hareng rouge?

NeedAnEasterEggForMyGiraffe · 05/04/2015 00:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/04/2015 00:50

*pensez!

CheerfulYank · 05/04/2015 02:07

I am so confused.

But sort of not.

Which worries me more.

Patapouf · 05/04/2015 02:24

Clairement il ya qqc là qui va pas. Unfortunately the word that springs to mind when I read this thread is the same in French Grin

Missymum6 · 05/04/2015 03:08

I know this post is crazy but at least its keeping me entertained while im awake with this bloody hip pain. I think op is slightly too trusting (and fooled easy) but def doesn't need this shit with a 8 month old!

GettingEggyWithIt · 05/04/2015 03:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GettingEggyWithIt · 05/04/2015 03:30

a propos of nothing the verb trollen has now entered the German language.

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