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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:07

Dranksangriapark because the money hasn't come so what else can she do but go back? I asked her what she would do if the ,only doesn't come and she said that it definitely would. When I pushed it and said but what if by chance he just doesn't she said she would go back and drag it out of him and then come back.

I do believe that she must have some money stashed although she is claiming to be dead broke. As cunning as she now appears to be why wouldn't she have put aside some of this monthly allowance she gets. Plus the fact she has 3 bank accounts, a fact I only found out when I asked her how would she withdraw the money when the limit is 250 a day. You don't have 3 empty bank accounts!

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 04/04/2015 23:07

Grin...now did she really meet this "friend" briefly in France? Or is the "friend" infact a hippo she met in Spain?

Her son is a daughter isn't she?

And this isn't today, it was yesterday....my brains about to explode Confused

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:08

Topseyt she met the friend she stayed with last night, in France. She was just on holiday.

OP posts:
Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 23:09

Keep up Topsy France was mentioned at least several minutes ago Grin
OP six days!! oh god it's worse than I remember - you can't put up with the drama that long can you? I'm not fed up of the sage at all Grin

Bettercallsaul1 · 04/04/2015 23:09

This isn't April 4th - it's actually April 1st!

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 23:11

So you have known her distantly for about 8 years? Is that right?

I didn't get that sort of impression over the rest of the thread. Maybe it is just me.

BigRedBall · 04/04/2015 23:11

This isn't 2015 it's 2010. This isn't happening. It's all a figment of our imagination.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 23:12

I called France!!!! woo Grin

Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 23:13

3 bank accounts! Confused

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:13

Yellow bird I having the alone time yesterday I really tried to look at it from a more positive angle, but when she came back all the positivity went out the window from the backhanded comment about the state of my house to trying to argue with me about why I won't let her use my iPad AGAIN and eating bread not in the dining room after I explicitly ask all food be eaten there, you are right 6 days is like eternity.

OP posts:
msgrinch · 04/04/2015 23:14

This is like inception.

SouthWestmom · 04/04/2015 23:15

So she was living in a house in Italy paid for by her partner, started an affair, moved in with new bloke, wide turned up, she went to Switzerland for three months, popped back to Italy and then came to the UK?
Ok, still can't see a need for embassies or social services - if you were really worried I'm sure you'd have said by now.
She sounds flaky and annoying. Just tell her she's been ridiculous and ask her what she plans to do, really.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:16

Yes 8 years. And I truly didn't think she could be this awful after the time we spent together in Italy. Perhaps now that I have a child my priorities have changed and I just can't take the bs . Perhaps before it would have been amusing.

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 04/04/2015 23:16

I would just poison the bread, OP - problem done and dusted.

mrsruffallo · 04/04/2015 23:16

I missed the uncle bit and I have read the whole bloody thread. Where did the uncle come in?

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:18

Noeuf in a nutshell that is it.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:18

MrSrufallo there is no uncle just a joke someone made

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 04/04/2015 23:21

Oh, thank you Lily, I thought I was losing it.

bananayellow · 04/04/2015 23:21

I believe the op too. And it is too soon to be talking abduction and ss. She's on a holiday to all extent and purposes. A few weeks down the line then yes the welfare of the boy should beinvestigated. The friend is full of hot air at the moment. They are all wishes which will come to nothing.

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 23:21

Ah, OK. Grin Fast moving thread. Too fast for me. Easter Wink

I think we are soon going to need a summit meeting of all European leaders at this rate, with the Canadian Prime Minister and representation from the USA thrown in too for good measure in case this loose cannon rocks up across the pond chasing random Canadian or US men she has never met before.Easter Grin

Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 23:22

I'm not really seeing the need for embassies and social services etc either. Honestly OP just decide which day you really want her to leave on, give her 24 hours notice and then don't budge from it then you must never ever invite her to stay again

Loopylala7 · 04/04/2015 23:22

I think her friend kicked her out because of her rude behaviour. I would make it plain that she has to go at the end of the week, certainly do not lend her money you don't have, especially when you can't be sure you'll get it back.

mrsruffallo · 04/04/2015 23:25

I used to often friends staying Lily- friends i met whilst travelling usually. You don't know people till they stay with you. Very awkward to ask her to leave early though- esp as she has her child with her. I am not sure i could do it especially as all the drama revolves around her- she is not actually hurting you in any way. I would however, talk about what our routine would be on the day she leaves and suggest she books the taxzi now as the cab station can get very busy.

KatieKaye · 04/04/2015 23:27

You missed out France, Nouef.
So far in three months this boy was living in Italy, on holiday in France, at school in Switzerland where he didn't understand a word anybody said and now he is sleeping on a floor somewhere in the UK. At the very least his education is suffering and he is lacking any stability.
Is the friends income solely hangouts from the various men in her life or does she find the spare half hour and actually work?

SuggestmeaUsername · 04/04/2015 23:36

she should get the plane back to where she came from and whoever is responsible over there can take care of her and her son