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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:38

The marrieds boyfriend is a boyfriend and not a woman. I am not ignoring posts about contacting the other parent. I have never met the guy let alone have his number and the boy is not at all neglectEd although I understand staying a friend's houses that you Don't know well could be considered so. I don't consider it to be a risk worth calling the police and embassy for.

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 04/04/2015 22:39

It's certainly getting curiouser and curiouser.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:40

Yes they came back tonight from the friend's house. It was a woman she met briefly in France who she kept in contact with. They aPparently begged her to stay another night, but she came back because she thought it was being rude to me????

She said " I thought your place was not in order but yours is paradise compared to hers."

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:43

She didn't know she was pregnant when she left Italy. She was in Switzerland for 3 months.

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 04/04/2015 22:44
Grin
msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:45

Hmm righto op

wannabestressfree · 04/04/2015 22:46
Easter Hmm
KatieKaye · 04/04/2015 22:47

You couldn't possibly make this up, could you?
Or could you?

Fromparistoberlin73 · 04/04/2015 22:48
Easter Biscuit
FarFromAnyRoad · 04/04/2015 22:49

OP. I can't take much more. Seriously. I'm old and tired and more than easily confused - so I'm just going to ask you what everyone else is just DYING to ask you.........
Is this all a big old load of Billy Bullshit or is there the merest hint of truth about it?

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:49

The story sounds so fricking weird because it is! I know you guys must be confused because I am too, and I know it seems I am drip feeding because there is so much to the story and so much that comes out every time we talk, and in my attempt to summarise it seems things that may be key could have been missed out.

Everyone has turned this into a child protection issue but it isn't a crime to be a flakey nomad.

My reinforcement came yesterday and she did not come back. We spoke again today and I still feel she is taking the piss. I did express this but she brushes it off. My reinforcement is coming back tomorrow and I am going to ask her to change her ticket as the arrangement is not working out and I have been made to feel uncomfortable in my own home

OP posts:
msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:52

You've been given so many suggestions and things you should do/could do and have ignored it all. It's no wonder everyone's like Shock Hmm Confused Confused

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:52

I wish this was all made up. I'm so stressed I can't even sleep. I will never ever ever let anyone stay in my house again!

OP posts:
Bettercallsaul1 · 04/04/2015 22:53

We've been made to feel uncomfortable in our own homes too. Grin

Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 22:53

France! Confused Grin I'm guessing they didn't beg her to stay Hmm When is she actually leaving yours OP? - Have to admit I've become a bit befuddled and have lost track somewhat.

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 22:55

It is very unusual to be a flakey nomad sofa hopping around Europe with a 10 year old boy, dossing down with people you don't even really know and it certainly DOES raise questions about his welfare - very possibly child protection issues.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 22:57

Missgrinch all the suggestions are with regards to the child protection issue which was not the original question and with which I am not concerned. In that case there would be loads of parents I could call the police on just because parents don't parent to my liking.

The other suggestions I definitely have taken on board. I see that most feel that it would not be unreasonable to kick her out and so I feel empowered to do it and at the same time they should not be homeless as the ticket back is flexible and they also have the place they stayed at last night to go to.

I will be broaching the subject tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
Starlightbright1 · 04/04/2015 22:57

Can I ask why you have allowed her back? She clearly has a list of people she is planning to use...You are just one of them.

She is not a friend.Obviously at 11pm with a 10 year old I wouldn't kick them out but to be honest I would say you need to leave first thing tomorrow.

Yellowbird54321 · 04/04/2015 22:57

Grin at We've been made to feel uncomfortable in our own homes too Grin OP I do actually believe you - it's just hard to keep track is all

KatieKaye · 04/04/2015 22:59

Oh, so you've changed your mind about her staying. First you wanted her to go immediately, then you didn't and now you want her to go at some point. And all in less than 36 hours.

Remind me why you posted on here in the first place?

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:59

Hello brick wall, this is head.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 23:00

I am off to bed, dazed and confused like many others....but as she's told you that is sending her some money which will arrive the day before she leaves (and which she is going to use for rent and a tx) why on earth would you think you can make her change the ticket that you yourself has said she has no intention of using?

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 23:00

Topseyt I have known her since the boy was a baby. I met him when he was 2 however we don't live in the same country but have kept in touch on and off via Skype and I visited her 2 years ago. We aren't close but I wouldn't say we are strangers.

Yellow bird 6 more days

Bettercallsaul I know everyone is fed up of this saga but your jokes and even scepticism is really lifting my spirits right now!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 04/04/2015 23:02

France?? Is France in on this too now? When did that happen?? ConfusedShock

Told you it wouldn't be long before I began to lose the plot!!Easter Grin

merrymouse · 04/04/2015 23:03

It is not a crime to be a flakey nomad. However, it is a child protection issue if a child is homeless or without financial resources because their parent is unreliable.

Flakey nomads look after children in communes or go travelling in caravans and perhaps they talk about chakras and practice reiki, but they still know where their next meal is coming from and where they will sleep.

They do not cart their children around Europe sleeping on stranger's floors with some half baked story about being pregnant and why they had to leave the last sofa they were living on.

If on the other hand this woman has resources and can look after this child where is your dilemma? just tell her to leave.