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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 19:14

She applied for something that allowed him to go to school. Then when she removed him she had to cancel it then take it back to the school to show that she was no longer resident.

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 19:15

They needed german where they were.

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:16

But she moved to Germany and had him in school?

Yeah ok..

OhWotIsItThisTime · 04/04/2015 19:16

Just be careful, which it sounds like you're doing. It sounds like she was trying to take you for a ride.

Personally, I think she's only saying abortion for attention or cash. She wouldn't get one that late as a tourist without a very good reason - ie her health or the baby's.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 19:17

I've just been thinking what I'd do in this situation. I'd tackle my friend head on about her return ticket any hesitation and I'd be demanding the child's fathers number. Friend or not. She is an adult she can sofa surf with strangers all she wants. That child would be remaining in my home until I got him back to safety. No child should be dragged round living from person to person. If the father wouldn't help then yes ss would be called. It's called being a responsible adult and you and your twat of a friend need to start it, as soon as yesterday.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 19:17

So it's Italy she's going back to?

School starts on Wednesday.

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 19:19

Then why on earth did she not go to an Italian speaking area of Switzerland. Language barrier problem solved. Confused

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:19

But the boy as born in Sweden, why not go to Sweden.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 19:20

Can we just recap?

Italian (??) friend, brings child, from Italy (???) to the UK, having lived briefly in Switzerland. The child's father has given her permission for all this (???) Another man, and father of unborn about to be aborted child is sending her money to the UK because she doesn't intend to go back to Italy (???) But she has a return ticket which the OP has seen and believes. But she's going to use the rent money from babyfather to pay for abortion and then rent in UK.

Have I got it right now?

And she moved in with our OP on Thursday, and hasn't been seen since yesterday afternoon when they had a row about the OP's baby and other stuff?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/04/2015 19:21

Get the father's number and tell him about the situation ASAP. And be firm in telling her she can't stay any longer with you - if necessary pretend you hve suddenly been called away to help with a sick relative - and get the cases packed. And get all keys back or change the locks.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:22

Ok, trying to work this out.

Boy was in Sweden, went Italy, went to Switzerland, back Italy, then Sweden to Germany, now in UK.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:23

Boy was born in Sweden*

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 19:23

Keep up Tali!

Sweden and Germany was a cunning ploy to hide identity....it was Italy and Switzerland.

I think....

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 19:24

Tali, I think the OP now seems to mean that they are Italian, although I admit to being totally confuddled now.

Don't think Sweden even features anymore. It was a red herring?? I am prepared to stand corrected now, but this thread is getting stranger and stranger by the minute.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:25

Sorry Drank. Its very confusing which bit is the right bit.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 19:25

Isn't it just? Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:26

I'm expecting more European countries to feature. We haven't had Spain yet.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 19:27

I call France! and Portugal.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 19:28

Dark sangria is right Italy and Switzerland are the only countries, and your recap is correct except boyfriend paid for a holiday and fully expected her to return however she is saying how can she go back when he has a woman in the house. I don't understand why he would agree to pay rent but she seems to be able to get men to do whatever she wants. I was there when she spoke to boyfriends grown up daughter to tell her to persuade boyfriend to let her stay in the UK for all the pain and suffering he has made her endure with the other woman now being in the house.

OP posts:
msgrinch · 04/04/2015 19:29

and you're going to now ask her to show you her return ticket or contact re father? Yes.

KatieKaye · 04/04/2015 19:31

Why would you put child who speaks Italian into a school where only German is spoken? An why did she move to a German-speaking part of Switzerland specifically to educate her son in a language he does not speak? And why did the father agree to this peculiar course of action.

this thread makes less and less sense as it goes on. And that is without taking into account the impossibility of applying for Swiss citizenship after a matter of weeks. And who goes on holiday with no plans for an abortion and then wakes up one morning soon after arrival and thinks "hey, I know! I'll have an abortion while I'm on holiday!"

this is one of the strangest threads I've ever read.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 19:31

Is she going back to Italy or is she planning to stay on your sofa for 3 months til she can claim benefits?

Tbh, she sounds like a con woman.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 19:32

Topsyet she went somewhere where she had a friend she could stay with. When she got here it turned out she met the woman briefly on a previous trip there and they kept in phone contact. I was quite surprised to find out she had gone there as she had never even mentioned possibly going there before, but now I know she went because she was no longer welcome in boyfriends house. She apparently didn't know she was pregnant when she left.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 04/04/2015 19:35

Tali, I am anticipating a complete tour of Europe.

We need Austria, Portugal, Netherlands, Norway, France, Greece, Malta. Anywhere really. Grin

Joking aside though, if this is true then there is still concern for the boy.

Lilylonglegs · 04/04/2015 19:36

Tali I am beginning to see that now. I don't think it is odd that she screenshotted the ticket. She also screenshotted me the hotel booking so I would know where she was. It's just an easy way to pass on info. I have no idea what she plans on doing as she is very vague but I have tried to ask and make it clear that a week is the limit.

OP posts:
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