Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Original poster

Another wedding AIBU....

240 replies

PBlaarth · 31/03/2015 17:58

Hello. I've seen these sort of posts on AIBU before, but obviously I'd like a personalised view on my situation.

Got an invite to an August wedding, hand delivered this morning, addressed to my husband, for the whole shindig. I haven't been invited. Not even as a 'plus one'. I don't know the couple, but we invited them to our evening do at our wedding last year (they didn't attend), so they know I exist.

I'm pissed off because I think it's rude and insulting. Bad etiquette.

I'm annoyed with my DH because he doesn't see why I'm so annoyed and offended. It's not like I'm his girlfriend of a few months....we're married with a small baby (gorgeous boy, born 10 weeks ago, love being a mum!!).

I started off by saying I'm not happy him going without me; ended up saying you're NOT going without me. We're a family and come as a package. I wouldn't go to a friend's wedding if they didn't invite my DH and DS. He said he'd have a word with them, see if they just 'forgot'. I don't want to go now anyway, and don't really want to have to spend the money on us all going, but AIBU?

Also, and this shouldn't be considered when replying, but...they have a wedding WEBSITE. Including pages such as Q&As, How we met, About us, Venue...etc etc and other such pretentious cuntery of the like I have never seen.....

thanks ladies and gents
xx

OP posts:

Original poster

PBlaarth · 02/04/2015 14:55

Hi, OP here. Been watching and reading, left a response on page 4 I believe.

I don't get this whole 'I don't want someone I don't know at my wedding' thing. When I got married last year, my DH invited his old friends from college/school that I'd never met, let alone their partners who were also invited and not known to us both. Same with my friends who DH hadn't met. He hadn't even met my dad - should I have not invited him?!

OP posts:

Writerwannabe83 · 02/04/2015 15:04

I think the point is that if neither the groom or bride have met the 'other half' of the couple then why invite them?

They are inviting a stranger to their wedding.

At the end of the day though it comes to costs.

Those can afford to invite people they don't know, will, and those who can't afford to, won't.

Sugarfreeriot · 02/04/2015 15:04

Perhaps they can't afford to have +1's. We've invivtted people and given them a +1 regardless of whether we've met them/how log they've been together. We even have people +1's not knowing if they have a partner but just in case.
But everyone is different and they might want a smaller gathering or not be able to afford a big affair.
I'd probably still let dh go...

ScarletFever · 02/04/2015 15:05

but for that case OP, you OR your DH knew them,

why would you want someone that NEITHER of you knew?

If you're having a big wedding with lots of people, no bother to inv a +1, however, if you are having a smaller wedding, for well, i dunno, maybe because you&groom want one, then why should you be forced to invite someone that neither the groom/bride know?

Original poster

PBlaarth · 02/04/2015 15:08

Sorry, I should have typed not known to either of us. Mummy brain. As I read it back I knew it didn't sound right but couldn't figure out why....

OP posts:

Lavenderice · 02/04/2015 15:20

No ringy, no bringy

How judgemental is that? Wow!

MissBattleaxe · 02/04/2015 15:56

I think the point is that if neither the groom or bride have met the 'other half' of the couple then why invite them?

Kindness? courtesy? to ensure they enjoy the day? Because you like the guest?

My DH invited a former colleague who had been a huge help to him in his career. I had not met her prior to our wedding day. She had to travel for five hours to get to the wedding. Neither of us knew her DH, but there's no way we would have told her he wasn't welcome. They made a weekend of it together and had a great time at our wedding.

We invited him because it was unthinkable not to and because she is nice and we wanted her to have a good time.

maninawomansworld · 02/04/2015 16:14

Interesting one.
I thing YAB a bit U to kick up a fuss. Weddings are expensive, the couple don't know you, you didn't invite them to your wedding so I see why they haven't invited you.

I just think this is one of those situations you're going to have to accept and if your DH wants to go then he should.

That said, if it was myself and my DW in this situation I wouldn't be going without her. I'd leave the kids with grandparents in a heartbeat but wouldn't go without DW!

daisychain01 · 03/04/2015 22:39

Sorry therealmarymillington I realised i rambled way off the point . Brain is slower than typing speed.

What I should have said was - maybe you'd want to go along to a wedding of people you don't know if your DP /DH is going, as it's nice to go along to the function together. But that depends on you POV because some people don't mind going to do's on their own. I don't, I'd much rather go with DP esp to a wedding, it feels weird going by myself.

MadgeFinn · 03/04/2015 23:49

you didn't invite them to your wedding so I see why they haven't invited you
The OP said she invited them to the night do, but they didn't come.

Madeyemoodysmum · 04/04/2015 08:25

I think they are rude so I understand your annoyance. However if your husband wants to go he should.
( I'd privately hope he would be on my side though in yr shoes but I would never stop him).

meditrina · 04/04/2015 08:32

"you didn't invite them to your wedding so I see why they haven't invited you"
"The OP said she invited them to the night do, but they didn't come."

The 'night do' isn't actually the wedding.

OVienna · 04/04/2015 09:52

When I read these threads I feel like I have a window into a parallel universe. OP definitely YANBU expecting them to invite both halves of a married. Bonkers. It's never been polite not to.

maliaki · 04/04/2015 10:03

The OP said she invited them to the night do, but they didn't come.

On wedding threads there's always a fair few mnetters who say the idea of two tier weddings offends them and they wouldn't count it as an invite. Perhaps the couple felt this way?

Who knows? OP what is your DH doing?

lylasmam2012 · 04/04/2015 10:24

Emmmmm every single wedding I've been to since my own in 2010 has had a wedding website. It's a normal done thing here in my different circle of friends.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10