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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why there has STILL been no donation?

999 replies

kewtogetin · 29/03/2015 20:05

This has probably been done, I know there was a long running thread about this very subject but I can't find it?
So, several months on I see Dax's parents have still not made the promised donation to Ronald McDonald hospice. On March 2nd they updated the Facebook page to say they works be making the donation 'very soon', but still nothing.
Am I the only one thinking they have no intention of donating any money out of the tens of thousands donated to them? That in fact they intend to keep it all and deny the very charity that provided them with so much support in the early weeks of their Childs life?
In fact, I don't think im the only one judging by the comments on the Facebook page.
I think they're hoping it will blow over and if they keep quiet long enough people will forget.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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trufflesnout · 09/04/2015 11:17

Exactly. And I think it could be successfully argued that they did commit fraud.

merrymouse · 09/04/2015 11:25

I don't think the money would be taxable from the recipient's point of view as it was given as a gift.

I think fund raising sites are tricky. In a sense it's a situation of caveat emptor - don't donate to organisations or people who aren't registered charities. On the other hand, people have always raised money for individuals to receive medical care. However, it's probably best to give money to people with whom you have a personal connection, not based on newspaper reports or 'viral' campaigns.

HoppityVoosh · 09/04/2015 11:25

Sorry shewept only just seen you were replying to me.

I know they're deleting comments, I didn't dispute that, that doesn't cancel out the fact some people don't want the money they donated to go to RMH though.

The going to visit America comment was because that's what one supporter said she wanted the baby to do with her money. I also said it was a ridiculous idea.

I think it's fraud too. I also think the people who want the family to keep their money are daft and just want to be involved in something.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 09/04/2015 11:25

Maybe posting on the Ronald McDonald House page is the way forward; the parents/friend involved can't delete the comments there, and if there are enough people in support of a donation, then they will have to respond by either donating, or being transparent and saying the money is no longer available.

shewept · 09/04/2015 11:38

I think (I am not an expert, so its just my thinking) that it could be fraud. Because they asked for money for medical bills, before there was any reason to think they weren't covered. They asked money for equipment, accommodation etc that the charity paid for. Then TD asked for money for baby stuff for home for Dax, which they had already bought. He also asked for money for flights for the family, even though the family weren't planning on going (TD had just assumed) .

Its seems like a lot of asking for money under false pretenses.

FWIW I don't think it started as a scam. I think TD saw the Publicity that the Alan Barnes appeal created. I think he saw it as a win win situation. He also knew that people would donate more if he said he was raising money for medical expenses and tried to make sure it made lots of money for maximum publicity. I think he thought it would take longer to sort the insurance claim and has been attempting to cover themselves since, I think daxs parents got roped and became greedy. Because it became apparent they didn't need the money, they offered it to charity assuming that would be the end of it. Except people aren't letting it go.

The only reason they would treat people, who want a refund, so badly is because they are backed into a corner. Which would suggest it spent it. If it was me and this was all genuine, I would be more than happy to refund people, since the actual reason a lot people donated (ie the medical bills) was never an issue. Also I would have donated it asap.

I think the whole situation is a mix of greed, publicity seeking and panic.

LilMissSunshine9 · 09/04/2015 11:42

I am glad that through peer pressure they finally stopped accepting money otherwise who knows how much would have been raised - enough for a deposit on a house?

Additionally, TD did say in a post that it was just meant to be local and that the locals had collected £600 - hardly very generous and surely their paretns would of dug in much deeper to help or the parents could of sold their car or other assets if it came to it...

shewept · 09/04/2015 11:54

hoppity I agree to a point. However I am dubious about the amount of the general public that (having seen how much this charity did to help this couple) would prefer these people to keep the money for future flights to new York, savings for dax than it go to a charity that helps prem babies.

I am also dubious about a couple that prefer to keep the money rather than help out a charity that was so generous to them and other parents in the same situation, having experienced it themselves.

Maybe I am dubious just because the rest has been so dodgy. But I just don't see most people wanting them to keep it, after following the story about how much the charity helped them.

I am also surprised by how little the local area seemed to raise. My pils have just moved near Skegness. I may take a trip over. According to TD/ the poster who knows them all, Mumsnet and this thread is the talk of the town. I would love to hear what people are saying there and the reason they managed to raise so little.

I am still laughing at the thought of Skegness all sat discussing this thread. I am sure that never happened, but would be hilarious if it was true Grin

OldFarticus · 09/04/2015 12:24

*She" my grandparents live near there. It's pretty rural, nothing much going on and generally low wages. Makes me wonder whether the national campaign balloooned and raised much more than they had anticipated.

I wonder whether we could apply some pressure by all posting on RM's facebook page?

A good friend of mine spent nearly a year in a RM house and has since fundraised for them. They are such a great charity and I feel embarrassed and ashamed that these people obviously think what they have done is fair enough. Sad

youarekiddingme · 09/04/2015 12:25

I think that person posting on FB page is brilliant Grin (KN)
She/he has the right amount of PA tone to show she thinks they won't do it but whilst saying how delighted everyone is that they are going to!

spudholes · 09/04/2015 12:30

Please can everyone on this thread mention the donation on the Rm facebook page? This would be a great step. Here is the page www.facebook.com/RMHNewYork?fref=ts Thank you!

TheFairyCaravan · 09/04/2015 12:39

TD set the fundraising up before Alan Barnes was attacked and his fundraising was started.

I don't think it started as a scam but it soon turned in to one. As soon as the insurance confirmed pay out the money raising should have stopped. They already had £5k in the PayPal account by then on top of what had been donated to the GoFundme and around Skegness. At that point all the money should have been offered back or donated to the RMH.

I bet there is about £2.50 left.

Original poster
kewtogetin · 09/04/2015 12:44

I wonder how much panicking is going on in that household right now.....

OP posts:
HoppityVoosh · 09/04/2015 12:55

Agree with you there shewept. I do think there is a fair few people who still think they're all god's gift and can do no wrong.

DancingDays · 09/04/2015 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DancingDays · 09/04/2015 13:08

Oops too many 'Justs' in there.

Scambuster3 · 09/04/2015 13:41

The Gazette shows bankrupts, if they try that angle.

MamainMilan · 09/04/2015 14:34

I've just watched the first few minutes of the This Morning interview for the first time.

It's hard to watch, isn't it?

I seriously hope they do the right thing without further delay. This will follow them for years.

I can't help feeling a smidge sorry for the mother. This probably isn't how she wanted to spend the first few months of her precious baby's life.

What a bloody mess.

ScotsWhaHae · 09/04/2015 14:37

Is it on YouTube m

ScamBuster1 · 09/04/2015 14:46

Pftt to the suggestion by TD that this started as a little local fundraiser that got out of hand. Soon after Lee announced Dax's arrival, TD posted Tuesday 2:26am 'lets start a collection' by 9:42 he had already emailed the New York Times. Also, the story didn't happen to appear in DM of it's own accord. Someone must have emailed them

To wonder why there has STILL been no donation?
To wonder why there has STILL been no donation?
leccybill · 09/04/2015 15:58

My overriding thoughts when watching the TM interview was how much I felt sorry for the mum. He came across as very domineering. She barely spoke.

wooldonor · 09/04/2015 17:32

Housebot - thanks for the screenshot of the KN post on the RMH NY page, I can't see it there now, has it been deleted or am I just not looking in the right place?

I'm really surprised at how few likes that page has, less than 4,000, I would have expected 10 times that number, I thought the houses were a really big deal.

LittleGreyCar · 09/04/2015 17:53

Does anyone know how much was raised? The only thing I can find is the fundraising page which is sitting at £11,890. I thought there was more than that raised.

passmethewineplease · 09/04/2015 17:59

Wooldonor the official RM page as in the general one has 726k likes. Smile

HouseBot · 09/04/2015 18:00

Yes oddly the message I posted does seem to have been removed - although a couple more along the same lines have been added. Odd.

ScamBuster1 · 09/04/2015 18:00

There was also around £5,000 that went directly into Katie's PayPal account, then the money raised locally, but that didn't seem to be very much

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