DH putting his image before baby's comfort

[unodostres]

I know this isn't really a big deal, but I want to figure out if IABU to be a bit annoyed at DH or is it just pg hormones?
PFB due imminently and we hadn't got a sling. I'd read loads of reviews and really wanted to get an Amawrap as it sounds great to use and comfortable and comforting for baby.
However, yesterday DH said he'd point blank refuse to carry baby in a wrap style sling because it's not "manly" enough and would only be seen wearing baby in a black, rucksack style carrier with straps etc. (Wasn't even joking one bit!)
So I ordered a Baby Bjorn and didn't mind at the time but now feel and as I've read reviews and looked at pics and just don't think it sounds or looks as comfy for baby, and we can't afford to buy a wrap style sling as well so that's it now. And I'm partly annoyed at myself for agreeing to the Bjorn when actually DH works so much I'll be the one carrying baby anyway.
AIBU to think that DH is actually a bit childish?

On the subject of babywearing coats, I still use my maternity coat with dd when she's in the wrap - it's big enough to close around her with her head poking out of the top IYSWIM. Just an idea. It helps that I put on a whopping 6 stone with dd so the jacket is huge

I think your DH is entitled to an opinion on how he'll look with the sling etc - I would say that though, I don't like girly stuff so we have a black buggy and a big courier bag in place of a changing bag. Can't do much about the weans who are like magpies for pinky glittery shite.

"you can always get a pre loved one"
Second hand? is there a place to get ones that people didn't like?

"sling library usually run by NCT
boil head, pull toenails and rusty nails spring to mind...

why does anything to do with slings or breastfeeding always end up being so effing twee?

I had a hana wrap for when dd was little which was great but as soon as she was big enough to try to turn round, she wouldn't stay in it any more. We now use a bjorn, which dh likes too. Dd seems fine in it because she can face out.

Definitely look for a sling library. The first type I tried (can't remember the make) was a very thick material and I nearly boiled. And I absolutely couldn't get on with ring slings.

I cannot think of anything more manly than a man carrying his own baby that he has fathered.

Except, perhaps, a man caring for and nurturing a child he didn't father, but has accepted as his own.

• HazleNutt Sun 29-Mar-15 08:52:2

i wish I could put up a pic of DH carrying ours in a sling, the women that swooned and ooh and ahhhed

Putting, same here, DH looked bloody great with newborn DS in his Moby wrap.

gladys baby's due in less than two weeks, so it might very well be too warm to carry him in the first few months...

As I said ds was born this week. I took him to Spain in June is a bijorn not to hot at all.

You might well find that you don't like the wrap either. I'd imagined using a wrap - I loved the idea - but just didn't get on with it at all - too much faff and the ends dangle on the ground and you tread on them and then by the time you are actually ready, the baby is having a wild frenzied shriek about being put down for whole MINUTES while you wrapped yourself in this ridiculously long piece of fabric (well, my baby did) and then just as you finally get them in, you realise that the fabric is twisted in JUST the wrong position and you can either take the baby out and start again or put up with feeling like someone is punching you very softly but very persistently in the kidneys all day.

Honestly by the time I'd wrapped and rewrapped and adjusted the bloody thing I was ready to use it to garrotte whoever invented it.

I love my Connecta. And I like the Baby Bjorn too, so ner to the Bjorn-haters (the most recent ones are not crotch-dangly).

I would return the BB and go to your local sling library and borrow a few to see which you like most. My sling library has a weighted dolly you can practice with!

For what it's worth, I have three. I hated the Moby, could never be bothered with all the tying. I loved my caboo (a sort of a half way house between a big bit of fabric and a baby Bjorn) but DD needed head support as a newborn and she hated her head being tucked inside it. She loves the Baby Bjorn and I can tolerate it so that's the one we use all the time. Wait and see how you go when DC is here.

i dont know what our sling was, i got it free, and it was handy for hols at some points, we used back pack, push chair etc and sling. all good to have in the arsenal

We (DH and me) used a Karime. In fact both kids spent almost all our waking hours in them, and as it was so tramatic when it was being washed we got a second one for DC2. DH never had a problem wearing it, he did get stopped a lot especially by grannies in Tescos who wanted a coo.

We did get a second hand Baby bjorn as well, but neither of us found it comfy, so it wa never used. I also liked the fact that with a wrap you could leave DC in a babygro, in sling under your (bigish) coat and not bother with putting coats on them. Also, if they were alseep when you arrived wherever, you could just take your coat off without disturbing them.

Would recommend Kari-me over Bjorn unreservedly (never tried another wrap sling).

Oh, and send the pushchair back, we didn't use it until DC1 was about 9 months old when she could have gone in a stroller. You can get black wrap slings.

Rest assured, if your partner won't do X because it isn't 'manly' enough, he is a dick.

My husband's a soldier. He looked askance at a wrap sling. So I bought a Khaki coloured manduca sling. Husband totally happy to wear it. He complained that unlike military webbing it didn't have enough pouches - so not only was he happy to wear it but he was suggesting design improvements.

I prefer a wrap sling as it's more versatile and easier to keep clean, in your position I would send the Bjorn back and get a wrap. DP can carry baby, and then when his arms are tired enough, he'll ask to borrow your amazing sling, or buy his own man style one.

A comfortable sling was essential for me, I am disabled and having DD snuggled up against me without too much strap pressure on my shoulders was important.

Be aware that not all babies like slings. If I hadn't have had a pushchair I couldn't have left the house except in the car, as DD hated the sling.

I loved my amawrap (I think it was £20 new on ebay?). It lived in the bottom of my changing bag and came to the rescue many times when I forgot the pram adaptors/ packed the shooping onto.of the pram etc etc. You can't roll up a bjorn or use it as an emergency blanket (and much more importantly read up about the hip alignment thing).

DH was more than happy to wear it so long as I did the wrapping.
Yes. Women will swoon and cluck, you will become invisible...

Yy to what pallandro said about being able to throw a coat over a wrap sling. I used to wear mine with a vest top underneath so I could feed without having to untie it, then put a loose cardi and/or coat over the top as needed. I'd often wear it all day, popping DS in and out as needed.

I don't like the way baby bjorns hold the baby, they look a bit unnatural just hanging off the front of their parents. The carry on an ergo, manduca or connecta seems much more natural.

It's not necessary to have a sling at all.

I had a baby bjorn one, and didn't much like it. I'm not a sling person. I don't like carrying babies on my back rucksack style either because they pull my hair

No way would DH have worn it. He thought he was a thoroughly modern man for pushing a pushchair.

I didn't have any issues with wearing a coat over my babybjorn, not sure why the type of sling would make a difference? Both dh and I wore our bb lots, it worked well for us with no problems. I had a few friends with stretchy type slings and didn't like the look of them (to me they seemed a bit fiddly compared with the two pops of the bb) but I don't think that there was quite the same plethora of choice back then, and think that being able to try out a few seems ideal.

DH doesn't like Amawrap either. I use it about the flat and we also have a Baby Bjorn.

Sorry YABU. Your DH is not putting his image before your PFB (what an awful thing to say).

Why dont you buy a 2nd hand wrap on eBay? I sold mine in mint condition. Also can't you return the Bjorn?

Oh and I had both, karimi and bjorn and they had two very uses. They're teo very differebt carriers.