To wish more people would consider adoption

[Kittykatmary]

I'm new to mumsnet and this is my first thread.

My family background, I have 5 children. DD1 is 16 is bio. Ds1 15 adopted. Ds2 15 is bio. Dd 9 bio. Dd 8 adopted.

I have always wanted a big family, and dh and I have had to have IVf twice as we could not conceive our last two bio children naturally.

Their is so many children that need adopting . Aibu to hope that more people could consider adoption.

Sorry but there are quite a lot of inconsistencies in your premise.

Firstly, not everyone wants a big family. DH and I certainly didn't, for financial reasons and because we are both from big families and didn't particularly enjoy it.

Secondly, you have had 3 bio children, including 2 through IVF, so you clearly understand how important it is for some people to have children that are theirs/experience pregnancy and birth. If you didn't have problems with fertility, would you honestly have adopted?

And thirdly, you gloss over how long and grueling a process it is to adopt. I had always considered it and envisioned that I would look into it more seriously at some point, until I saw 2 colleagues and their partners both go through the process, and it totally put me off. The starting point for both of them (different councils) seemed to be 'we don't think you would be good potential parents, now prove us wrong'.
I can easily see why someone would prefer to have the stresses and strains of fertility treatment over and above going through the intense scrutiny of the adoption process.

My DH and I are approved adopters looking to be matched with a child. There are considerably less child being given Adoption Orders at the moment and so many children have been put into Foster Care. This is going to go so wrong. Our Social Workers says this is of course not the best thing for children who need to be adopted. So there are many more potential adopters out there than children at the moment.

Are there still barriers to white familes adopting non white kids? and also do gay couples face barriers as well??

Not at all BreakingDad77.

I went to an 'adoption picnic' last year and out of about 10 families there at least two were gay and there was a real ethnic mix (which considering where we live in not insignificant - largely white british area)

DH and I are foster carers, and the whole process was long, hard and intrusive. I dread to think what it's like to adopt.

I think adoption and fostering are very personal things and no one should be encouraged to consider it. Our local authority run recruitment days where we are supposed to encourage potential carers to sign up. I always refuse, I'm more than happy to talk about my experiences, support carers and help where needed, but I'm not encouraging anyone to do it.

It's hard, and I think you have to be a certain sort of person (I can't really find the words to say what I really mean there, I hope you all know what I mean). I think I'm beginning to realise I'm not that sort of person - having a huge wobble at the moment, I just don't think I'm cut out for it anymore