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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My relative wants me to vote by proxy for a party I hate

151 replies

redrose80 · 27/03/2015 17:38

I've namechanged in case she's on here

Sister in Law currently abroad. has asked me to vote for her by proxy.

She wants me to vote Tory.

I am voting Labour.

Our whole family are and always have been Labour.

I'm shocked! I think it's the influence of where she currently is and her foreign partner (very conservative country)

I do not want to go against her wishes but I'm really not happy about it.

DH said I should and that she wouldn't know.

I honestly cannot believe it!

OP posts:
frikadela01 · 27/03/2015 17:39

Just tell her you can't do it for her.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/03/2015 17:40

Decline - if she gave a toss she'd do it herself

RoosterCogburnIsInTheJakes · 27/03/2015 17:41

Um, it's not your choice.
She's not asking you to agree with or endorse her political views. She's entrusting you to uphold her right to vote for the party she has chosen.

If you are not happy to do so you need to tell her so she can get someone else do do it for her.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 27/03/2015 17:41

Is this serious? Your sil, who doesn't live in this country, wants you to vote for the Tories, when she has no say now she lives abroad?? How are you even considering this? Vote Labour, it's the only sane vote in this election anymore.

BlueCheeseandChocolate · 27/03/2015 17:42

You absolutely cannot do a proxy vote and vote against the person's wishes- that would be an appalling breach for trust.

If you can't bring yourself to vote as she asks you must tell her and polite decline.

Original poster
redrose80 · 27/03/2015 17:42

She has lived abroad for about 5 years. She is still a British citizen. According to her she has checked with the British govt (not sure which dept) and she can still vote.
DH is absolutely furious about it and cannot stand her at all.

OP posts:
Discounted · 27/03/2015 17:43

Tell her she needs a postal vote. You really can't vote against her wishes, that makes a mockery of democracy (and it doesn't need any help!)

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 27/03/2015 17:43

Sorry, misread. Her vote, but still don't agree she should be able to cote when she doesn't live here anymore. However that's not the point. Just do as she wants.. I guess...

Floisme · 27/03/2015 17:43

I'd ask her to find someone else.

Original poster
redrose80 · 27/03/2015 17:44

I have to do it. It will cause so much trouble for my family if I refuse to vote for her, even if we all disagree with her choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
redrose80 · 27/03/2015 17:44

She has refused to allow us to visit her and her daughters in the past when we have disagreed with her on things.

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 27/03/2015 17:46

Tell her you can't do it. Advise her to contact her local conservative party and they can nominate an activist to do it for her. At least that way no one has to go against their principles. Technically the Tory candidate can do it for her but they will be a bit busy on election day Grin

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 17:46

itsme well if she's still entitled to vote by proxy then she does have a say, doesn't she? Confused

I'm not sure how this works though - how is it decided whether or not you are still eligible to vote, even if you live abroad? can all British citizens vote in all general elections even if they don't live here?

Surely you have to be on the electoral register and you can only do that is you keep a property in the UK and pay council tax, etc even if you don't live in it? Confused

TheAssassinsGuild · 27/03/2015 17:47

If she is legally entitled to vote then she is entitled to request a proxy. If you are going to act as her proxy, you must uphold her wishes. You cannot do otherwise. If you are unhappy acting as her proxy, then you need to ask her to choose someone else.

Looks like she can vote, even though she lives abroad:

www.aboutmyvote.co.uk/register-to-vote/british-citizens-living-abroad

EeyoresTail · 27/03/2015 17:47

Where is her voting card being sent to if she lives abroad?
Or are you saying that you are being told to use your voting card to vote on her behalf?

LaurieFairyCake · 27/03/2015 17:48

She can get a postal vote if it's so important to her

You don't need to do anything

richthegreatcornholio · 27/03/2015 17:49

Vote Labour, it's the only sane vote in this election anymore

If you're a complete idiot that is.

Floisme · 27/03/2015 17:50

In that case I'd let your husband sort it out - I assume she's his sister?

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 17:50

Obviously you cannot agree to voting on her behalf if it means going against your principles, that would be like her expecting you to handle and cook meat for her knowing you are vegetarian. You would not be being unreasonable to refuse but she's also being very naive and trusting to ask you if she knows you vote Labour anyway!

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/03/2015 17:50

Just say you can't do it.

quesadillas · 27/03/2015 17:50

If you've agreed to be her proxy, you have to respect her wishes. If you feel you aren't able to do that, no matter what trouble it will cause in the family, you have to tell her to find somebody else or do a postal vote.

Fairylea · 27/03/2015 17:52

I'd say I'd do it and vote labour for her BlushBlushGrin

WayfaringStranger · 27/03/2015 17:53

YANBU. I'm on holiday during the general election and I have asked my sister to vote by proxy. I understood that you were meant to ask someone who you believed have a similar political affiliation.

DelizaPoldark · 27/03/2015 17:54

I am abroad - I asked for a postal vote. It is perfectly simple.

Original poster
redrose80 · 27/03/2015 17:55

She says she trusts me???

Have told inlaws. They agree with DH.

OP posts:
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