My 17 year old son has bought plane tickets to texas in America to meet a girl he met online, he is from scotland, I really need advice please.

[scottishmother]

He has made his mind up to go, to be honest I thought he would have saved up more money but he has sprung it on me and is going in 2 weeks time!! I have asked him things and he has told me, and it seems fine, but he does not like me to ask him anything as he thinks it is invading his privacy lol. He has been very secretive, and this is not helping my worrying, I have said to him I will not let him out the door without him giving me a address and letting me speak to the girl who is 2 years older than him first. I need advice as to what to do please as I am going out of my mind.

Yes, you should ask to Skype with the girl and whomever she lives with.

I feel for you op, tough situation indeed. I guess he can't travel anywhere if his passport was lost or misplaced.....

Oh yes...his passport! Where could it be?

Erm...wherever you choose to put it.

NO WAY would I let my son do this. Or my daughter.

I agree that you need to know much more information about this girl, including seeing her face to face on a Facetime or something similar before he is allowed to go. If you have any doubts at all he cannot go.

I think if he does go, you need him to make contingency plans for what he will do if things go wrong while he is there. How he will get home, where he will stay and so on.

I made friends when I was a teenager online. I ran into some fakes but they were easily detected. For the most part people turned out to be genuinely who they said they were and are still friends whom I have met in person. So it isn't all bad.

Ultimately as he is under 18 the decision is yours. Can he get a refund on the tickets and wait until he is older?

Hell no.

"She" could be anyone. Does he understand that? Even if she is a 19yo girl that doesn't mean she's a goodie.

Whereabout in Texas? I agree with getting hold of his passport. You poor thing though - I'd be tearing my hair out!

He says he has been speaking to her on Skype ect for nearly 2 years now, I have told him he is not aloud out the door unless I speak to her in the phone and on Skype and I want her address, I was hoping it would take ages for him to save and by then he might have changed his mind, he spends his days in his room by himself , i do feel sorry for him and we do want to move from the area we live as he was bullied here for a long time, he seems to really want to do this as he has sold some of his stuff and saved money for the ticket, I want to support him and I do not want to ruin his plans, and to be honest I can not really stop him can I. He is planning to stay with her for. 3 months, if something goes wrong he can change his plane tickets and come home early.

I would be wary personally, get his passport. If anything (and I know this sounds bad) you can use it as leverage to get more information out of him about this girl. Has he booked return flights?

Stay with her for three months? With what money? Is three months the maximum he can stay on an ESTA?

He sounds very unhappy. I hope you can find a good solution soon.

Fort Worth texas

Does he have his passport? To get into the US he'll need to have applied for a ESTA online using his passport number. Without that he won't be even getting on the plane.

3 months is as long as you can stay with his visa, I have told him I want to Skype her, speak on the phone in the next few days or he is not going.he was not going to take Much money with him as she is working and said she would pay for everything, but I am not happy about that and I said I would send him £50 a week toward his upkeep.

I live in Texas...whereabouts is he planning to head to? If he gets here, and finds all is not well, where will he go? What's his back-up plan? How will he get around, as there are no trains, very few buses and you really do need a car to get anywhere around here. Some areas are incredibly remote with little or no phone coverage. Does he have an American cell phone? I don't think it's a wise idea to just up sticks and fly 6,000 miles to meet someone he met on the internet. He's still only 17, clearly loved up and very vulnerable. Do all you can to make him see why you are concerned and find out more about this girl before he makes the trip.

He has booked return flights.

Should I demand to speak to her parents also?

OP, I think you sound a bit too calm about this, seriously.

Hide his passport.

Even tho she has her own house and car ect?

She's going to pay for everything? This really sounds very odd and I would not be happy with it at all. I think I would be tempted to go down the 'missing passport' route as well.

At 19?

A 19 year old with her own house? Is he absolutely sure? Kids don't leave full-time school til 18 over here...

Her place is in Fort Worth , it makes me feel sick thinking about it but he seems determined. My boyfriend does not seem to have a problem with it and it's bothering me a lot.

Wtf are you sending him money for his keep for? That's just condoning the situation. If he's old enough to leave home and move to Texas, he's old enough to pay for it himself. I'd leave him to it tbh. He'll be home soon enough.

Although I would probably be taking his passport a walk to the nearest canal too...

You really need to consider your options very carefully here.

Definitely insist on speaking to her & her family, assuming she is living with them.

3 months is a ridiculously long time too. I hate to be a harbinger of doom, but a former colleague of mine did more or less exactly the same thing...and came back with a wife in tow at 18.

It didn't last.

Does she live with parents even?

Or you could say, I will come with you then. Just for the first week until I am comfortable that you are ok and happy.