Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 17 year old son has bought plane tickets to texas in America to meet a girl he met online, he is from scotland, I really need advice please.

390 replies

scottishmother · 26/03/2015 21:58

He has made his mind up to go, to be honest I thought he would have saved up more money but he has sprung it on me and is going in 2 weeks time!! I have asked him things and he has told me, and it seems fine, but he does not like me to ask him anything as he thinks it is invading his privacy lol. He has been very secretive, and this is not helping my worrying, I have said to him I will not let him out the door without him giving me a address and letting me speak to the girl who is 2 years older than him first. I need advice as to what to do please as I am going out of my mind.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 26/03/2015 22:37

TBH even with an ESTA if he rocks up saying he's planning to spend three months with his teenage not-quite-girlfriend and a hundred dollars in his pocket they will laugh and put him back on the plane.

paddyclampo · 26/03/2015 22:38

A 19 year old with her own house?!

Footle · 26/03/2015 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarletforya · 26/03/2015 22:41

She is 19 and says she has her own house? Haven't you ever watched Catfish OP? She's probably a hairy 50 year old called Mike.

Original poster
scottishmother · 26/03/2015 22:43

I have just found out, that the girl lives in a property owned by her parents , a separate property on her parents property, if you know what I mean, she does not have to pay rent and she works hence why she doesn't mind paying for the food ect. I have told my son I want to speak to her parents but I do not know if that is possible as they are Mexican but the daughter grew up in Texas.this makes me feel slightly better.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 26/03/2015 22:43

Didn't your ds's passport fall into the shredder?

Original poster
scottishmother · 26/03/2015 22:43

My son speak to her on Skype all the time he is hardly that daft lol

OP posts:
chocomochi · 26/03/2015 22:44

Omg. I would be freaking out. At 17, he isn't an adult and is still your responsibility. I would seriously do what OP and take away his passport. Can't believe a 19 year old girl owns her own house either.

You don't know who she is, what she's like, where she lives or even who she says she is! And I would definitely increase my concerns if they won't even let you skype them.

Original poster
scottishmother · 26/03/2015 22:45

If I had a passport I would fly out with him but I do not have a passport.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 26/03/2015 22:46

I saw a case on TV where a young man was lured abroad like that and killed. It all sounds very suspicious to me.

TRexingInAsda · 26/03/2015 22:46

Just skype with her next time she's on skype with him, and go from there.

paddyclampo · 26/03/2015 22:46

Can you not get one quickly?

chocomochi · 26/03/2015 22:46

Crossed-post. OP, it sounds like you want to let your son go, but need some reassurances that it's ok for him to go.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 26/03/2015 22:47

Why are you evading the issue about hiding his passport?

TwinkieTwinkle · 26/03/2015 22:47

For all of you saying 'hide his passport', did it ever occur to you he might have got hold of it to book his flights and not put it back? He's over 16, he is an adult, unfortunate in this situation but can't be changed.

OP is too calm? No. She is reasonably asking for suggestions.

As for her thinking about sending him money when he goes across: better for him to have his own money than reliant on someone else, no?

AyeWrite · 26/03/2015 22:49

I find it hard to believe that you are so calm about your shy and bullied son buying a plane ticket to Texas to live with someone he's never met who he got chatting to on the Internet. Hmm

iwantgin · 26/03/2015 22:49

My DS is 17.
He would not be going.

find his passport op

Akire · 26/03/2015 22:50

Does seem odd even if a 19y old had fallen fo17y old then they want would met on for holiday then possible extend this if got on. Who would start out by saying yes let's stay the 3months?

Can't see how she should be supporting him, if she does go to work what will he be doing all day? If he's asking you to trust him to travel the other side of the world for 3m then he needs to trust you with talking to her parents/the women and full address!

From watching boarder programs they will not look very kindly on 17y not beg able to supports themselves, and would question it. They might consider him to be high risk of over staying bearing in mind nothing to go back to UK.

WildFlowersAttractBees · 26/03/2015 22:51

Get one. Call the passport office and request an appointment.

pinkje · 26/03/2015 22:51

Is he still at school?

CrockedPot · 26/03/2015 22:53

You say your son speaks to her on Skype all the time, have you actually witnessed this or has he just told you? I would be very, very cautious if I were you.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 26/03/2015 22:54

I would tell the airline not to let him on the plane and contact the police to check out who on earth it is he is planning to stay with that he has been Skyping.

AlpacaMyBags · 26/03/2015 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
scottishmother · 26/03/2015 22:57

He has already hidden his passport and he was the one who got a new one to go to america. What if it is not all doom and gloom and they are actually in love? This could be a good thing for him, but I need to make sure he is safe, my fiancé I am with I met him online a online game, so I can hardly say to him to not meet can I as it will be worth nothing.i will try and arrange a passport for myself, but I am sure it take a month.

OP posts:
winewolfhowls · 26/03/2015 22:57

Definitely sounds dodgy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread