Absolutely Bathtime! ^
'Sucessful' offenders are often charming and always ' volunteer', for often tiresome time-consuming tasks eg volunteer to collect kids from parties.. Gives them a chance to groom several kids at a time and check them out ..Volunteer to look after a large group of kids where their mums go on a hen party
. So they are often well- liked - remember they will often groom the adults first. This is purely to access their preferred age of children. The sucessful abusers you will never guess... Until it's too late... They will also never be caught, therefore not on any register... There will often be no gossip about them as often they are regarded as being beyond reproach eg religious figures, teachers, youth leaders, or your kids ' favourite uncle...
Sorry if I'm putting folk off their break fast.
Sometimes they will 'reconaissance the land' ,this can often be over months, sometimes years. For example, work out how pliable everyone is in a community or family, are there any large angry men around that are going to beat him to pulp etc etc. Is there a large local extended family looking out for the kids? Pointless target. They will often be very detailed in their investigations... They will target the young mum who is desperate to have a night out with friends, or the woman who is very chaotic, so kids are often left unsupervised. Don't forget they don't have to be alone very long to be abused. It can be a few seconds. As said these are often the blokes everyone trusts.
Also, age is no barrier, frail health is no barrier. These people are sadly very skilled. One case I knew :this 89 year old with a walking frame was targeting young children in an amusement arcade... Always choosing the ones who had been left for 15 minutes whilst their parents pop to shops. From approach to offence in one case (from cctv) was less than 90 seconds. Sickening... (of course this elderly chap needed help with his shopping).
Another distressing case:an 8 year old was digitally penetrated in tje middle of an airport lounge less than 30 feet away from her parents... She was only standing looking at the departure board...
In terms of treatment... Paedophiles will often go through some sort of group, sometimes individual, treatment in prison.. Some won't offend again... Some will ans won't be caught. They will however, always be sexually attracted to kids. They will have extensive work over their triggers for offending. For example men are told of they are meeting women online not to go out with women with kids and definitely not visit houses with kids. They would also be told for example not to drink heavily as alcohol is usually a predictive factor, the last barrier to abuse. If you don't drink you are more likely to be able to stop offending.
Abusers inside families have more successful treatment outcomes... Ie less likely to re offend, than those who offend outside the family.
There is a whole argument as to whether offenders should go through some of the training, it can make them more successful offenders.... Sadly it's impossible to know which ones these men are.
All horribly depressing!
OP you are doing a good job, your instinct is right.
If your sister starts accusing you of troublemaking... I would say something like...
' You knew your partner raped an 11 year old.. When he was 20. You chose not to tell me, and then YOU encouraged him to babysit your 12 year old niece.. My daughter.. You seem to think this is ok. I have every right to be furious with you at this complete lack of care and putting her at such risk of sexual assault, for our family s much loved child. '
If she starts defending him I think the broken record technique would be good....
' You are being groomed too'
She is! This is why women marry child sex offenders. The offender and the woman will ALWAYS justify and MINIMISE the offending behaviour. It's too much to think your partner finds a 4 yr old sexually attractive and acted on this. This is called cognitive dissonance, so they will minimise it to a more 'acceptable narrative' - he was drunk, depressed, abused as a child. Or there was no physical evidence, the child lied etc etc.
And : 'You are marrying a child rapist...i dont need to hear his excuses'.
Do tell her any kids she has with him will be monitored by social services.. This will not be options.. and in all likelihood he wont be able to live with them.