Iliveinalighthouse - I have posted this several times on this thread, but will do so again, as you may have missed it (easily done on a long thread, not a dig at you).
Teens are not just going through hormonal changes, their brains are restructuring - actual, physical changes - according to Charlie Taylor, author of 'Divas and Doorslammers'. If I recall his book correctly (I gave it to a friend, and can't check), he likens it to temporary brain damage - mild and transient, of course - but that does help explain why some teens lose all empathy, or the ability to control their tempers - and why it is, to some extent, out of their control.
To me, this explains why it is not always as simple as 'treat them with respect and you will earn their respect' - they are often acting in ways that are not in their control, and cannot empathise with their parents or others, about the effects their behaviour is having.
And I don't think people are slagging their teens off - we are laughing together here, instead of trying to cope on our own, fearing that everyone else is coping far better, and we are the parental failures. I think threads like this are a very valuable safety valve. I am sure you were not trying to stifle the discussion on here, but comments like yours could drive people away from somewhere where they are getting a bit of support, so they don't feel like the only parents of teens who have failed as parents.