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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teen fucking dramas!!

829 replies

Mintyy · 25/03/2015 20:41

I mean really and truly, aibu?

If you've never trod on eggshells before, you certainly will when you become owner of a teen.

That is all.

OP posts:
antumbra · 06/04/2015 08:11

"bad press"

Dumdedumdedum · 06/04/2015 08:14

It may not be of any consolation to you, Catzjimjams, but it could be that the whole thing got out of control without your 20 year old having much to do with it. Did you expressly forbid him not to have people round?
I am firmly in the camp of belief that the brain development of teenagers lasts till they are about 25. That is the only logical reason for my mostly delightful and well-behaved 20 year old student daughter to be having teenage tantrums when she comes home to visit.
I hope all is not too awful for whichever of you has to go home, CP, and am sorry to hear your hols have been spoilt :(

Dumdedumdedum · 06/04/2015 08:17

Sorry, can't find a way to edit. * Did you expressly forbid him having people round?

Ledkr · 06/04/2015 08:22

dum
I did a week long training in the teen brain last month and yes they are now saying 25! Which explains a lot doesnt it?
It even explains things for me at that age!!
I agree about parties getting out of control but he shouldn't have started it to begin with.
They know at that age things could go wrong.
I really hope cp can still enjoy the holiday.

catzpyjamas · 06/04/2015 08:23

He had a few people over, got drunk, passed out and then when we couldn't contact him and asked a relative to check on things, they found over a dozen random people drinking and wearing our clothes and DSS was still asleep..

Ledkr · 06/04/2015 08:27

Golden rule "never get drunk at your own party"
I hope it's just superficial damage and cleaning.
Little fuckers going into other people's rooms, maybe you need to contact their parents.
What a mess, I hope he feels terrible.

Cocolepew · 06/04/2015 09:23

Oh no catz Sad

Cocolepew · 06/04/2015 09:26

Btw, Antumbra, I don't need you defending my teens. How bizarre that you even think you need to come on to a thread to do that Hmm

Dumdedumdedum · 06/04/2015 09:27

Catz, he must be feeling mortified :( Not nice for him, either. As Ledkr says, I do hope it's mostly superficial :( Lucky there was family around to assess the situation.
Ledkr - I first heard the theory a couple of years ago, when my gynaecologist told me she's been to a lecture about teenage development and how to cope! At the time, I thought we were doing reasonably OK (DD was 17) but I'm now thinking perhaps not so much. Do you have any links to articles/suggestions of relevant books, please?

swazza · 06/04/2015 09:36

Cats - what a nightmare. I suspect he had a few mates over and somehow it got out of hand. Hope it's not as bad as You fear when you get back home.

Leslie - 25!!!! OMG!!!

Ledkr · 06/04/2015 09:37

I will be back later. It's my mums 70th tiday so mad party planning but will defo let you have some light reading!! Grin
I work in adoption so need to know as much as possible about teen brains x

swazza · 06/04/2015 09:40

Ledkr not Leslie!!! Damn auto correct.

LineRunner · 06/04/2015 09:41

My sister and I still had toddler tantrums with each other in our late 20s.

Could be we're just twats, though.

afreshstartplease · 06/04/2015 09:44

25? Hmm dcs dad is still acting like a teenager at 27....

Ledkr · 06/04/2015 10:01

liney you said it Grin
I can be twatty and tantrummy and I'm 47 Shock

RyanAirVeteran · 06/04/2015 10:11

DS was sent to bed in a strop on Saturday night.

My crime ?

I cooked chilli for dinner but didn't consult him. Confused

antumbra · 06/04/2015 10:15

You send your teen to bed? Bizarre.

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 06/04/2015 11:30

Antumbra, I'm trying to ignore your goady comments but I just wanted to say this.

Two things I think are essential when dealing with teenage children, are humour and sensitivity. Parents on this thread seem to have this in bucketloads, but these are the two qualities that are very clearly sadly lacking in your posts on here. I wonder how genuine your relationship with your DC actually is from your posts. Your total lack of empathy and your display of self congratulation is startling. My DH (genuinely one of the best parents i know, certainly better than me) says that if parenting is hard, you're doing it right, and I think there is truth in there.

I don't think your intentions are helpful on this thread so I will be ignoring your posts from now on, hopefully everyone else will do this too.

As you were!

LineRunner · 06/04/2015 12:52

And I'm still a bit of a twat to this very day Smile

BalloonSlayer · 06/04/2015 13:31

I read an article which linked teenage behaviour to the fact that the fontanelles on the head do not close completely until the early twenties. It suggested these gaps are what creates the "well what can go wrong" and "I'm indestructible" attitude of teenagers. It linked to the practice of trepanning (drilling holes into the skull) which has been known (apparently) to help depression - presumably it recreates some of the carefree feelings of youth.

Gibble1 · 06/04/2015 13:46

After taking DD clothes shopping, I sent her up to pack for her week sailing. She came downstairs looking for bags(!) so I went up to help. I had to empty her back and as I was doing so I remarked that everything was coming apart and unfolding as it was all slippery items. She went potty. I got to the bottom of the bag and found 3 brand new enormous bath sheets(!). Err, no dear, sailing towels please. I re packed her entire bag (including a sleeping bag as she didn't have one packed Hmm ) and then got ranted at for removing her highly necessary gear. As I was driving her there yesterday afternoon, I suddenly exclaimed "You haven't got a pillow!" As she made me remove the camping one from the bag. So she rang her Dad to bring her pillow along to the unit. We then arrived at the unit and having been there for 5 minutes someone mentioned packed lunch. "WTF? You needed a packed lunch DD?" "Oh, yeah. Errr". Even her friends were like "!!!!!!! You sent us the kit list? You knew what you needed" " I said to her " I have NO money on me, and there are no shops open as it's Easter Sunday, you are going to be very hungry come tea time". Her dad arrived and I said to him "she needed a packed lunch" he just looked at her "meh?!" That's all folks!
Bloody kids, maddening!

LineRunner · 06/04/2015 14:52

Gibble, I've had a turn just reading that. Grin

StayingSamVimesGirl · 06/04/2015 15:06

I honestly believe now, that Antumbra does not give one tiny, shiny shite about how crap her posts could be making other people feel. She has been told many times how much harm she could be causing, but carries on making the same comments. This suggests to me at best, colossal insensitivity to the feelings and needs of others or at worst, a real enjoyment of causing pain to others.

Bogeyface · 06/04/2015 15:42

The only issue I have with her comments is calling anyone with a shouty teen a "dysfunctional family".

I would suggest that anyone who takes great pleasure in parading their perfection for all to see, regardless of whether it would do more harm than good, is either a downright liar or more dysfunctional than anyone else on this thread.

I would, if I were here, be questioning why my children felt absolutely no need to assert themselves, find their own way in life or rebel even slightly. Perhaps it isnt that they dont want to but more that they are afraid of the reaction from a mother who clearly uses her children to boost her own self worth. I suspect FOG.

Bogeyface · 06/04/2015 15:43

If I were her not here!