To only let my children have fresh fruit/yoghurt for breakfast?

[Sunshinesunflower]

They have plenty of healthy food during the day but I don't really want them thinking the day has to start with them shoving lots of hot food or sugary cereals down themselves.

There is plenty of fruit for variety and just a small amount of plain yoghurt.

Aibu? I have always disliked the concept of breakfast so fruit seems a reasonable compromise.

I don't have friends, unexpected. As you have seen, I'm not a particularly pleasant or agreeable sort of person.

Miscellaneous I don't doubt you meant it well but I was genuine with some of what I said: I feel much of your post was about you and about how my 'ignoring your advice' made you feel. Well, one thing therapy DOES teach you is that in the politest possible way, that isn't my issue.

That said I do not wish to cause further distress so I apologise for any caused. Just the same I would love that to be the last mention of therapy!

One question I don't think that you've answered in the many posts is why you asked the question in the first place? If you were happy with what you were feeding the children you wouldn't have asked? Did someone comment on it, or did your children ask for something else? Or was it for some other reason?

I have answered that three times (at least.)

OP I wish you well and hope you get yourself into a happier place than where you are presently.

I won't be so naive as to think a poster wants thoughtful support just because she appears to be crying out for it again.

Btw, it's fine if you want to pretend I've been shoving therapy down your throat, it's certainly what you want me to have said.

But I will just mention that actually, I've offered a whole range of other ideas throughout this thread. All supportive, all optional and all hoping one might be useful to you.

I specifically said therapy is NOT right for where you are just now.

But sure, you just keep on telling yourself that I'm a big bad meanie and you are a poor innocent victim who couldn't possibly be responsible for anything she says, even when it deliberately takes the piss out of someone who was trying to be On Your Side.

But I am not the bad guy here and please don't try and cast me as that for your own reasons - it's just not nice.

It also makes me into a liar as I said you seemed really nice. You know, on one of the posts where I was clearly being oh so mean.

Do you feel better now?

The "eggs effect" happens all the time on these long threads, unfortunately. I don't believe anyone meant any harm by it.

maryz I am indeed now walking but couldn't leave the upsetting stuff being posted as then others coming into this thread will believe them.

Your post yesterday was lovely miscellaneous.

Your posts today - honestly - not so much. I am not going to keep on about why I disliked the one that has sparked this as I have already done so. However I will say that no, it doesn't make me feel good that someone is upset but in all honesty if you are upset I was rude to you then I am a horrible, nasty person. If I am upset someone is rude to me, I need therapy.

Do you not see how that is a bit frustrating? Obviously I got upset when I was accused of starving the children and screwing them up for life and beyond - as endlessly alluded to by another poster there's more going on than that - but nonetheless, it's horrible!

Anyway no: I do not feel good that you do not. I have said as much a few times now.

Whatever your opinion of her posts today, Miscellaneous did not deserve your nasty 'sub-literate' jibe, Sunshine.

And frankly, neither did anyone else on this thread.

Which I've apologised for - although it's hardly on a par with drowning kittens. Itwas an inaccuracy in a post littered with them - and I don't mean grammatically.

I also feel that in other circumstances people would have been informing miscellaneous that her posts are passive-aggressive and that her feelings are not the responsibility of others.

This thread is an absolute car crash.

There was absolutely no need for the rudeness, especially to Miscellaneous. You do need counselling, Sunshine otherwise your issues with food and low self esteem will wear off on to you children, however until you acknowledge you have these problems the treatment won't work.

Peculiar effect of AIBU I think Wayfaring. Happens when people feel the need to jump in without reading a thread just to make their point. Happens less in other areas of the site.

Unfortunately, when posters are vulnerable it can cause a lot of hurt on all sides of the argument, even if it wasn't intended.

I have had counselling.

Saints preserve me.

Someone will suggest eggs next.

I know you have had counselling, you said it didn't work. You need more. You need to acknowledge the problems you have first. You have issues surrounding food, surely you don't want those passed on to your children?

Preserved eggs, Sunshine? Actually, pickled egg is one if the foulest foods I have ever tried - they really do stink

No, I said it didn't work for food issues as I don't have food issues. Stop patronising me.

I don't think I have ever had a pickled egg!

I always latch onto something in pregnancy. With DD it was chewing gum. Hated the smell so much. Now it's eggs!

An aversion to scrambled eggs was one of the first signs I was pregnant - couldn't face them until I had given birth

I do actually like them! It's just the smell - and it's worse in the morning. Everything is worse then. Then I sleep half the day and then the evening is bad.

Isn't it strange how a lot of posters on this thread all think you have issues with food from the information you given, but you don't?

If you had a healthy relationship with food you wouldn't think it "greedy" or "gluttonous" to eat a normal breakfast.

Naturally you do not think you have food issues or that you only have mild ones.

You have stopped using the word gluttony/gluttonous, stopped saying there is such a thing as too much food for growing children and that that is bad for them, stopped talking about 'shoving food', stopped mentioning your problem with people eating 'large amounts' first thing in the morning, there are no more references to terrible smells after eggs and farts were run through -- all the un-self-conscious things people hauled you up on have now been hidden.

Despite pulling in your horns when posters pointed out irrationality and distorted thinking, you have revealed a lot more here than merely what you serve your children for breakfast. You have talked about your mother and her attitudes and your feelings ('I love her but') and her death at 52, about your father and his piling his plate high and death in his 60s, how your parents forced you to clear your plate, that you throw up a lot, that your brother died of a possible overdose, that you are greatly burdened by grief that you may have never addressed, and possibly by fears that are expressed in your thoughts about food and your idea that therapy is useless. You are also prone to anticipating insults by piling them onto yourself. Overall, you are defending yourself constantly, and you have also mentioned voices that have been there since childhood. I do not recognise you from other threads, but all of that has jumped off this thread at me.

You really do come across as someone who has serious food issues and I urge you to take the excellent advice offered here and find a therapist who works with people with food issues -- and do not edit or censor or hide your thoughts as you seem to have done on this thread when you realised what the majority reaction was to words like 'gluttony', for instance.

The black and white thinking (and extreme defensiveness) rears its head again where you favourably compare the insulting language and substance of your posts to Miscellaneous to the drowning of kittens.

Your apologies ring incredibly hollow.

'Which I've apologised for - although it's hardly on a par with drowning kittens.'

You have had counselling for PND which is not the same problem at all as the one expressed in your food issues.

sunshineflower I see in your threads you say you couldn't get the amount of counselling you would of liked/needed - I think you should persevere.
You are obviously a loving mother and your children need you to be at your best so please look at a more realistic support network than mumsnet and get yourself back 'up there' for your children's sake :-)
Members on here are only trying to help you but it's not their responsibility and you dont seem to want to take on board any advice given so please take that responsibility yourself and be happy in your life, decisions and parenting - good luck

OP, I think you need to go to your GP and get some more counselling or CBT. There are a whole host of problems here and you deserve some help so you can live your life in a positive way. You sound so unhappy and defensive and you deserve so much more than that.