To only let my children have fresh fruit/yoghurt for breakfast?

[Sunshinesunflower]

They have plenty of healthy food during the day but I don't really want them thinking the day has to start with them shoving lots of hot food or sugary cereals down themselves.

There is plenty of fruit for variety and just a small amount of plain yoghurt.

Aibu? I have always disliked the concept of breakfast so fruit seems a reasonable compromise.

OP, you mentioned physical illness and mental illness earlier on.

If the first avenue of treatment for a physical illness failed, you'd try another one. You wouldn't just give up. You might also have to give it some time before the treatment started working.

I think you might have written therapy off too quickly. I also think you should be more honest about your situation - you might get much more helpful responses.

Sorry, 'disliked the concept of breakfast' ?? What exactly do you dislike about eating a meal 12 hours after your last one.

Don't impress your strange relationship with food onto your children. A healthy breakfast can take many forms.

Disclaimer - I realise that 13 pages in my comments on the OP are probably mostly irrelevant.

Why are you even asking this if you clearly don't think yabu and there's no discussion about it? Weird.

Therapy works if you work with it and have the right therapist, however it would involve you changing fundamentally your beliefs about yourself and I get the feeling you don't want to change. Infact you sound resigned to the negative thoughts and beliefs.

I find it really sad and a tad frustrating because unless you are secretly an axe murderer my guess is there won't be much foundation for these beliefs.

Anyhow if fruit and yogurt works for you for breakfast then each to their own.

Well, it's this attitude that if it doesn't work it's all your fault that I find frustrating.

A bit like when religious people tell you that when your prayers aren't answered you need more faith.

Therapy doesn't always work and I'm with the op on this one.

I am the same way with peanuts OP.

My husband knows not to go near me when he has ate them for a very long time or I will gag.

I never had any kind of nuts in the house when mine were growing up. Bad I know, but the smell sent me instantly to the toilet to gag. They ate them round gps and their dads but not in my house. We have peanut butter in the house now but thankfully they rarely eat it.

It was a mixture of the god awful smell and the association of them with my evil dad.

So I understand the egg thing.

Thanks :)

Don't get me wrong, some of it was helpful, but I am not accepting I have this terrible and deep seated issue because of giving the kids fruit.

There are many, many different types of therapy.

CBT would seem particularly appropriate to the type of negative thought patterns displayed by the OP.

Therapy worked for me - I had cognitive behavioural therapy last year, and although the depression is still there, I can deal with it much better.

I think that, if therapy doesn't work for you, it isn't your fault - it simply means you either haven't found the right therapy or you haven't found the right therapist.

I had two and a half years of group therapy, and whilst it helped a bit, it did not make the big improvements in my mental health that CBT has.

Well, anyway, I can't afford it and don't have anyone to have my youngest while I have it so ...

I didn't say its your fault but obviously only you can change your thought patterns and you have to want to do that to feel better about yourself. I did also say the right therapist, there are some rubbish ones out there.

I am having some counselling/therapy at the moment and it is not easy actually, I am finding the whole process quite scary. However I want to feel better about myself and build some confidence. It is helping and it helps to have someone to talk to who can unpick all the 'stuff' that has been hidden away and not thought about or dealt with iyswim.

I suppose I technically have similar issues to OP (AN) and no therapy has ever worked and I doubt when I stared cbt when I was 8 I didn't want to get better or when I was 12 and hospitalised and 14 and hospitalised etc I've had all sorts of different therapies and I'm still 'anorexic'

Some things are unfortunately stuck with you for life - I still go to counselling etc but no luck so far.

I'm not telling the OP to give up because I never would do that I'm just saying it's not her fault if it's never worked.

Yes, so because it is working for you it must work for everybody. I see. That's logical.

Blimey Sunshine

thanks, am off now.

Sunshine that was uncalled for

'I am not accepting I have this terrible and deep seated issue because of giving the kids fruit.'

Sunshine, you really do need to find the right therapist. When you find him or her you need to work hard, not expect the therapy to work hard. It is not a magic bullet, or akin to praying. It is a collaborative process that requires input from you. If you didn't feel you made progress the last time and you feel you put in an honest effort, then maybe put that down to the therapist.

You need to explore the black and white thinking, the catastrophising, the circular reasoning and negativity, the rigidity/inflexibility and the fear.

I think that this thread is really quite disturbing having sat and read all 644 messages.

OP I would stop reading or contributing to it if I were you as I fear it will not help you one jot.

I'm sure you are doing a great job and that you are far more of a decent parent than you think you are.

Who cares what your children get for breakfast, they get breakfast, lunch and dinner (and supper!) so plenty more than many children in this country let alone the world.

Maybe therapy will work at a different point in your life.

If you approached therapy with the same attitude to this thread (which you may or may not have done), then I can see its chock full of you fighting extremely hard to refuse to let anything near you or touch you. There's strategy after strategy, ending in you pushing away again, then being rude to someone who was actually being supportive and open to you, sharing personal stuff in the hopes you would discuss and think about it. But you didn't and that should tell you, if you can see it, that you will twist and turn and thrash around to try to not face the issues you have and that you aren't stuck in this situation, you've stuck yourself there.

And no doubt you're reading this with anger and hurt that someone's blaming you again... Or maybe just cross because your 'look I blame myself better than you lot ever could' strategy hasnt worked on everyone.

But actually, if you can hear through whatever noisy and instructive thoughts you have, I'm not blaming you, I am saying that you don't seem ready to want help or want to change. And until you're ready to work on all those strategies you have to stop anyone from helping you or having to face up to a situation that you have control over (but don't want to have control over so go a bundle on controlling everything else)... Well, I can't see most therapists being able to get through all that armour and fortress ing you've got on there.

I wonder if you'll ever read through this thread and take out some of the useful stuff, rather than getting upset by the mean stuff or sidelined by the rand stuff like fish fingers.

I suspect not.

I'm not sure why you posted on here. Surely you know what kind of threads AIBU are? Did you want that kind of response? Because I'm struggling to see why you'd put yourself in this position or what healthy things you wanted out of it. Rather than attention, a kicking and confirmation that no one can possibly understand or help you. Not sure why you'd decide you'd want that?

All very odd and I feel frustrated as I gave up alot of my evening yesterday to try and be supportive and suggest sensible things. You didn't have to take any of it on board but it's just sad to see someone ignoring all the well meant and supportive advice in favour of fixating over fish fingers, and letting slip you would rather say your children have digestive problems than jornal foods give them normal farts. You've got to see how were, unusual that is? But of course you don't.

Thanks.

Math - just so we are clear. Giving children fruit every day for breakfast is bad because it's repetitive but repeatedly droning on about therapy isn't?

You haven't a clue. You're just showing how little you know when you lecture me about 'working hard.'

Incidentally where is the money for therapy going to come from? The NHS? Doubt it.

Like I say; clueless.

What a great post MiscellaneousAssortment

A lot is two words.

Like I say, you think you know all about me and you really don't.

I have said therapy was helpful.

I have said I can't afford to continue it and I have no one to have the children. Plus I feel it reached it's peak so to speak. But no - carry on with the barely literate posts criticising me, by all means.

OP I didn't criticise you, I thought it a good idea to stop reading this or contributing as it cannot be helping however strong (or not) you are feeling.

If you're going to be snarky about Miscellaneous's generous post, then I would point out that you've made a grammatical error in your own post. It's v its.

Barely literate, eh?