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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
Pipbin · 23/03/2015 18:09

That's dreadful. As said above, you lent her the money, not the organisers. Why should you have to go through the faff of getting your money back.
And as said above, since when did 'I didn't like that' entitle people to get their money back on something like this?

88blueshoes · 23/03/2015 18:12

What a cow. I would be FURIOUS at that response! What is she thinking?? There are some great replies here, I suggest you use one of them. Don't back down!

p.s. and forward her this thread!

expatinscotland · 23/03/2015 18:12

Shop her to that school! Show them the texts. And make out like you are concerned. 'This came up in conversation about something else, and none of us likes to pay higher prices for term-time holidays, but it does us all a bad turn when one person does this.'

misskatamari · 23/03/2015 18:12

Oh my god I can't believe she thinks that is acceptable behaviour! Just shocking!

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 23/03/2015 18:14

"It is NOT my battle to fight - I lent you the money in good faith, please return it ASAP, my bank details are as follows ..."

SuperFlyHigh · 23/03/2015 18:15

Marking place

fairnotfit · 23/03/2015 18:16

Invite her to join you on an edition of "Judge Rinder"

Grin

You would so win.

ChrisMooseAlbanians · 23/03/2015 18:19
Shock

How about...
No.

Bakeoffcake · 23/03/2015 18:20

Oh yes, I can see Judge Rinder sorting her out. He would have a field dayGrin

sykadelic · 23/03/2015 18:21

"I loaned you $20 because you were short. You said you would pay me back when you got to town, but you have not. Your dispute about the activity and whether you should get your money back is between you and the organisers of the activity, not with me. My account details are ###."

If she doesn't pay you back, I would try and get the money back from the organisers, or at least ask them about it. I don't know how you paid but I can't imagine they go about handing out refunds to someone who is not the parent of the child in question.

Crabstick · 23/03/2015 18:22

Shock outrageous behaviour!

Bakeoffcake · 23/03/2015 18:23

I would send a text back

"I'm glad you're having a super holiday. Regarding the £20, I want it paid back to me. If you want to get a refund from the organisers that had nothing at all to do with me. Here are my bank details........ I will expect in my account this evening."

OurGlass · 23/03/2015 18:24

Cheeky cow!

DancingDays · 23/03/2015 18:24

Wow, no more being nice. She's giving your friendship away for the sake of £20. You don't owe her niceties.

My reply would be
"I'm sorry, I haven't made my self clear. I lent you £20, you need to return it by X date, regardless of the refund situation you have with the company regarding your son. I will not be approaching the company about your son, that if not any of my business."

Fullpleatherjacket · 23/03/2015 18:28

I'm just Shock

Sadly I don't think you're going to get it back now. She's out on a limb and there's no face saving to be had. The friendship's shot but that's even better reason not to mince your words:

@pursezilla

'I had and have no intention of paying for your son and therefore look forward to receiving reimbursement forthwith'

MaidOfStars · 23/03/2015 18:30

I didn't know you were stuck for cash

And I didn't know you were the kind of person who borrowed money and then decided whether or not to repay it based on the perceived value of what you spent it on. Tried that with a bank, have you?

limitedperiodonly · 23/03/2015 18:30

I'd send her a text: 'Keep the £20. I want no further contact with you. However, I will be contacting every mutual acquaintance I can think of now and in the future about you, starting with this text trail and a run down of what you did and I'm sending it, er NOW. Enjoy the first night of your holiday.'

LaurieFairyCake · 23/03/2015 18:30

"You've the wrong end of the stick. YOU were the one who was 'short' of money and borrowed it from me. Please pay the loan back immediately. Hope you have a great holiday and if you're still miffed with the organisers take it up with them when you get back".

Roussette · 23/03/2015 18:32

"You are not listening. I will explain more carefully - you were the one that was short of money when we went there and you'll be a helluva lot shorter when I've knocked your bloody block off. Pay up you tightwad"

TheNothingGirl · 23/03/2015 18:32

I'm go apeshit! What a cheeky cow. My reply would be 'seriously are you taking the piss? I lent you it, if you want it back from the activity take it up with them but don't take the piss out of me'.

But then I would calm down and think something along lines of this may be less argumentative
'it's not my place to ask for a refund for your son. I didn't give you the money, nor pay for him for you-I laid it out because you had no cash on you and I now feel that my kindness has been taken advantage of. I need my money back by lunchtime tomorrow, here are my account details for you to transfer it into'.

TheNothingGirl · 23/03/2015 18:33

I'd not im

fairyfuckwings · 23/03/2015 18:33

I really would send her a link to this thread. Nothing you say to her is gonna get her to pay up because she's a freeloader. I think we all know at least one person like that - they're best avoided!

expatinscotland · 23/03/2015 18:34

Grass her to the school!

Birnamwood · 23/03/2015 18:36

Just a thought... Do you reckon she could have already got the refund from the organisers already and is now 20 quid up?!

Birnamwood · 23/03/2015 18:37

Too many already's Shock

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