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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 23/03/2015 13:21

I think the friend is expecting OP to speak to the event organisers and get the money back from them herself because she paid it to them. Which of course is a conversation the mum should have had with them when she picked up her son.

TheKnackeredChef · 23/03/2015 13:35

Well done for tackling her OP. Although if it were me, I think my reply would have been more along the lines of, "Ha ha! Are you on glue?"

PeachyParisian · 23/03/2015 14:16

Shock cheeky mare. If she wants a refund she can pay you back and negotiate a refund with the organisers. How fucking rude!
YANBU!

NoImSpartacus · 23/03/2015 14:31

Your DH is bang on.

I would be livid if someone tried this on with me, and I would be like a dog with a bone til I got my cash back.

Meanwhile just so she knows who she is messing with I would be posting a shit parcel thru her front door for her to return to, like some other sensible person has suggested up thread.*

*I wouldn't really, but that's what she deserves.

GlitteryLipgloss1 · 23/03/2015 14:53

Hope you get your money back OP.

What an absolute ponce.

WhinersAreWeners · 23/03/2015 17:54

Well. I have a had a reply. You all were right my fluffy approach has not worked!!!

The reply was: We've arrived! Weather is lovely. Just what the doctor ordered. As I said I don't feel son got anything out of it so I think you should contact the organisers to see if they will give you the money back. I didn't know you were stuck for cash :(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm FURIOUS! She's trying to make out as if it's niothinng and I'm being petty asking for the money from her!!!!!!

OP posts:
QueenBean · 23/03/2015 17:57

Omg what a reply!! OP I am furious for you!

Would reply and say that it's not your fault he didn't enjoy it, please return your money and then take it up with the organisers herself

What a twat!!

woodhill · 23/03/2015 17:57

out of interest is she taking her dc out of school then.

I would be livid. She must pay you. Why is it your fault that her son did not like it. Most people would tell their dc to lump it. I know I would.

nauticant · 23/03/2015 17:58

Tell her she has your £20. If she insists on keeping it it means she's a thief. Ask her whether she wants to be a thief.

YvesJutteau · 23/03/2015 17:58

Holy crap!

TRexingInAsda · 23/03/2015 18:00

No more being nice - give it straight: "Well I didn't lend the organisers £20, I lent you £20 and I want it back from you. If you want a refund, you ask them yourself, but you owe me £20 whether you get a refund from them or not".

Paintedpinksapphires · 23/03/2015 18:00

Don't back down:

"it's not my responsibility to pay for your son. I did you a favour by paying in the first place and it feels like you are taking advantage of me. "

NerrSnerr · 23/03/2015 18:01

Fuck that. What a bitch. Can't believe her reply.

SauvignonBlanche · 23/03/2015 18:01

OMG! Shock
I didn't know you were stuck for cash - what a bitch!

LIZS · 23/03/2015 18:03

Cow! Maybe she's already had a refund and pocketed it?

Furyfowler · 23/03/2015 18:03

Wow!... I would be staying away from her as soon as you've got your money back and slagged her off all over town

RedorBlack · 23/03/2015 18:03

De lurking to say what the actual fuck! ShockConfused

I would reply with
Please tell me you're joking! I lent you the money as a favour so suggest YOU take it up with the venue. Why would you expect me to be responsible for your sons reaction. I am stunned you would put this above our friendship. Please transfer the money asap.

expatinscotland · 23/03/2015 18:03

'Wow. What a disappointment. I did you a favour by paying his entry, in good faith that you would repay this (fee was not conditional on enjoyment), as you said you would when we got to town, not only if your son enjoyed it. Of course I'm short of cash! I'm not in the habit to throw £20 out the window. I feel used and taken advantage of. What a pity you value £20 more than our friendship. How very upsetting.'

Then out her on FB. Let the school know she took them out on holiday, and show them proof of it. So she can pay a fucking fine, too.

And dump this bitch.

Seriously. The world has 7bn people in it, your son will find others.

steff13 · 23/03/2015 18:04

Oh my gosh, she sounds horrible! Reply to her that you paid, and she owes you, end of. If she wants to try to get a reimbursement from the organizers, more power to her, but it's not your fault her son didn't have a good time.

On an related note, since when do we feel entitled to get our money back from an event/attraction because we didn't enjoy it? If I went to a museum and didn't enjoy the exhibits or to an amusement park and realized I didn't like the rides, I wouldn't expect to get my money back. It's just a risk you take when you attend something like that.

MythicalKings · 23/03/2015 18:04

Yup, she's a thief. Tell her so. You don't need friends like that.

WipsGlitter · 23/03/2015 18:04

Unbelievable. Reply.

I paid for your son as you were "short". You said you would repay me. Please do so.

waithorse · 23/03/2015 18:07

She's a stupid stupid person. Tell her you want your money. Be strong. She can't be allowed to get away with this.

iwishicouldsing · 23/03/2015 18:08

You didn't pay for her son. You lent her money because she forgot her own money. She can't decide that she didn't like what she spent it on so she'll just not pay you back.

atticusclaw · 23/03/2015 18:08

"Your son's activities are your responsibility and not mine. I lent you £20. Due to your attitude towards this I now require you to repay the £20 immediately. I am saddened that you value our friendship so little that you would try to default on a loan. Please ensure that you deal with this today. My account details are : xx xx xx . Thank you."

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 23/03/2015 18:08

OmFG what an unbelievably cheeky cah! Raging on your behalf.

Don't be a pushover OP like I am

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