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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 24/03/2015 11:14

Oh god my blood would be boiling.

I'd just close it down now though and either not reply or just say "thanks, glad you have come to your senses! I know you're not tight fisted normally must be the stress"

Fullpleatherjacket · 24/03/2015 11:14

Just caught up on the latest.

The woman has the hide of a rhino and the cheek of the cheekiest thing in cheeky town on national cheeky day.

Why on earth is she making such an arse of herself?!

TheFullGammon · 24/03/2015 11:15

Wow.

"No, since when do we pay entry to each other's kids to these events? We each pay for our own, you know that full well and you said quite clearly you'd pay me back in town. Please give the money to DH or me without involving the boys. Would you like me to give you the receipts so you can try to claim it back off the organisers?"

PS she didn't buy you lunch that day, did she?

TheFullGammon · 24/03/2015 11:16

Oh no, scrub that, WipsGlitters is much better!

abuhamzamouse · 24/03/2015 11:16

I didn't invite your son, you asked if he could tag along. You also asked me to sub you for activity. It's not my concern that he did not enjoy this. Stop being such a tightwad and give me the money... Bitch.

Text the above.

Ooooooooh · 24/03/2015 11:20

Firstly. I didn't invite her son. I told her about it and she asked if he could come!

This! Text her back saying that she asked for her son to attend the event after you had told her about it and it was clearly a loan when you handed over the £20

Then never inform her about any future events. If she asks, tell her to contact Someone else.

Fanfeckintastic · 24/03/2015 11:20

Oh my God I'm raging on your behalf!

limitedperiodonly · 24/03/2015 11:28

Looks like you've won. Congratulations.

Perhaps reply: 'Yes, please do send the money in with your son. Thanks.'

limitedperiodonly · 24/03/2015 11:29

Sorry wipsglitter. I missed your post.

MarkingMyPlace9 · 24/03/2015 11:39

I would hold off replying till you have the Money! If you start arguing back and forth, she may be more reluctant to hand it over. I know your probably fuming at this point, I would be too! But I would wait for the Money first. If she/her DH hasn't coughed it up by Thurs, I'd get back on the Texts. Good luck. I can't get over the cheek of Her!

GayByrne · 24/03/2015 11:40

The woman is a cunt.

She even said it herself, you're not usually tight with money - so how can she not see her fault here?

Some people...

SteppeAwayFromTheKeyboard · 24/03/2015 12:03

reply with

thank you

say nothing else until you have the money.
Then send her a link to this thread.

SuperFlyHigh · 24/03/2015 12:09

what a bitch. No need to even go into the wherewithalls etc of this - if it was a treat you'd offered to pay for her son you'd have said it...

I sometimes find certain types of 'friends' can be the worst for this type of behaviour - eg holding you ransom to all sorts of stuff they/you lent them. best avoided at any cost.

yearofthegoat · 24/03/2015 12:21

OMG I can't believe people actually behave like this. Don't let her send money to school. She'll send an empty envelope then say the money got stolen.

CactusAnnie · 24/03/2015 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 24/03/2015 12:46

She really is a piece of work isn't she???

I would reply (if you feel a reply is necessary under the circumstances) with
I'm not tight with money. I LOANED you the money irrespective of whether your son enjoyed the day or not. It was not a gift. Never was.
Don't involve our sons in your mess. Your DH can give the money to my DH at the gym tonight/tomorrow" and leave it at that. I'd imagine that her DH would be highly embarrassed that she would stiff you for the sake of 20 quid.

I'm livid on your behalf. How dare she!

OrangePeels · 24/03/2015 13:00

Who paid for lunch?

AuntyBrenda · 24/03/2015 13:07
Shock

How can she think that you were offering to pay for her son when she asked you to lend her the money as she had come out of the house without her purse?

I would be so frustrated if I were you, OP she sounds like such a twat.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 24/03/2015 13:16

Just unreal. I do like Whatcha's reply to her latest BS text.

BitOutOfPractice · 24/03/2015 13:16

Oh my good god this woman is as mad as a bag of cheese and as tight as a duck's arse.

OP you have to let other folks know what she's done.

bumbleymummy · 24/03/2015 13:21

I liked Pixel's first version of the reply - quoting what you said in your own post. "Firstly, you didn't invite him..."

She really sounds very unpleasant. At least you've seen her true colours.

CalleighDoodle · 24/03/2015 13:22

Id also not reply with any more argument until you have the money. Can you confirm what day she is sending it and her to give it to teacher instead and you collect off the teacher?

CalleighDoodle · 24/03/2015 13:25

THEN change your fb status to:

Need honest advice from my friends! I told a friend about an event i was attending and they asked if they could join me. They arrived with no money and asked to borrow £20 until they got to the cash point. I lent the money. They left early as their child threw a strop, then refused to pay me back, calling me names like tight. Was i tight for expecting to be paid back?

And sit back and wait for the shame to be poured on her.

gatewalker · 24/03/2015 13:31

I'd simply reply "Thank you." Her initial action and subsequent responses are bonkers. You are not going to get anything less bonkers from her and there is absolutely no need either to defend yourself or to try and reason with her.

Clutterbugsmum · 24/03/2015 13:41

Did she pay for her own lunch while you were out or did you pay for that as well.

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