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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
funkyfoam · 23/03/2015 20:43

Get your husband to say" xxxx owes Whiner £20 for the boys day out. She forgot to give it to her" Hopefully he will just pay up and if he doesn't your husband can explain! There is no way I would let her get away with this.

Iwasbornin1993 · 23/03/2015 20:43

Actually cannot believe that she has the cheek to act like this and think that it's a perfectly normal thing to doShockShock just outrageous!

missusdaly · 23/03/2015 20:44

This is teh type of situation that would nearly be funny if it were happening in a sitcom. Funny but probably still enraging even then.

How, approximately, does Mrs. CheekyBitch McScabbyPants imagine the conversation will go between you and the event organisers?

Event Organisers: Hello, welcome to Events Inc. How can we help you?
WhinersAreWeners: Hi, yes, hello. Em, my son and his friend were recently at one of your events and my son's friend didn't 'get a lot out of it' so I am contacting you now to ask you to please refund his entry fee.
EO: Oh, well, that's a new one. We don't get a lot of refund requests. After all, if you went to the cinema and didn't like the movie you wouldn't ring up the movie theatre and ask for your money back. I'll have to ask my manager if we can process a refund.
WAW: Thank you. I would appreciate that very much.
EO: You're welcome. Now I will have to tell the manager what the reason for the refund is, so that we can look to improve the event in the future. What was it that your son's friend didn't like?
WAW: I'm not sure, his mother just said he didn't get a lot out of it.
EO: Well, no offence to your friend but that's a shitty excuse. What exactly was he expecting to get out of it that he subsequently failed to get out of it. Was he maybe hoping to get a goody bag to bring home or something?
WAW Oh, don't worry, I wouldn't call this person 'a friend'. and she didn't give me many more details, I'll have to contact her and get back to you. Would that be okay?
EO: Of course. I'll let my manager know the situation and they can be expecting your call.
WAW: Great, although she is off on a holiday at the moment so I don't know how long it'll take.
EO: Oh that's lovely. I hope she enjoys her holiday and gets enough out of it. I wouldn't like to be the one processing all of those refunds if she doesn't!

SixOfTheBest · 23/03/2015 20:48

I'd go and ask her husband for it. Tell him she must have forgotten to repay you before she went on holiday. Cheeky mare! And then I really would 'out' her to anyone and everyone who would listen.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 23/03/2015 20:54

get dh to chat to her dh - mention boys going on course blah, blah

then 'oh, dw lent yours the cash and your dw seems to have forgotten about it before she went on hols, do you happen to have it on you?'

smile sweetly, sure he may make an excuse about not having the cash but would be interesting to see if he says 'er no, ds hated it so we're not paying'

JustNameChanged · 23/03/2015 21:03

ShockShockShock

DartmoorDoughnut · 23/03/2015 21:04

Can't believe her reply! How rude! Glad you sent a firm follow-up text, hope she apologises and pays up

GraysAnalogy · 23/03/2015 21:08

You need to be firmer and less long winded.

No, you lent £20 from me for your son to go to the event. You owe me £20 not them. If you want the money back from them afterwards, then you can try and claim it. I'd like it when you get back from holiday.

DorothyBastard · 23/03/2015 21:09

Wow, she is awful, I just cannot comprehend some people's levels of brazen selfishness.

MrsDiesel · 23/03/2015 21:11

Wow just wow, I can't believe that there are people like this!!!

I would definitely tell everyone what she is like. And yes get your dh to mention it, he can say, oh have you got the £20 your wife borrowed from us, dw hasn't seen her to get it back.

KatieKaye · 23/03/2015 21:14

If she doesn't respond positively to your very polite messages, I'd be tempted to text
"I lent you £20. Please repay it. The fact your son did not enjoy the event is irrelevant and nothing to do with the money you owe me. I want my money back now."

Short and to the point. No room for negotiation or misunderstanding.

msrisotto · 23/03/2015 21:19

Wow! What a twat! I can't believe it! Yeah, let your DH talk to hers about it. No harm in it, ain't no friendship to save here.

Momagain1 · 23/03/2015 21:23

if you went to the cinema and didn't like the movie you wouldn't ring up the movie theatre and ask for your money back

Actually, people do ask for refunds because they didnt like the movie, or because the movie turned out to have more (violence/nudity/sex/explitives/fill in the blank) than they expected. They are twats, but they exist. Cinema managers often will refund rather than be bad mouthed (ditto resteraunt owners over 'unsatisfactory' meals) .

Lovemylittlebear · 23/03/2015 21:32

You could always give her a creme egg and see if that does the trick :) LOL how annoying she sounds a right berk x

redshoeblueshoe · 23/03/2015 21:36

I'm voting for : ask your DH to ask her DH. Its obvious she wont pay up but he might out of sheer embarrassment. Shock

annielouise · 23/03/2015 22:00

Yes, get your DH to ask hers but he must know what she's like and I bet he is too. The only other way would be for your DH to borrow £30 say off her DH - then you're £10 up and she can ask you for it Grin. I'd be very tempted to put a nail under her wheel next time you see it parked anywhere ... I don't usually think these things but she's beyond the pale.

RebootYourEngine · 23/03/2015 22:03

what is her dh like? is he a cheeky tightwad like her? If he isnt then i would be getting your dh to mention it to him. He might get embarrassed by it & tell her how stupid she is.

AyeAmarok · 23/03/2015 22:07

I cannot believe she tried to poor-shame you into not making her return your £20! That is LOW.

Yes I'd get your DH to say something, then her husband can be ashamed of her too. What a horrible cow. Moo.

Donthate · 23/03/2015 22:12

Wow she has some front. At least you know what she's like now. Definitely get your DH to ask her DH for the money if she doesn't cough it up.

WildFlowersAttractBees · 23/03/2015 22:16

She is a strong contender for the brass neck of the year award!

CustardLover · 23/03/2015 22:19

Wow. People are so weird. Do you think she's embarrassed now? I mean, for acting like a socially inept, rude Scrooge,

bumbleymummy · 23/03/2015 22:21

Shock cheeky woman!

I think your reply is good. I doubt she'll repay you though. She doesn't sound like a very nice person.

PollyCazaletWannabe · 23/03/2015 22:26

I don't understand how people get like this. How have other, normal people not killed them?!

Iloveweetos · 23/03/2015 22:33

Wtaf!!!

LuluJakey1 · 23/03/2015 22:41

'Give me the fucking money you thief' could be a bit over the top but it how I feel about what she has done to you