What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

[GlitteringJasper]

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

It isn't a question of being financially ready these days. The average woman in early 20s couldn't possibly afford the basic rent, food etc - unless they have an older, established DP. My 23 yr old can just afford to get by in London.

It is perfectly socially acceptable in 40s now- it is so common that it is the average age in some circles.

I didn't have a choice about worrying financially - my dad caused me £25k personal debt, which I've finally now cleared. To have had baby before now would have meant bringing it up with me trying to clear that debt plus struggling to pay for DC. Would have been a nightmare and not a very nice life for my dc:( whereas now we can look forward to being able to care for this child financially and hopefully a nicer life

I went to an NCT meeting where one woman apologised for being older at 40 yrs- it turned out we were all around the same age!

About 38, I had my first and last at 36 through choice and I don't think I could have been doing with pregnancy/babies/toddlers in my 40s.

My SiL's colleague has just had twins at 48 with already having teenagers. I take my hat off to her.

I think there's pros and cons whatever you do - I had my first (and last ) baby at 43 - I had a great time in my 20s and 30s, fabulous career and lots of travel etc. When I had my baby (I genuinely hadn't wanted children before) I was able to be a SAHM with no angst about finance or losing out of my 'independence' because I was ready to embrace volunteering & doing what I wanted etc using my life and career skills. I also had no problems at all with interfering relatives or friends as I was mature and had enough self esteem to be confident about whatever decisions DH and I made regarding parenting.

Yes, I am tired now with a teenager as I am late 50s but lots of people are tired so I don't know if it's because I had my child later or not .

I had DD1 at 33 and DD2 at 35. Now DD1 is at school (and with kids who also have older siblings) I'm one of the youngest mums in the class!

I just think hitting 50 is no biggie these days like it used to be and by the time we hit 60 it will be the same. I have a friend in her mid-50s with a 10 year old. All it does is reduce her perceived age by 10 years.

If you want to and you can then go for it.

Very few people get the luxury of choice. The realistic cut off is to do with health and general fitness and projecting forward to thinking of your age with a teenager and 2am pick ups etc.

I always had the figure of 40 in my head but a surprise pregnancy at 43 changed all that and tbh my last pregnancy was by far the easiest.

For me 30 was always my cut off. I had my first at 19, then 24 and then 28. I've spent my entire 20's bringing up children and when I turned 30 last month it was a big turning point for me.

I'm really looking forward to my 30's and next September I will be going to college to set my career rolling.

Having children young was definitely the right thing for me. I look at my friends the same age just starting out and do not envy them at all!

At this point in time I'm thinking 40 is my cut off - but who knows.

I was 34 when I had my first DC. It took almost 6 years to conceive him with two miscarriages thrown in there too, so it doesn't always pan out as you hoped.

I met DH when I was 19 and spent most of my twenties feeling too young, too irresponsible and too skint to have children. I thought the time was right at about 28, just after we got married, but unfortunately it didn't happen.

Now at 35, almost 36 I'm currently having my 3rd miscarriage.

In my mind I always hoped to have 3 children, but the likelihood of that happening now is slipping away quickly.

I had my last at 34 and I'm done now. If I'd wanted to have a third then I would say 36/37. But it's a very personal decision. If I'd had my two five years earlier I probably would have felt done at 29.

DH was 46 when our youngest was born and he does find it tiring, though reckons he would still have done so if he's been 20 years younger. His uncle is now 71 and had a 10-year-old son!

My friend's mum was 45, nearly 46, when she had her (pre-IVF) and was always very fit and active when my friend was growing up.

I had said 35 in the past. I fell pregnant with my first at 35 and to my surprise still looked and felt 10 years younger.

I had my second around my 40th, and for me the door is now closed.

However if I wanted another child I'd go for it as I don't feel in my 40's.

My midwife friend tells me a lot of women give birth in their early/mid 40's, so I'd say 45 would be my cut-off.

For me I'd say 35/36 as DH will be 40/41 by then and I don't think he'd want any more after that. We had our DS when we were 27 and 31 and now we're 31 and 35 and ttc no.2. I think DH feels a bit old already but I tell him that's what you get for marrying someone 4 years younger than you! Fingers crossed it happens soon so that we can squeeze in trying for another if we want to

I don't think that there is a 'realistic' age tbh.

Nobody knows what their fertility is like until they try to use it and life and circumstances will always dictate when somebody aims for their first pregnancy. It's always such a personal decision and choice.
There is not arguing with biology and yes, fertility does gradually decline with age (no 'falling off a cliff after 35', mind), but I do think that anybody who is in a position that they wish to try for a baby, should.

Assissted conception for post-menopausal women over 50 I do have a huge problem with though.

Fwiw, I had my 4 between 37 and 44 and I have no regrets considering how my life had gone.

29

It means that when you are 63 you have a mature 34 year old to cart you to the loo, give you your meds etc!

Only kidding . That was the age I had my last one. Three under the age of five. Oh happy days.

Then I would have said 32 making the mum 50 when they were 18

I definitely would not have liked to have been a mum I'm my 40s, I suppose if you are fit and healthy and you are over 40 then go for it.

A friends mum had her 8 th at 46 and managed to stay around to see him into adulthood.

As a teenager I said I'd be done by 25 so I'd have no pre schoolers by my 30s.

Had 1 under 25 and it was very easy physically. I'd still done plenty of partying & travelling so I get a bit annoyed at those kind of comments about having DCs in your 20s.

I then moved limit to 30, so they'd all be in school by 35.

But a whole load of life stuff has got I the way, a few years have slipped past so now I'm pregnant with dc3 at 34. The timings still not ideal but I really didn't want to take the risks associated with being over 35. I don't want to go down that difficult antenatal choices path.

Also my parents (born in 1940s/50s) had mums who were 36 & 40when they were born. One died when parent was in early teens, the other didn't survive long enough so see me finish school. I feel like I've really missed out not having any grandparents as an adult.

However we would still maybe like another one. DP said before that him being 40 was his cut off. I wouldn't want the double nappies/double buggy life of a small gap but I wouldn't want to leave it too long either so I'd say the new cut off is 37/38.

However as it ekes getting pushed back it would surprise me if in 5 years I come back and say 42 is my new cut off!

I would never go down the ivf etc route though.

Round here 40 is a normal age to have a DC. About half the women I went to school with, now turning 35 haven't started having DCs yet so I imagine a lot of them willbe having DCs into their 40s.

Personally it would be 35. I had my ds at 20 and will be 35 this year. I am tired just looking at babies and couldn't face years of sleepless nights again. I was full of energy at 20 and didn't ruin my body.

For me personally 40 was the cut off, I had my first at 34 and second at just 38. I am nearly 45 now and the thought of ever having to go back to the baby stage fills me with dread! It's different for everyone but physically I feel I couldn't cope with pregnancy and a newborn now and I also wouldn't want to be dealing with teenagers in my 60s!

A friend of mine had three when she was about 45.

It was all she ever wanted and like buses they all came along at once!

A lot of people on this thread putting 40 and older as the cut off. In RL it's much younger than that - here's an interesting quote:
"The ONS data, which covers England and Wales, shows that in 2010, 754 babies were born to women of 45; 445 to those of 46; 203 to age 47; 113 to age 48 and 102 to age 49. A total of 141 were born to women aged 50 and over. "

It goes on to say that most of these are multiple births, indicating that most of them are assisted conceptions. Biology and time won't be denied, no matter how young we all feel.

I've got 3 - had my first at 23 and number 3 at 35. I can honestly say I found it easier as I got older (really). I am much more chilled as a Mum at 35 than I was at 23. Also the pressures of work/career were much higher while ds1 was little, now I can take a step back and I feel my priorities have changed. Financially more secure as well. I'd say 40- 42 would be my cut off but I'll not be having anymore myself!

For me my cut off is 35. It was orginally 30/31 when we started TTC when I was 27.
But I've had two late MC and only just about to have my first born child at 30. We would like a few so that will mean either having them close together or extending my 35 age limit which is unlikely as DH will be 50+ at that point.

Would say around mid-40s, but that's because my youngest is now at school (yr1) and have started looking forward to doing more grown-up things with the dc. Enjoy the conversations / shared activities / interests etc.. Feel like I don't want to do the baby stage again, even though our dc are fab.

Personally for me when having the talk with DP and laying our long term plans etc in the line, I said I wouldn't be happy carrying a child and looking after another baby/child after 30.

DC4 is due very soon and I'm 28. That's it, no more for me, I'll be getting sterilised even if I have to go private, I want a good few years to enjoy them all now and live my life with DP.

As for other people, well I guess when your body stops you then that's old enough, if you chose to use medical intervention to have a child (which I whole heartedly support) then I would say 42l but that's just a number I feel is right, although as I said, I'm done, it's got feck all to do with me.