What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

[GlitteringJasper]

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

I am 35 and feel too old to have any more.

Biologically 40 really (I will agree 18+42 formula sounds good). For me it was game over a couple of years ago. I had an unplanned pregnancy at 27 and agree with the poster who said don't do age gaps bigger than 10 years.(I was 12 when db was born).

She say I am 39

My personal cut off was 35 (which is my age now). I dithered about a year ago re another DC but DH was against. Obviously everybody's circumstances differ though.
I think it's also relevant if this is the cutoff for your first child or last child. I think having a first around 40 would be hard work as your life changes so much with DC- you will have lived 20 years with a career, disposable income, waking up on weekends when you want- it's a big adjustment. As opposed to squeezing in one last child at 40 if you already have a young one- probably going to be much easier.

For me about 33, but I'm much more paranoid than the average person and just get too tired.

Ideally 30, if life circumstances permit. 35 at a push! That's personal for me, not particularly interested when others choose to have their families unless the descision seems reckless.

Age gap between dcs probably a very large factor too, and the idea of "starting all over again" when a first child is almost grown.
Second families probably produce some dcs to older mothers too.
Although I had my dcs older, I do kind of hope they won't wait till the age to think about making me a granny!

I'm just trying to picture myself handling a thirteen year old in the throes of puberty in my fifties and I just can't. To me the fifties and sixties are when you just start to relax and escape responsibility again, kind of like a second chance at your twenties. I can't picture still having a child to take care of...

I'd say my cut off would be 35. That way by the time you're 53 they're 18 and out of your 'air a bit .

I'm 51 and have two DS, 28 and 22. There's a big upside to having babies in your early 20s IME which is that there's less impact on your yet-to-established career than there can be when you're hitting your stride mid-thirties. Added to that, having an empty nest at 50, with possibly 30 years ahead of you to enjoy unencumbered, and with the money to do it is great! . My advice is have your babies while you're young, energetic and poor.

It's a very personal thing, it would be 35 for me, if we wanted anymore. We have 2 dc, ds 2, dd 6. I'm 30 and I feel knackered now. We would have liked another but for many reasons we've decided not to. Had dd when I was 24 and ds at 28. That's it, I'm done now. Can't imagine having a baby at 40, hats off to you ladies!

It's also becoming more and more common for people to have a child in their late teens/early twenties and then another in their early forties so there's a twenty+ year gap between siblings and uncles and their nephews are the same age! To each their own but I really wouldn't want to be pregnant at the same time as my daughter...

I don't know what the cut off should be or would be for me. I am pregnant with our second child and will be 40 when he/she is born. I had our eldest at 35 conceived naturally but after 2 years TTC (started trying at 32). We have needed IVF and in the end donor eggs to conceive this baby. I'm sure for many people the fact my egg quality was poor would be an indication I'm too old but we didn't feel ready to give up. As it is our egg donor was 24 so we have avoided the old eggs issues, although admittedly not the older mother issues. We have frozen embryos but I've always hoped for 2 children and I don't think we'll be using them unless I have a dramatic change of heart.

Do I regret not starting sooner? Well yes I suppose so if I'd known we'd have such trouble conceiving. But I didn't feel ready for a child in my 20s and as far as I knew I might have got pregnant straight away rather than taking 2 years the first time and 3 years the second time.

I do remember children when I was at school who had older parents whose upbringings seemed old fashioned. I think (hope) that these days there is much more acceptance of different families. And also that people keep younger attitudes for longer. I see photos of my grandparents and they look old in their 40s. Perhaps having young children will keep us feeling younger. Let's hope.

I wouldn't judge someone else's choices. Perhaps because I know that circumstances have led to where we are and until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes ...

Carabos you've made my day

I think it's different for everyone.

I had my first at 20, so for me, the cut off point is about 28. I think if I had any more later than 28, I'd be missing out on the benefits of having my eldest so young.

I don think I've explained thy very well. At the moment, by the time I'm 40, I'll have a 20 and 18 year old. If I were to have another DC at say, 35, id still have young children dependent on me for a lot longer. I missed out on my 20s so I want to make up for it in my 40s.

For a general cut off, I'd say about 45. I know a lovely couple in their 50s who have 3 year old twins and they really can't cope.

aur the first link you posted is very unfair - she died of cancer! My friend has just died of cancer at 34, leaving behind a 2 year old. Should we all stop having babies in case we get cancer and leave them motherless?

Early thirties.

have your babies while you're young, energetic and poor

Yes. I think people worry far too much about being ready financially.

I had mine at 38yrs and 40 yrs. I am still fit now they have left home and ran 2 half marathons last year and went skiing. It is health not age. I think I had the best of both worlds, established career, had the money, still can roll around the floor, run etc.
slightly younger would have been nice but very few people get a choice.

I am 40 and trying for no.2 if it doesn't happen by the end of the year then I am not trying anymore.

I'd set my personal limit at 35, purely based on that being the tipping point where the risk of chromasomal problems starts to rapidly increase. I was lucky to have DC3 when I was 35 and we're done now. I don't actually feel too old to have another, but wouldn't like to risk the roulette wheel of potential problems.

I am pregnant with no 2 at 37. I feel old and tired. I am sure some women are fitter and have easier pregnancies. Several friends have had babies at 39 and 40 and been fine. 41 and 42 are borderline for me.

I do wish I'd had them earlier though so I can enjoy my empty nest for longer at the other end! I quite envy people my age whose dc are grown up.

I had 40 in my mind as cut off. Always wanted 3 and was lucky to be able to have DC when 34, 36 and 38.

Was really very happy with that. Mother Nature had other ideas and DC4 is due end September. I will be 42 in May.....

I sincerely hope all my previous ideas were wrong!

I think it's a very personal decision. I will be 38 when dc2 is born and that feels old enough for me.

What l am seeing though is lots of women wanting dc but putting it off to get a bit further in their career / bigger house / one last amazing holiday. I can't understand that reasoning when you're mid to late 30s.

Infertility, not meeting the one absolutely, career? Not at all.

I think the 'socially' accepted age now is late twenties or early thirties.

In reality it depends on opportunity and biology.