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AIBU?

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Original poster

This isn't sexist at all.

999 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 20/03/2015 17:55

In my DH works on night shifts each of the wives/partners cook for all the men on shift.

I'm happy with it and so are all the other women, we have been doing this for years. It means they all get a hot home made meal.

The 1 partner of a new man who has started has pulled a strop and said it sexiest and very 1950.

The reason we all enjoy cooking them as we can step away from cooking 'kids' meals and kick up the heat on curries and jerk chicken ect.
While I accept that children do eat these kind of meals within our friendship group all these are always done mild.

IABU to think it is not sexiest.

In able to do this many years ago with the Christmas bonus they brought a George foreman, slow cooker, pressure cooker and a rice cooker. Due to H&S the only thing they haven't got is a deep fat fryer. But all the others have been PACT tested.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 22:23

Yes I think it isn't clear now but originally it was very clear that the wives did the cooking.

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2015 22:23

Orlando - as said before, I think most people have agreed that he issue was with the OP contacting the newcomers wife/assuming that she would join in with the arrangement.

Enormouse · 22/03/2015 22:24

tondelayo Grin

AlternativeTentacles · 22/03/2015 22:24

Alternative - just because people don't agree with you doesn't mean that they 'lack awareness'.

It's not with me. With the actual issue of sexism. The lack of awareness of the actual issue of sexism. And a demonstration of sexism in action.

Sexism - definition: "attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of gender roles."

HTH.

PunkrockerGirl · 22/03/2015 22:26

Couldn't get a word in edgeways on that thread, bumble what with all your incoherent and unsubstantiated ramblings like this thread only worse Hmm

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2015 22:26

"attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of gender roles."

Yes Alternative. In that case shouldn't you think a SAHM role is sexist too? Wink

OrlandoWoolf · 22/03/2015 22:29

bumbley

What would be sexist would your boss telling you to leave you work and be a SAHM when you become pregnant.

Or a wife ringing you up from the workplace of your husband and telling you to give up work and be a SAHM because she thinks your husband should work full time and you should be at home.

That's sexism. And I have no doubt that still happens. It also does not happen to men.

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2015 22:31

Punk - if you'd like to start another thread on that board or PM me I'd be happy to clear up some things that you found difficult to understand. Seeing as I supported any information I gave it wasn't exactly 'unsubstantiated' :)

Now, usually this type of behaviour is frowned upon. You had plenty of opportunity to say something to me on the other thread. None of this 'couldn't get a word in' nonsense. It went on for days.

Enormouse · 22/03/2015 22:33

Bumbley, don't you get tired of playing devils advocate all the time?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/03/2015 22:34

I've just noticed that someone else said pallets - not the OP who just said loading lorries but I would be very Hmm if in 2015 they were loading them all manually.

Anyhoo, I've just noticed that the OP said there was not enough time to heat a microwave meal during the shift BUT THERE IS ENOUGH TIME FOR MANLY BACHELOR PENIS HAVER TO MAKE SAUSAGE, BEANS, EGGS, TOAST AND BACON for 20 people across the course of a night shift. While he's loading those lorries.

Of COURSE there is.

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 22:34

Well we still don't know how many women in this scenario are actually doing the cooking. The OP seems to be backtracking on that one.

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2015 22:34

Not sure why you feel the need to give me those examples Orlando. I know what sexism is. Thanks :)

(Sexism can also apply to men too so not sure why you're saying it doesn't happen to them)

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 22:36

The cooked breakfast bloke does part of that in the microwave.

AlternativeTentacles · 22/03/2015 22:36

No. A stay at home mother is surely looking after her child and will share the rest of the chores with her husband, usually because childcare is a more cost effective solution. Much like a stay at home dad would. A stay at home muppet, who does all the wifey work whilst her husband sits on his arse, is a completely different matter.

But we are not talking about that are we? It is obviously the only topic you feel comfortable enough talking about though. I can see why you revert back time and again.

And i think you have something in your eye there, usually you passively agressively smile when being deliberately obtuse.

AnneEyhtMeyer · 22/03/2015 22:36

This sort of set up definitely exists.

I worked with a woman who was married to someone who worked in a factory lorry-loading depot which did Continental Shifts (3 week pattern, so nights every third week).

One night I was at her house and she got a call from her DH to say that the person due to bring that night's food was off sick, so would she sort them out.

I was Shock that she proceeded to make up loads of sandwiches, sausage rolls and other Iceland-type party food, and then set off to deliver it saying she would be back in half an hour.

OrlandoWoolf · 22/03/2015 22:37

You keep going on about SAHM and it being a sexist role.

It isn't. But - and as you have pointed out yourself - it's the expectations.

But you still bring up the SAHM stuff. Why?

Men aren't expected to give up work or go part time when they have children. That's sexism. But you know that.

bumbleymummy · 22/03/2015 22:38

Actually enormouse - I have agreed with most people on the thread re the OP's handling of the situation. There are only a few (vocal) posters who seem to see woman cooking for men automatically = sexism and I disagree with that.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/03/2015 22:39

But if it takes all break to use the microwave for ONE bloke to heat up ONE meal how can another bloke use the microwave to make a meal for 20 during his break?

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 22:40

Anne seemingly that woman had the same attitude to this as the OP and her catering consortium.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/03/2015 22:42

Sandwiches and cold food are different to cooked meals that involve cooking rice and 'home made poppadoms' - I can buy that as sandwiches don't require storing, heating, paraphernalia and (much) washing up afterwards.

AlternativeTentacles · 22/03/2015 22:42

Bringing up the SAHM stuff everything someone mentions sexism is in itself sexist. Women are more than SAHM. Some of us dont even have kids, and never wanted any.

SilverBirch2015 · 22/03/2015 22:43

Anne, could it be the same place? How exciting if it isSmile

OrlandoWoolf · 22/03/2015 22:43

woman cooking for men automatically = sexism and I disagree with that.

A woman who automatically cooks for men - I think she has accepted a gender role without thinking.

My man is hungry. I must cook for him. Even though I've had a really busy day and am knackered, I can't expect him to cook for himself. He's only a man and I must cook him a hot meal.

If anything. it also shows low expectations of her husband.

JanineStHubbins · 22/03/2015 22:45

Another epic bumbley derail.

ilovesooty · 22/03/2015 22:45

Can't be the same place Silver. These men have to have a hot home cooked meal. Apparently.