This isn't sexist at all.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

In my DH works on night shifts each of the wives/partners cook for all the men on shift.

I'm happy with it and so are all the other women, we have been doing this for years. It means they all get a hot home made meal.

The 1 partner of a new man who has started has pulled a strop and said it sexiest and very 1950.

The reason we all enjoy cooking them as we can step away from cooking 'kids' meals and kick up the heat on curries and jerk chicken ect.
While I accept that children do eat these kind of meals within our friendship group all these are always done mild.

IABU to think it is not sexiest.

In able to do this many years ago with the Christmas bonus they brought a George foreman, slow cooker, pressure cooker and a rice cooker. Due to H&S the only thing they haven't got is a deep fat fryer. But all the others have been PACT tested.

Why can the men not cook their own food and bring it in?

I'd be outraged if my partner told me I was expected to go into his place of work and cook for him and his colleagues to be fair Piper. I'm not paid to work there! And it's hilarious that you think that one of the bonuses that might incite her to use up her time to work unpaid is she might get to cook something other than kids meals. It's a bit like saying doing your husband's laundry is great because it makes a change from doing the kids' laundry! Unless you are saying 'all women loooooooooooooooooove cooking', because, you know, that's a bit sexist.

Sorry, it's nice if you who want to do this for your partner; that's your prerogative to do whatever you like for your partner, but YABVVVU to expect some one else to do this to want to do this for her partners work colleagues.

1 man doesn't have a partner so does a full English breakfast

Huh?

I really don't get the connection between being single and egg, bacon and sausage?

'One man doesn't have a partner so he does a full English breakfast' ... And dreams of the day when he finds a wife and is therefore able to finally expand his diet beyond fryups and pot noodled. Op, you're too much!

Ok just seen the update. But surely this is no different to working a day shift? No one would expect a cooked meal from home brought in for several work colleagues every day?

I'm with her on this.

how utterly weird. I don't blame her! Maybe she hates cooking or can't cook well. Either way....it's up to her

Oh, just seen your update: She isn't expected to cook at all. So what's the point of this thread then?!

It was only an invitation to join in, she doesn't have to do it.

I messaged her on her husband phone using DH phone, the text basically said every night shift us partners cook something for everyone and would you like to join in.

It actually works out cheaper, as microwaves meals for DH was costing a bomb and it was taking all break to use the microwave.

To each their own but I do think it's sexist. I cannot imagine it working if the situation was reversed.

This is bonkers .

The new wife is right.

When DH did shifts the men used to get together to cook for themselves.

Worts it's probably because his penis gets in the way when he tries to make a curry

Why can't the single man make a stew? Why can't the men occasionally cook themselves to take in? Why the structure of a rota?

I'm all kinds of confused about this

This is bizarre.

It sounds sexist because you're on here asking why the woman doesn't want to cook everyone dinner. Her partner is perfectly capable of taking up his place on the rota.

It is an odd arrangement and if she works when is she meant to prepare a feast for a team of men?

There is a team of 20, so it's only every 3 months for each partner.

I does the curries in which costs around £35 that's including the rice and homemade popadoms.

It does feel a bit like stepford wives.

She's nothing to do with you, or her partners job. She's a person in her own right with her own interests and free time, she doesn't need to piggy back onto a man to fill her evenings.

I'm also a bit open mouthed at the chaps spending the Christmas bonus on some lovely (ahem) cooking gadgets so the little women have a bigger choice of things to cook.
Me, I'd prefer the bonus to be given to individuals to spend on something for themselves/their homes/their wives/their families.

See at first I got the impression that she was just judging a group of women who enjoy cooking...and calling them sexist when that was not actually the case.

Now I'm getting the distinct impression she was asked/expected to do the same and she quite rightly refused (still not sure where the 'strop' came in).

The single guy/English breakfast post was just bizarre.

So all in all, I now think the woman is right and the whole thing is weirdly 1950s and sexist.

Of course it's sexist. Otherwise you would have asked her DH if he wanted to contribute to the rota, rather than messaging her.

Why can't the single man make a stew?

That is the best line on the thread.

And I want to know too.

MAKE A STEW, SINGLE MAN, DAMN YOU

Basically it's a 3 week rota, so days, afternoon and nights.

Men can cook, well apart from DH. But I love cooking so I cook and he loads the dishwasher.

ActuAlly the men should pUt Themselves on the rota and if they get their partners to do their turn then that is between the man and his partner.

My DH usually makes his own packed lunch. I would expect him to cook the shared workforce meal. It really is up to the individual family to decide who cooks.

The other thing is, are they having 2 main meals a day? It could get expensive. I often freeze leftovers and DH sometimes takes a portion for his lunch but an extra entire main meal would have to be cooked every week.

I accept that I am unreasonable and will message her apologising.