to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

You see, there's an assumption in this easy-to-spell/pronounce thing there. Your name is probably perfectly easy to spell and pronounce in Ireland, but there's a tendency to over-universalise the extent to which names that are easy to spell and pronounce in England as easy to spell and pronounce everywhere, and that's just not the case.

There probably is no name in the world that can be spelled and pronounced everywhere with equal ease.

There probably is no name in the world that can be spelled and pronounced everywhere with equal ease.

Adam?

That's true. My name is completely mainstream in the UK and US but I'd be stuffed if I moved elsewhere because 99% of other cultures just don't get it at all. For example the registrar at my wedding who was otherwise a perfectly fluent English speaker made a total dogs' breakfast of it.

As a child people were constantly mispronouncing and misspelling my name. It actually has lead to a lifetime of problems for me, but they aren't serious ones, just minor things. Things like awards or recognition were my name was always spelt wrong. I was also too anxious to correct people more than once and as such I had teachers who would say my name wrong my whole year with them. I am quite an unmemorable person so people would always misremember my name and it was embarrassing for both of us when I corrected them.

Like I said, just minor problems, but yes they were and still are quite prevalent in my life. I do think it's your choice what you name your child and everyone else should butt out. If you like the name and your DH likes the name then screw everyone else.

Some people want their kids to stand out and be unique.
Some kids like that too. Others don't.

Even with remembering the name, these problems aren't limited to names from other cultures. My name is Catherine and the number of people who call me Caroline is, to be frank, just weird.

YANBU. Don't most people have to spell their surnames anyway (unless they are Jones or Smith obviously)? It isn't much extra effort to spell the first name too and people have to do that even with common names as there is often more than one way of spelling them. Hardly a "lifetime of problems"!

I have a very common name, like Katie Smith. There are a couple of options but it's very easily spelt.

But gosh the versions I get including the equivalent of Sm'iff. Fucking apostrophe?!

My DC have names with only one spelling. They will have enough bother with idiots: I'm not going to increase their spelling time.

And yy to what everyone has said about choosing a name on behalf of your child. It doesn't matter whether the parents don't mind having to spell it: will the child?

Cross post marynary. No "of cours about i

It doesn't matter whether the parents don't mind having to spell it: will the child?

Who can guess? Presumably different individuals will have different preferences. In my view, you choose the best you can and remain open to them changing it if, for some reason, they decide it's not for them.

You can see my name - very easy and straightforward. But in the last 10 years or so I am always been asked how it is spelt. I.e is it with a C or a K? So apart from a fairly well known actress, is it ever spelt with a C, really? Unless it is Caitlin which is a completely different name.

So, even the easiest names seem to cause confusion!

DD3 (5.5yo) has a very traditional name that works in both French and English, spelt in the very traditional way with plenty of Es, but she will definitely have to spend a lot of her life spelling it as it apparently has many variants and she is often mispelled. She's not bothered. Unless we're going to call children Biff and Chip, this is going to happen. People often have to spell their surnames as well. Not a problem.

YANBU, but I have a French, v difficult to spell surname and I pretty much DO have to spell it every day. Or correct pronunciation. It's really annoying and I wish I'd thought more seriously about keeping my maiden name. Although I am resigned to it now.

I have very traditional English names but which are uncommon, which people spelled fine until about 15 years ago when suddenly everyone became aware other cultures existed and now spell and pronounce them in all sorts of random ways.

We decided dcs would have names that dyslexic MrNC could spell (unlike mine!) and that would be comprehensible in at least UK, Germany and other European languages. Certainly makes my life easier telling teachers etc what they are called.

I do know an Adham and an Addam though (said Adam) - transliteration from other languages.

As others said, there are so many variations now of even common names that it is always wise to spell your name out when its important it is spelt correctly. I did once know someone with a complicated Irish name, pronounced ov-een but spelt Aoibheainn and she got very frustrated with people saying it wrong. Really it shouldn't be that hard to remember and its rude to not make an effort. Most Irish names aren't really that difficult to say, though there are still a few that challenge me (and I am Irish).

Do people think that other nationalities moving to the England should also only use English names?

I wonder if it's a fear of standing out that leads people to say "Ooh, dear, it'll be terribly hard to spell". They feel socially uncomfortable even thinking about another person being conspicuous, so fall back on this spuriously rational reason.

Arf at psycho babble 'fear of standing out' on a thread about names.

It's absolutely fine for Mary and john to name their child 'aoidesorchacamogee' or whatever. But to actually refuse to admit there is a downside- mostly that the kid might struggle with it, is odd.

People often have to spell their surnames as well. Not a problem.

I have to spell mine.It may not be what you would call a problem, but it is very irritating. Even more irritating if your parents chose to be 'creative' with spelling.

I have a very common surname that can be spelt several different ways. It's not a major problem, but it is bloody annoying.

Fortunately my first name can only be spelt one way!

I've got a 21 year old who confesses he would have liked an easier name. I find endlessly spelling my surname or correcting the inevitably incorrect pronunciation a bit dull.
Acting as if that means I have no imagination, have not considered the prospect of living abroad or I am parochial, is weird.

It's just annoying. You factor in how annoying it will be and settle upon whether it bothers you or not. It's just a judgement cal and that's fine.
But pretending that any issue whatsoever with living with a name with an unusual spelling is all in the mind of the dull witted or mean spirited is not especially sensible .

YANBU but be prepared for all your xmas cards to be addressed to you and the kids. . My pal has two DC with Irish names and I find them impossible to say let alone spell.

I have an impossible to spell name myself - I like it. It's hard to pronounce as well. I sometimes use my easy to spell middle name if I am giving my name in a hurry but otherwise I just spell it out. People do spell it wrong a lot but I can't say it bothers me. - perhaps i should care but I dont.

Maybe your could consider giving them easy to spel Middle names?

I'm used to having to spell out my name. Essentially a rare first name, that's paradoxically well known, plus a double barrel surname.

No biggie for me. But then, I will often have to ask people to spell their names. Which might irritate you, but I'm partly deaf and even with hearing aids, some letters can sound alike, etc

I always have to spell out my name. Sometimes I deliberately mispronounce it on the basis that if I say it phonetically (as oppose to how it's actually pronounced) people will grasp it more easily.

It's not caused me a lifetime of hardship, but it has been a lifetime of being just that little bit different. I'm fine with that now - less so as a timid child. The 3 minutes of correcting someone - yes, easy enough. The entire life of being just that teensy bit different to the Janes and the Sarahs - that's not something to be dismissed, or relished.

I have what looks like a common name but it has a different pronunciation. I always have to spell it out and you can see people thinking I am the next Hyacinth.

I have just had to accept it and I answer to most variations now just for ease. I can't help but warm to people who can say my name correctly and also remember to say it properly whenever we meet again.