to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

YANBU, people can learn to spell a name. I'm Scottish and know a Niamh, a Mhairi and a Ruaridh - it hasn't caused any issues yet!

YANBU.
My best friends surname is whalley (pronounced wall-ee) and sooo many people cock up the spelling the first time but it doesn't cause any life long problems, I know its a second name but same principle

I have an "english" name (actually it originated in Scotland, but there you go) and there are two ways to spell it. I stopped caring about that years ago. I married and took his English surname, which I have to spell out to everyone.

My kids have Welsh names (I'm Welsh) with their father's English surname. "He'll be spelling that out for the rest of his life"... mostly it's their surname I've had to spell out to people and correct people putting extra sounds in to it.

But obviously no-one who isn't given a "classy, english" first name can ever be anything important. rolls eyes

Yanbu if you are talking the actual spelling of a little known name/foreign name etc etc.
YABU if you are talking about people making up their own spellings/trying to be all unique etc.

YANBU. I have a completely normal, very very common first name and have to spell it out all the time. My DCs with unusual names hardly ever have to spell them out.

Having to spell your name out is hardly a big deal either! I've never had a big problem with it.

Yanbu to be annoyed by it. I don't know people feel the need to put down peoples choices for their name. However I have friend whose name is Rachel spelt Rachael, it winds get up no end. So can see their point.

Also I have a fairly common name. My birthday cards from family in Ireland are always spelt wrong. Doesn't both me a bit.

YYANBU. We have just given DD an unusual name that she will probably have to spell frequently and correct mispronounciation of. Our rationale was that I have to spell my very common 80s name as it has several spellings and is pronounced very differently in regional accents (which i hated as a child moving home frequently). We love her name, it suits her perfectly and we have had mostly positive responses. We put the pronunciation in the text/Facebook post announcing her birth and have had few issues from friends and family. Except MIL who consistently calls her a similar but wrong name in every text she sends.

My name is one of the most common names imaginable but I always have to state precisely how to spell it because there are two possible spellings think Anne/Ann. Hardly an issue. Same with my surname - dead common but three possible spellings so I am always having to say "with an X but without a Y". Not really a blight on my life. Yanbu.

DD has an Irish name that sounds completely different from how it looks. I have worried about this but I love it and hope that she will too. It's already caused confusion in hospitals and playgroups though...

The names are spelt correctly. Deliberately didn't anglicize them as this would have resulted in unique (and incorrect) names.

DS has had his name for 2 years now and most people are used to it. The comments have just started up again as I talked about the names we are considering for DC2.

Searching opinions on the names on here has not helped!

My name has two letters and I have to spell it out frequently. My husband's surname is among the most common in the country and he still has to spell it - there are no guarantees in life. People who bang on about this kind of thing need to stop worrying so much about things that might happen and embrace the fact that people have chosen a name they like. There is so much necessary negativity in the world that seeking it out seems like the act of a masochist.

YABU. I speak as a person with a Welsh name that I always have to spell and I have friends who still get it wrong.

If it's spelt wrongly on an official document it has to be redone It's a total pain.

My boss had the unusual name Caradoc and I saw many attempts to spell his name. Definitely the funniest was Craddock.

Listen, until I hear English people fuss about calling their children names that can be easily read and pronounced in China and what a cruelty it is to hive them names that cannot, I will continue to raise an eyebrow.

It's not that much trouble to learn an unfamiliar name and if you can't be arsed, that tells people all they need to know.

Yabu

I have a tricky surname. I gave my son a first name which he often has to spell or correct the pronunciation even though it's the correct spelling iyswim.

He's 21. He constantly tells me that is a pain in the arse. He has a point.

My maiden name is Asian and I got fed up with spelling it out every other day on the phone at work. And then having to repeat it because there was a particular bit that people always assumed I'd got wrong so they missed it out.
I used to joke that my only requirement for a husband was a surname of a single syllable - which I have now but there are still two ways to spell it. But much easier to spell out a name with four letters once than a name with twelve letters twice.

YANBU if the name is spelt that way or in that variation originally. Have DD with 'tricky' spelling name and DS who has 'normal' name but which is very unusual and weird for the country we now live in. Life goes on and a few repetitions never killed anyone.

YABU if you are choosing to spell Olivia as Ohliveea.

I have to say YABU because I had a surname before I got married that was an unusual spelling of a fairly common surname. Clearly a surname is different in that you parents didn't choose it, but still I know what a pain it is to constantly have to spell your name to people and then have them ignore what you actually said and write down what they think they heard. Agree with the PP about it being a pain getting official documents changed - this happened more often than you'd think.

I married someone with an unusual surname - learnt first week that you automatically have to spell it out and it's surprising how often that happens.

Having said that eldest has very old fashioned but straight forward abbreviation as a name - not unheard of as a name in own right.

Spelt as it sounds and pronounced as spelt very easily - yet people mange to cock it up.

YABU to think they it won't be a common event that they will have to spell it.

YANBU to think it not a good enough reason not to use the names spelt traditionally but correctly.

It can change anyway - my name was reasonably common when I was born and only ever spelt one way - nobody ever asked me how to spell it. Then around 15 years ago someone popped up in the public eye with an odd spelling of my name - think double letters and a y instead of an i and since then I've always been asked, so no point worrying about it!

While YANBU to choose the names, YABU to not acknowledge that it may cause some difficulty for your DC down the line, of the 'minor but irritating' kind. I wanted an ethnic name for DC but husband (from that ethnic background) said no. He has an ethnic name himself and finds it a nuisance working in an increasingly globalised economy where emails are often [email protected]. He gets sick of spelling his name out over the phone or emails going awry because people think they know how to spell it.

I actually think it depends - DP has an Irish name (and is Irish, so had no issues growing up) but despite many years living in the UK, most people mispronounce it still, including friends who have known him for years - its just a sound they don't understand and once they see it written down its worse.

He has said firmly if we have children they will not have Irish names as even if they don't grow up here, they will presumably want to travel. Another friend with a 'hard' Irish name who works in an international company finds it a burden.

The problem is, it depends very much on what your children do when they're adults - as children, in a situation where they will meet a new class and new teacher once a year, its not a problem. Professionally, if they often go to meetings, if they travel for work, if they're in customer facing roles meeting new people every day - it could irritate them. Or they might not mind.

We both have Irish names, and I would say one out of every 5 people I meet questions the pronunciation or spelling of my name, and that's fine. But for DP its every single person, and they usually never quite get it right.

So I think by all means, honour your heritage, but it is worth considering what kind of name you choose and how much of a stretch it will be in the country they're likely to live - there's a long way between Sean and Diarmuid, for example.

When naming my child I made the decision it had to be instantly pronouncable on sight - I am a secondary school teacher and I feel so sorry for students who have to tell teachers every year how to say their names! I end up with names written on post its for the first few weeks of term until I get them sussed but when you are learning 200 odd names its an added challenge.

So personally I wouldn't choose to do it but also wouldn't criticise others who do.

I have an unusual name and have to spell it, but DH has a very common very plain surname and that needs spelling too due to variations as others have said, so it’s really not an issue, it’s just how it is.

"A lifetime of problems" is SO dramatic it’s purely funny. If my only problems in life were my silly name I’d be extremely happy.