to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

YANBU. I have a Middle Eastern surname and a first name that is English (and Middle Eastern) but has numerous spellings. I am always spelling out my full name and telling people how to pronounce my last name. An extra minute or two isn't that bad.

I've had this comment made when I've said that I'm double-barrelling my surname upon marriage, apparently it'll be unfair on my future children to have to remember two surnames and spell out mine for their lives

An Irish name in Ireland is an indication of education and probably middle-class status;

Yes, it made me smile to see a post about how you would never see a high court judge called Conor here. In Ireland, it would raise no eyebrow.

YANBU I have a reasonably common name but people still mishear it (accent I guess) and I have to spell it sometimes. Your DC may end up living in Ireland anyway :)

I thought Leslie was the boys' version and Lesley was the girls' version.

I don't think it's a lifetime of problems, but it is a lifetime of minor irritations. I've always thought it must be a pain in the arse to have to spell your name out every time you give it to someone on the phone.

Yanbu, I have the least common spelling of a first name that has a few variations and have to spell it every time, and a surname I need to at least prompt people the first few letters. It's never bothered me, generally other people are more bothered than me when they can't spell it. I spell it probably once a week if I speak to official people (sorting out bills/Dr/dentist etc, other than that it's never a problem. I often think this when people say it in the baby names threads, seems like people massively overestimate what an issue it is.

It's not a valid reason really. I have never spent so much time spelling my name since I got married - I changed to his last name - which is a very common name which happens to have 2 or 3 common spellings, so one has to clarify which one it is.

You just get used to it and do it, its hardly a big deal.

"When naming my child I made the decision it had to be instantly pronouncable on sight"

Same here. DD has a name that is easily pronounced and easily spelt. This stems from me having a very unusual name that a surprising number of people couldn't figure out how to spell. It is only 4 letters and pronounced phonetically.

I have an easy name (4 letters) but people still get it wrong - even when messaging me on fb when name is right there!

We gave DS an Irish name with a C and have since found out that it's more popular with a K here - was a bit disappointed about that but it's only four letters. Me and DH both have the less common variations of our first names too although they are far from outlandish names.

Micheal is Me-hawl

YA possibly BU.
It may well depend on the personality of the child. I have an unusual Welsh name but have lived in England all my life. I am naturally an introvert and not the most socially confident. I find my name adds an unwelcome complication to any new social interactions. I think this is much worse than what people with simple variations on common names experience. I had one school teacher who called me the wrong name for 5 years. I have had work colleagues who never get my name right. I can hear the pause and then anxiety in the tone of someone calling out my name in a waiting room.
While I would not change my name I have been careful to pick a reasonably popular, easy to pronounce name for my DD.
So while I would say name your child a name you love, do have a little think about how they may experience this. Possibly consider a less uncommon middle name so they will always have a choice.

I have a DN called Phoebe. Her twin sister is called Anna. DSis did have a lot of people say at the time that it was not fair to give one an easy to spell name and the other a hard one, particularly with phonics approach at school. Phoebe learnt to write her name just as easily and it has never been a problem. Her name is sometimes misspelt so she has had some interesting birthday cards (most commonly eo rather then oe) but then Anna often gets Hannah. She is 12 and it has never bothered her.

I know someone who called her daughter Neave rather than Niamh because of concerns that it would be hard for her to learn the spelling and people would not know how to spell it. She reckons her DD gets far more comments about the fact that she has spelt her name incorrectly than she ever would have done about how to pronounce/spell it if it had been spelt correctly that she really regrets the decision.

I have an English friend called Amy. Nice, normal, easily-pronounceable name, right? Except she moved to France when she was twenty and has spent the rest of her life so far spelling it to all and sundry.

YANBU.

BUT, I have an unusual first name and surname. Every single time I tell someone it they screw up their face and say variations with me repeating it until they get it right. And over the phone, I just spell it out automatically now because it has caused no end of trouble with people just assuming my name and getting it very wrong.

And people just don't listen properly. I'd tell them my name which is perfectly understandable, but because it wasn't a 'normal' name they'd instantly begin calling me things like Jane, and a thousand other variants. In the end I just let them call me what they want because I'm sick of the laziness and constant corrections.

YANBU. You might call your child "Ben" nice and easy, hey? Better hope Ben doesn't move abroad.

YABU I have a difficult to pronounce, unusual name and it is a pain in the butt. I actually go by "Mary Smith" for taxis, take aways, etc. I have friends who have known me for years who struggle with my name and unfortunately the short version of it is a mild swear word so that doesn't help either.

Stillill And I do find this happens so much more with Irish names than other ethnic names.

I will admit to have not having come into contact with the less mainstream Irish names - but from my teaching view point names of an African origin seem to floor most teachers initially!

It's not a lifetime of problems but yeah it's a pain in the arse.
I have a difficult surname and I wouldn't deliberately give anyone an unspellable name.

I have a slightly unusual name which u usually have to spell but it doesn't really bother me I like my name.

What does make me laugh/sigh depending on my mood is that people seem to panic and read it as another name which has a couple of letters in common but is actually spelt and pronounced completely differently. Think Andrew into Anthony. I can only assume it's because they switch it to the more familiar name for them subconsciously.

Yanbu. I am called Catherine. No one would have moped around my parents wailing about that one, but what a spelling nightmare. I then married someone with an awkward surname. I thought the spelling 'didn't matter' until the first time I realised that they couldn't find my dry cleaning in the alphetabised system. And I live somewhere that nobody could hope to spell. Giving the address I have to say 'let me spell that for you' before they even try. It's as bad as it gets. But. There are tougher challenges in life. Catherine rocks. So does my new surname.

Interestingly, my daughter has an unusual name that people don't 'hear' so they ask what it is or how it's spelt. But from her point of view as a pre schooler is is phonetically solid. Couldn't be more it sounds like it looks.

I'm Irish and personally wouldn't give my child an Irish name that would provoke a 'how do you pronounce it? how do you spell it?' every time they met someone new. It may only take five seconds to explain the name to each person but add up all those five second encounters in each day and it can get irritating in the extreme.

So YANBU to call your child an Irish name that would be unknown to most people in the UK but likewise other people aren't necessarily being unreasonable when they point out that carrying the name Orla instead of Orlaith may well turn out to be a pain in the behind.

I do hate all that 'high court judge test' malarkey people come out with though. Christmas Humphreys was a judge.

YANBU. Besides, whatever name you choose someone will find a way to criticise it.

I'm one of those with a common name that has multiple widely accepted variations. On top of that I have an equally common anglicised irish surname which people seem incapable of spelling correctly. It hasn't damaged me in any way. There are very few names that won't require your child to spell it all the time (even John and Jane have alternate spellings now. Maybe Bob would be safe?).

Just pick a name you like. As PP have mentioned, at least with names like Orlaith and Diarmid friends, teachers and relatives will eventually learn how to spell it. With names like Ann/Anne, Catherine/Katherine, Clare/Claire people seem chronically incapable of remembering which spelling you use, even after knowing you for 20 or 30 years.

You wouldn't be unreasonable for naming your children a unique name. But 40 years down the line, having it being constantly questioned, misspelt and misheard, it's unlikely they'll thank you for it.

Also in the age of social media being so recognisable by having such an unusual name will also be an issue (it has been for me as I'm the only one with my name, so very searchable - makes me very wary about what types of social media I keep and privacy settings - more so than the millions of Lauren's/Sarah's etc etc). My job is also one where I meet new people on a regular basis. Clients never remember my name and reception staff only know it's me when clients say 'it's the one with the funny/unusual name'. Not cool after the tenth client I can tell you.

What pisses me off about these posts is that it's not about the parents - it's about the children and the effect of the name on them in 5/10/30 years time.