to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

Stop giving weight to the daft things people say (especially on subject that are none of their business). Everyone knows how to spell Sinead these days (though I recall the first time I heard of Sinead O'Conner I did puzzle over her name for a while - ah the 80's).

BTW I have a fairly "normal" well known plain spelling name and it too is spelt incorrectly half the time and if I go abroad I get called all manner of unique versions.

How do you say Diarmuid?

Sort of like Dermot but with a softer er and d not a t!

YANBU. I have a short, 'safe', popular-in-the-70's English name (think Sarah, Helen, Nicola) that I have to spell all the time as there are 2 very common spellings.

My married surname is only 5 letters long, it's English but relatively rare and the first letter could easily be a 'K' or a 'C', so I have to spell that too.

My DD has an Irish name, one of the more common ones, there's already a couple in the (Catholic) school she goes to. It was the only name me and DH agreed on and I still love it, I know she'll have to spell it out but I think you'd be hard pushed to find a name that everyone would get correct all the time anyway.

I have a 10 letter name i could always spell it no problem i have had no life long problems with my name yanbu your son's will cope with the struggle

More irritating than having to spell it is how often people pronounce it incorrectly.
My DD often has her name announced in competition. It's irksome that she stands up to be announced and her name is incorrect. It's particularly annoying when she is announced having won something and they get her name wrong.

I would never chose a tricky name if I had my time again.

YABU what is the point of calling someone, for example, Orlaith, when it is pron Orla but nobody in GB will know that, so the person bearing such a name will spend their lifetime saying NO it is/it is not,,,,,blah blah.
Seems a bit selfish to me tbh.

Both my names are extremely unusual. Always have to spell them.

Seriously not that big a deal.

In fact they are so unusual that it's quite a nice talking point/ice breaker as new people often start by faking me about them.

^^ faking? Asking!

I have the welsh spelling of a very plain name. Always gets spelt wrong

YABU to think it's not going to be annoying for them.
YABU to think they will just have to tell someone how to spell it / pronounce it only once.
YANBU to choose a particular name for your dc that you like and you feel it links to your heritage.
YwillBU if you then get huffity about people spelling it wrong.

Yanbu. I have a normal first name but it's not the most common spelling and my surname whilst straightforward often gets misheard or spelled with the wrong first letter (despite me spelling it out, always have to do it twice!) like you say - it's the work of seconds and really no big deal. DD has an unusual name which had a few raised eyebrows at first just because it isn't that common, and we purposefully didn't speak to people about it before having her as I couldn't give a stuff if people like what we choose to name our child and it's less easy to be rude once we've named her! I'd say just go with what you like and ignore other people, they can make you doubt names you love with unnecessary negativity.

YANBU, of course. What Apocalypse said, and also, the people who actually think you are handicapping your children by calling them anything other than Jack and Sophie clearly have a pretty restricted world view. My parents gave me an utterly ordinary top five name for my nationality and generation, coupled with an equally ordinary surname. But I left my home country in my early 20s, and have since then lived in five countries and several languages, in none of which my first name or surname is easily graspable or pronounceable.

I had a son while living in England, and gave him a name from my home culture, plus my surname. Like me, in this country he will have to spell both names, but who knows where he and I will end up? There's no such thing as a name that's universally obvious and easily spelled.

Yes Backforgood. Exactly.

By all means chose an unconventional name. But it will be a thing for your child. They will embrace it or be irritated - who knows which.
But the fact that it should be easy will not make it so.

I love my Dcs name. I love my surname. It doesn't irk me enough to regret it but my dc at times could live without the shit. Having to explain your name every single time is annoying. Of course it is. It's a choice.

The idea that it's too burdensome to inflict on your child is ridiculous. But it's a pain for sure.

I've got an Irish surname that no English person can spell or pronounce. I just automatically say it, spell it, say it again, repeat spell the last two letters.

I have not found this to be a life trauma tbh. I do slightly judge English (and it always is white English people) people who correct me on the pronunciation after I've spelled out the name, like I've misspoken my own name, but again, this is not a personal trauma!

YABU what is the point of calling someone, for example, Orlaith, when it is pron Orla but nobody in GB will know that, so the person bearing such a name will spend their lifetime saying NO it is/it is not,,,,,blah blah.
Seems a bit selfish to me tbh.

Orlaith/Orla is actually a poor example, because the Irish spelling has been modernised to Orla anyway...

But your post seems rather ignorant of the fact that cultural heritage is often important to people, and they might want to give their children names to reflect that. What's the problem with that?

YANBU my first name is very "normal", relatively common, but there are at least three common ways to spell it so I have always had to spell it out. My married surname is really simple, one syllable, but starts "wr" and I consistently have to tell people that it starts with a w, not an r. So many names have multiple spellings, it's common to ask how to spell a name and common to have to spell out your name, no big deal.

I think difficult to pronounce is a different issue, but even then mispronunciation can happen with the simplest looking name - eg people insist on missing the "a" off the end of my sister's pretty common, obvious to pronounce name, repeatedly, despite being told otherwise.

And I do find that Irish names/people are especially subject to this kind of sneering, particularly on Mumsnet. Why is that?

I have Irish names and live in France so have to spell it every time. Also it sometimes takes people a few goes to pronounce it correctly. It's not a big deal and doesn't bother me.

I do give a much simpler fake name for Starbucks scenarios though.

I agree the people who say this sort of thing sound parochial in the extreme.

I think if it is an Irish name etc then they can easily learn.
The lifetime of problems come when the parent decides on a different spelling than the mainstream one. Then you would have to keep spelling and explaining that your parents didn't make a mistake, they just wanted to be 'original'. That must get very wearing when they could have saved you the bother.

When we chose a more unusual spelling of DD's name, my mum was very disapproving, she said "She'll be having to spell that out all her life....Now her middle name is so much nicer,you should have chosen that..." DD's middle name is Catherine....how many different ways are there of spelling that?!

I think some British people think that we're really British too and are jst beng awkward or pretentious with our Irish names, janine.

I work (in England) with an Irish woman called Cliona. She can't win. She either has clients joking about her being the cleaner (that's essentially how it's pronounced), or they call her Clee-on-ar, and then wonder who is emailing them when they see the name written. So she's started introducing herself as Clee-on-ar to make it easier for clients.
This worries me as my DD's name is even less obvious...

Diarmuid is not like Dermot with a softer er and a d instead of a t

it's pronounced more like Dear-mud/Dear-mid depending on where abouts you are from

I have an impossible Irish name although its increasingly popular in the UK but I don't live in either the UK or Ireland so do have to explain its pronunciation and counter intuitive spelling regularly but it's the work of seconds and most people get it first time.