to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

All good points except

YABU what is the point of calling someone, for example, Orlaith, when it is pron Orla but nobody in GB will know that, so the person bearing such a name will spend their lifetime saying NO it is/it is not,,,,,blah blah.
Seems a bit selfish to me tbh.

This is exactly what annoys me! The point is it is a name we like, it honours our heritage and it's our business. And this exaggeration of NOBODY in GB will know it and they will spend their LIFETIME correcting is what annoys me.

Of course I am not annoyed when I have to spell it out as I expect to. And I am not annoyed at having to correct pronunciation. I am just annoyed with the extreme criticism as above.

And I do find this happens so much more with Irish names than other ethnic names.

No, YANBU.

DC have first names from DHs heritage, both common and well known here - but DC 1's name is spelled slightly differently in DHs country. Think Elisabeth or Bryan, for instance. They like it.

Our surname is a ten letter, three syllable tongue twister though and is usually mangled!

The PP who said that it's made up, "unique" spellings like Oleeveah which are likely to cause annoyance for DC in adult life has it.

Cliodhna surely?
I have a friend with this name and it was such a pain for her that she changed her name to her middle name.
Janine I was not 'sneering' I can assure you. and I love the assumptions that people make.

YABU and YANBU.

It's not unreasonable for people to point out the issue (this is the YABU part). I have a first name that was very unusual when I was born (quite common now, though) and it was NOT a case of "once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis." My college tutor never once pronounced my name correctly over the course of three years. And spelling it went "My name is Yves" [blank look] "That's Y-V-E-S" [they write Y-E-V-S] "No, Y-V-E-S" [blank look] "The V and the E are the other way round" [they sigh deeply, cross it out and correct it]. Then repeat EVERY TIME YOU MEET ANYONE. If they have your name written down, do the equivalent for pronunciation. Most people STILL don't remember how to spell/pronounce your name even on the third or fourth time of going through it. (My name isn't actually Yves, obviously, but the analogy is pretty close).

My life became much easier when my name suddenly became popular. Now I give my name and people say "Is that Y-V-E-S?" and I say "Yes" and we both get on with our days.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't give your child a hard-to-spell-or-pronounce name (this is the YANBU part). But you shouldn't do it because you have convinced yourself that it's "about three seconds out of their time" or that they aren't meeting people daily. They might have a job where they are meeting new people daily. It might take them significantly more than three seconds to get the correct spelling/pronunciation of their name across. Some people they know may NEVER get the hang of it. If you can accept all that and still want to give them the name then go for it. They'll cope. But do it in spite of the problems rather than because you're desperately pretending that there won't be any.

Hahaha, you know why, Janine!

Irish names are just not PLU. And that goes too for anything too black-sounding, poor-sounding, or god forbid, just straight up common.

Try asking on Baby Names what name to put with Kayden, Sinead, and Precious. You'd blow up the forum!

I just think that if you live in say, Essex, and have hardly ever even visited Ireland, calling your dd Orlaith rahter than Orla is a wee bit pretentious. And not fair on the child.

I also think it is becoming less and less of a problem as communication takes place by email and online, so you are usually writing out your own name for your energy company/insurers/council tax etc rather than having to dictate it over the phone. People you work with will usually be in email contact so will have your name spelled out as your email address or in your signature. The opportunities to mis-spell a name are becoming fewer and fewer.

mind you I tell you waht, all of us, even those called say Jane or Clare have to spell out our names over and over, so it is not that different.

I see a big difference between Irish/Gaelic/any other culture real names, and the spelling of an English name in the weirdest possible random way for the sake of uniqueness. Tell me your name is Aoife or Kunegunda and I'll think wow, lovely, and ask you to spell it - and once I know it, I'll recognise that name like any other name. But tell me your name is Daanyol or Aemii or Emyleey where there is no way to know how to spell it their 'unique' way and you'd write it down as Daniel, Amy or Emily, then I find myself wondering where that fine line is between special and pretentious.

Good grief.
My parents and older siblings are Irish. My family moved to England just before I was born. I think of myself as half Irish and am very proud of my heritage.
What is all the anti Irish chippiness about thinking a tricky spelling can be a bit of a pain in the arse? Have I missed a thing?

I have a very boring but can-be-spelt-2-ways first name, and have had now 2 OMG-how-do-you-spell-that-are-you-sure surnames.

It's a PITA.

The first name is more of a PITA, tbh - because family members who have known me my entire life still spell it wrong.
People who email me spell it wrong, despite having my email address in front of them.
People who type my email address into their address bar have "fail to send" messages because they spell it wrong, because they somehow can NOT deal with the correct spelling (it's a very simple name!).

I have no issue with people choosing traditional foreign names for their children because they can be learnt. People will learn them, especially if they know they're more complicated, but I do take issue with "yooneek" spellings because they're just unnecessarily complicated. For e.g. Micheal - people are not going to learn that it's spelt Micheal, they're just going to correct it to Michael because that's the trad spelling.

Whereas an Irish name like Siobhan, Niamh etc. - they'll learn the right spelling. IME anyway.

I think there's a big difference between choosing a name that people may be unfamiliar with and so need to have spelled out, and choosing to deliberately 'creatively' spell a more well known name just for shits and giggles. The first is of course fine. The second is cruel.

'anti Irish chippiness' LOL

It's definitely a thing, Pag.

X-posted - and now laughing hollowly at DoJo's post.
If only.

is it ?
Lord, that's depressing.

Ignore me then. I haven't seen that. I love being part Irish.

Michael and Mícheál are not pronounced the same way.

Sunny do you realise how condescending and judge your posts sound?

Janine - possibly not but I absolutely was not thinking of the foreign version of Micheal when I wrote that, just people who can't spell.

X-posted - and now laughing hollowly at DoJo's post. If only.

It may not be your experience, but it certainly has been mine, although I grant that people will often correct the spelling of my name manually even when it's written down, but that's a HUGELY common name, so doesn't really prove anything about unusual ones.
Most systems that use an online form will just use whatever you write in the box without any human intervention which does limit the frequency with which incorrect spellings occur on documents. It does require the user to do things online though, which I suppose doesn't suit some people.

I also find it bizarre that some people can't see why an Irish person, or person of Irish heritage, might want to give their child an Irish name. It's an important link to the irish language and culture and just because its spelt with the same alphabet as English does not mean that the same pronunciation rules apply. The two languages are very different. Also we don't all stay in the same place we grew up in and you don't know how widely your children will travel and where they might choose to settle. Your easy to pronounce, common English child's name may not be so easily read elsewhere in the world, no reason not to choose it though is it?

You won't know whether YANBU until you ask your grown up DSes.

YAB (a bit)U. It's not the end of the world but... I have an unusual name and have had many times when I would have loved a simple name.

My hairdresser calls me a completely different name but with the same first letter (I thought she was talking to someone else the first time and didn't correct her and then it was too late)

My own grandmother spent 22 years pronouncing my name wrong as English wasn't her first language and she couldn't say it.

I give my middle name at Starbucks and the like because it is a common name.

It bothered me growing up that I never found my name on anything personalised (doesn't matter as an adult though).

Supply teachers in school always said my name wrong and it was hugely embarrassing.

No one ever remembers my name after just one meeting. I can tell they want to say 'X, would you like a tea' but can't quite get the X.

None of this has ruined my life, but I wouldn't have chosen my name. I am only grateful that DH has a common surname-think Smith- so I only have to spell my first name.

Bodin, do you have the lovely name "Katie"?
An Irish name in Ireland is an indication of education and probably middle-class status; something which I assume occasionally crosses borders. Spelling is also part of this so Orla is the anglicised version of Orlaith and Rory of Ruairi. I'm sure you may have encountered one or two similar examples of Africian names!

I have a very traditional Welsh name. It's difficult to spell and pronounce - but you know what - I love it.

I connects me to my family heritage and the downside of explaining my name to new people is more than made up for by the fact it makes me pretty memorable .

One off or unusual foreign names people will just learn, and they'll know that they have to learn them, or they'll accept that it needs spelling out.

Names with two common spellings (Anne/Ann, Lesley/Leslie) they'll at least know that there is another possibility, so all you have to say is "My name's Anne-with-an-e Smith" "My name's Lesley-e-y-at-the-end Aaronovich".

But nobody is going to be prepared for Oliveeyah; a name like that really is going to be a PITA for life unless you're lucky enough to have a co-spellee become famous, like Jorja Fox.