to be annoyed by people who question name choices on the fact the child 'will have a lifetime spelling their name'?

[Stillill]

My son has an Irish name in the UK (we do have Irish heritage although I feel that's not the point). We are likely to give our second child an Irish name too.

I am so sick of people in RL saying how it is cruel or awkward or ridiculous to 'set my child up with a lifetime of problems'. Really?? A lifetime of problems?

Yes, it is more than likely they will need to spell their name out the first time they meet someone. It is more than likely someone will ask how their name is pronounced. But once they've done this, they move on. It's about three seconds out of their time and probably not on a daily basis.

As an adult, most people I know know my name. I am not meeting a new person who might need to write my name down daily. I have a very easy to spell and say English name. If I do meet someone or call someone who needs to know my name or spelling, I tend to spell it out despite how common it is as people vary the 'ey' 'ie' 'ea' 'y' ending. It can also be misheard for other similar names. It doesn't bother me.

AIBU to say everyone needs to calm down and put 'difficult to spell' names into perspective as not ruining my child's life and setting them up to fail 'the high court judge test'?

I have a DS with a name that has various ways of being spelt and 95% of people will automatically spell it the typical way which is a PITA as I hate that version.

I think I have set my DS up for a lifetime of having to correct people on how to spell his name.

I had an unusual name way back in 1972 and it still is now. Aside from having to spell it to people, it has only ever been positive. It's Ceridwin / Sheridan/Ceridon (depending on nationality).

I'm a teacher too and some children get really fed up having to pronounce their name to yet another teacher.

I have an 8 letter first name that's French, and a 6 letter Olde English surname that is spelt with an e, where people don't expect one to be. The horrendous ways that people have got my name wrong really has to seen to be believed. I really don't mind my surname being spelt without the e, but when my first name is contracted and elided into my surname, it drives me insane!

There are only three other people in the UK with my name, one of them happens to live in the next town to me, it was highly amusing finding that out! (Tannoy in Sainsbury's :-D )

DS's name has come up a few times in this thread, with multiple variations of spelling that would be questioned by both English and Irish people, which was why we felt it was kinder to use it as a middle name.

Having been a supply teacher blundering my name through unknown registers, it is easier dealing with ethnic names, or standard variations than the plainly illogical or made-up. I have encountered many irate teenagers at yet another idiot who needs help to say or spell their name.
My children have really boring, standard first names, but the Gaelic middle names add interest

YANBU. It's a very anglocentric comment to make. When I read those comments, I imagine the person to be the type to say "Oh I can't possibly pronounce that, I'll call you Sarah instead."

Perhaps yanbu, however you are slightly naive. I have a friend with an Irish name, and they are forever correcting people on both pronunciation and spelling. They get very irate, it's not even a difficult spelling, even when given out, people come back with the wrong way. Remember, it's their name, not yours and unless you've been through years of having to correct people yourself, you'll never know the irriation of it.

Of course, it shouldn't stop people giving names from their own heritage. A world full of Olivias and Jacks would be dull.

"Listen, until I hear English people fuss about calling their children names that can be easily read and pronounced in China and what a cruelty it is to hive them names that cannot, I will continue to raise an eyebrow. "

I couldn't agree more. If those of us with non-English heritage all give our kids English names purely because the English don't know how to spell them, we're loosing part of our cultural heritage IMO.

It really annoys me when people trot out this line. This is the UK, with several different countries in it, not to mention a rich history of immigration from all corners of the globe. Why should we deny our families that connection with our own history and give our children English names?

I find it extremely insensitive when people here tell others not to use non-English names without any acknowledgement that they might not be English. There was a poster the other day asking about some beautiful Irish names. Cue loads of people telling her not to use hard to spell names. Turns out she lives in Ireland. I would like to think all the posters who criticised her on this basis came back and apologised for being dim, but I doubt they did.

I have a boring, common-sounding surname with an unusual spelling I have to spell it every time. But what of it? Would my life have been improved if my surname had been Smith?

I think if you pick a non-English name then you should spell it the traditional way if you want to, and people can just suck it up.

What I do think is ridiculous is when people take a modern but fairly straightforward name to spell and deliberately fuck around with it to make it more unique so the same name ends up with about 20 far-fetched and tedious variations and people are somehow expected to magically know this and remember whichever particularly daft version you've picked. The poor child will spend its whole life saying 'No, it's not Emily spelt E-M-I-L-Y it's Emaleigh spelt….'

You only have to look at the published name stats to see this nonsense in action:

Riley Jackson

Rylee Jaxon
Ryley Jaxson

Ryelee Jaxen
Ryeleigh Jakson

etc, etc, ad nauseum.

Yes I agree with you there. I remember reading when Footballers Wives was popular on TV, there were three spellings of Chardonnay in the top 100 girls names. That's an awful lot of little girls called Chardonnay but spelt wrong.

I think you just have to be a bit relaxed if people get it wrong though. I know a Caoimbhe (which I might have misspelt) who gets annoyed if people misspell it. I think if it's unusual to the country you're in (in this case New Zealand) then you have to accept that you'll have to spell it out a lot and people will get it wrong a lot.

Oh yes backcrack I know an Emilie (no French connection) and her mum goes mad when people get it wrong. I think you need to accept that it's just going to happen.

DP wants to give in utero DC a name no one will be able to spell.
I like it but am hesitant using it for this reason.

But then I have an 'easy' name and still have to spell it all the time!

I had a normal name with a ridiculous spelling.

I used to get birthday cards from aunts and uncles with it spelled the conventional way.

Not only did I have to spell it but I'd start, the person I was spelling it to would write it down and then continue with the usual spelling and then have to cross it out.

My brother could (and did) get things like a sign for his door, pencils, mugs etc with his name on, I never could. Granted with the ease of printing and online ordering this would be less of a problem, but as a small child I would look for my name in gift shops on holiday and never find it.

Eventually I changed it to the conventional spelling of the shortened version.

So OP No you are not ruining your child's life, but potentially you are ruining their birthdays when cards are spelled wrong, exam certificates may need to be changed, school reports may have the wrong name on and if your child is ever in the local paper be prepared to keep a cutting with the wrong name on.

YABU. I have an unusual name. I hate it. I was so shy as a child and would panic when someone asked my name. Even now I get a sinking feeling.

My dad has a very unusual Welsh name. ( He isn't Welsh but has Welsh heritage and was named after an uncle that died in the war.)

It isn't a "lifetime of problems" but it is a "lifetime of slight inconvenience" - much more so now that email exists - and he does get a bit fed up with it. Especially with people thinking he's a woman.

My brother and I arecalled names along the lines of Susan and James. As a child / teenager I wasn't a particular fan of my name too dull but as an adult I love it! And have called my own children Susan and James names too.

The people who really know are not those who have easy names or hard names but those who've experienced both.

I have an easy first name if you speak English but grew up in another country where no one could spell or pronounce my name. In fact on the rare occasion that a supply teacher would actually try to say it correctly my class would fall about laughing even though it is they who say it badly.

I spelled it out all the time and ditto for my surname. Pain. In. The. Arse. But you get used to ir.

Then I moved to uk and it was WONDERFUL to be able to just say my name over the phone to strangers and they'd just know how to spell it. I then married to a very foreign and unusual surname that no one could either pronounce or spell so I had to do both for people. Pain. In. The. Arse.

Ive since gone back to my maiden name which is easier but I still have to spell it because the spelling isnt obvious but at least its pronunciation is.

So I say YANBU to want to give your child a hard name. And I love irish names. It's good to get people familiar with them. Ireland is our neighbour. But YABU to declare its silly nonsense to consider tchild's difficulties. I prefer having an easy name.

My SIL gave her child an Irish name with the original spelling (in New Zealand). I could not pronounce when I read it. My DH could not pronounce it when I read it. My PILs could not pronounce it either. She insisted that was the name, and it would not be a problem.

She changed it to the English spelling after every single midwife and visitor in hospital got the pronunciation wrong.

YANBU giving your child the name you want. YABU expecting it not to cause problems for the child.

Catherine is tough to spell?! Try being called Nafsika. I have to go into army mode half-way with "F for Freddy, S for Sugar" and I still get Massika!

No no, Booboo - it's not tough to spell Catherine, there are just quite a few variations:
Catherine
Catharine
Katharine
Katherine
Kathryn
and probably more. :)

Your name is fabulous but I can see it being a spelling issue!

I have a traditional English name that nobody ever spells correctly anyway... People are lemons!

My maiden name was always spelt or pronounced weirdly and I married a man with an even harder to spell / pronounce surname...

You get over being frustrated by the time you start work as an adult....

My cousin had a name she constantly had to spell and was still often written down wrong. By her twenties she'd had enough and changed her name officially. She doesn't talk fondly of her parents giving her the name in the first place so I personally would consider this issue. But that's me.

I have children with both hard to pronounce and easily-pronouncable-but-spelled-differently Welsh names. If this is the biggest, hardest issue in their lives then I will consider them very lucky people.

I have an Irish name (I was born there, my mum is irish, my dad's mum also from Ireland) but came to England when I was small. I do like my name now, (it's always a conversation opener when I meet new people), but spent my childhood spelling it out,correcting it, pronouncing it etc.

As a consequence I was determined my children would have very easy to pronounce and spell names - which they do.