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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell friends to go out of sight when they smoke a cigarette?

178 replies

AzureDress · 20/03/2015 12:34

An old friend is coming to stay for few days. She is a heavy smoker and often chain-smokes. My DP previously smoked and in past I'd have occasional cigarette, and in our old house we used to let friends smoke in kitchen.

However I'm now pregnant and can't stand the smell, it makes me gag and sometimes vomit. DP quit smoking 2 months ago when we moved into new flat and (for his health and our baby) I don't want him tempted to start again. I don't want our friend lighting up in front of either of us for different reasons, even outside.

DP had a couple of cigarettes on our balcony (accessed via our bedroom) when we first moved in but the smell seemed to leech in through doors (or maybe on his clothes when he came in) as our bedroom reeked of smoke afterwards. I don't want our friend smoking on balcony, I think we should tell her to smoke outside only although DP pointed out there are 2 flights of stairs and nowhere to sit outdoors.

She doesn't know I'm pregnant yet (we want to tell her in person) but I'm worried it will be really awkward asking her to smoke out of sight. She likes to sit down with a cup of tea when smoking. DP is more sympathetic as he knows what it's like to be addicted to smoking.

In past when we went out (eg on daytrips) she and DP would frequently light-up, eg. when walking or in pub garden or before going in car/buildings. He's done so well to quit I don't want this ruined (or him feeling tortured) by watching her smoke.
AIBU to ask her not to smoke in front of us but to discreetly walk out of sight before lighting up?
This is also likely to be a problem with our other friends who are smokers.

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 21/03/2015 18:22

If you trust him then it doesn't matter what she does.
If you do not be clear about that. His fidelity and non smoking status are up to him alone.

Set out the table and two chairs, then he can go out and spend time with her whilst she smokes and keep her company

She is your guest - no matter how messy the situation.

CitySnicker · 21/03/2015 18:54

I thought u ALL knew each other from uni

StrawberryTot · 21/03/2015 20:08

YANBU to ask your friend not to smoke in your house.

But asking her not to smoke in site of your DH hahahahahahahaha YABU and utterly ridiculous. Get and grip and get your man to grow up.

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